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The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread

Started by Nowhere Man, March 19, 2018, 04:03:03 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

St_Eddie

From the Graham Linehan thread...

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on May 10, 2019, 05:16:51 AM
Imagine it. He'd log onto twitter "just for a sec", you know. To have a look. Got to keep current. Stay up to date with all the goings on.

...oh, what's this? Must not have unfollowed all the gender critical people I follow. I thought I had. There's always one you forget isn't there! Let's see. Oh, a new thread. I shouldn't read it. Well, maybe I'll read the first one and a few of the replies. You know, to stay informed. I don't have to comment on it. No one will know. It's fine to read.

...ugh. I don't agree with that. I think it'd be better to defer to someone I agree with. Won't say anything though, I promised. Have to stay strong. It's a shame to let my opinion go to waste though - I could really have a passive aggressive jab there on this topic.

...well, I'll type it out, but I won't send it. That'll feel just as good. Hmm but will anyone see that? Perhaps I'll just AHHHH FUCK IT TIME TO POST - HAVE THIS YOU SHITTER! WEREN'T EXPECTING LINNER TO GIVE YOU A CHINNER RIGHT UP YOUR CHICKEN DINNER! YESSSS MANN!!! OWNED BY THE G-LIN ONCE AGAIN!!

...and then I imagine him high on his own righteous toots for a minute or so, before coming to and realizing what he's done.

sponk

The sheer sassiness of this made me do a big lol

Quote from: Beagle 2 on May 09, 2019, 11:07:54 PM
London Hughes has cleared it all up:

QuoteDanny Baker (a man I've worked with in the past) knew full well what that tweet was suggesting. No comedian in their right mind could overlook that, that's not how our brains work. We see a joke from every angle. He knew it was racist, thought it was funny and posted it anyway

She's worked with him in the past, you see. Not for long enough to work out that he's not a comedian, but long enough to read his mind.

Fisher Goes Berserk


Ferris

Quote from: St_Eddie on May 10, 2019, 05:40:38 AM
From the Graham Linehan thread...

Cheers, went through 3 drafts.

More thought gone into that online rambling than Linehan has done in years.

up_the_hampipe


sponk

Quote from: Tommy Robwatson on May 10, 2019, 09:13:38 AM
Mr Farage, the people's champion, best pound-for-pound performer. Every time.

George Galloway applied to stand for us in Peterborough - the only orator of similar calibre. The very best are with us. The very worst are scared. Smears is all they've got. And fake questions. Pathetic.


touchingcloth

Quote from: St_Eddie on May 10, 2019, 05:40:38 AM
From the Graham Linehan thread...

People have mentioned Glinners a lot since I've been back. What happen? He set us up de bomb?

Ferris

Quote from: touchingcloth on May 10, 2019, 06:34:52 PM
People have mentioned Glinners a lot since I've been back. What happen? He set us up de bomb?

Well I'm simplifying a bit here, but he's gone batshit on some mad reddit-tier conspiracy theorizing about a tiny minority of marginalized people for no real reason that anyone can see, and he's stuck to it, dogmatically, in the face of criticism, concern, and old fashioned common sense. It's been going on for a few years now I think - every day, logging into twitter, railing about this and that for hours, then logging back off. He pretended to be his own assistant at one point, then when it became obvious he was full of shit he pretended he was actually joking (think Mark from Peep Show hiding during his own wedding then when rumbled claiming it was a joke and "it... really worked").

The whole thing is very odd - fair enough, he has an opinion and has a right to go on about it if he chooses, and although it's one that most people find offensive there are some more fringe people on the internet who agree with him. But to stick with it? Righteously? Day after day, month after month, to the detriment of personal and professional relationships? It is really strange, especially considering the tiny minority of people who could even be theoretically affected.

To be honest, I don't usually read the thread because it's so predictable as he's been in the same place for so long. I think other people have implied it has cost him financially and personally (I don't know the details and don't want to find out as it's not my business) but he's stuck with it. He will not be silenced on this bizarre campaign of fringe opinions on, as I say, a tiny minority of people to which he has no relationship or special insight.

Anyway! He recently said he's giving it up, and wrote an open letter (the wanker's epitaph) about it absolving himself (badly), and that was the end of it and he'd stop posting about it anymore. Obviously he made it about 36 hours before wading in again, which meant he cracked sooner than even the most liberal estimates. I was boggled at how quickly he folded, and wrote a (hopefully) funny little inner monologue for him, imagining the fateful minutes before breaking his oath.

Tl;dr: lost the plot for a few years, said he'd stop, didn't.

Twed

To summarize: he hates transpeople every breathless waking hour, of which there are 19 of in a typical Linehan day

Dex Sawash


Ferris

Quote from: Twed on May 10, 2019, 07:00:37 PM
To summarize: he hates transpeople every breathless waking hour, of which there are 19 of in a typical Linehan day

It's the fact that he can't just let it go that amazes me. If I had offensive beliefs (I don't), or was a public figure relying on general goodwill to make my lucrative living (I'm not), or used twitter (never have), the last fucking thing I'd do is start broadcasting my opinions 24/7. Why he doesn't just drop it and move on, I don't know.

Quote from: Dex Sawash on May 10, 2019, 07:07:11 PM
Terf'd out manticore while he was at it too.

[tag] day today slang [/tag]

a duncandisorderly

from the 'how/when did you give up drugs?" thread:

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on April 26, 2019, 03:38:05 PM
Yeah you're going to be up until the bag runs out + a couple of hours wanking like a safari park chimp.

chveik

Quote from: machotrouts on May 10, 2019, 10:55:16 PM
Imagine being Elvis's stillborn twin. Way to be the disappointment of the family. Actual Elvis is your brother and all you've done is get yanked dead out a fanny.

Ah yeah I have a brother, a twin actually. Who? Oh, Elvis. Yeah, yeah that one. 21 #1 hits, yeah. What do I do? Oh I'm medical waste. Dead at birth. Yeah... yeah, no hits, no. Just, died really.

PlanktonSideburns

Could you keep the glinner virus contained in the transphobic tosser colony please?

It's stifling my guffawlitude

PlanktonSideburns

Clownbabys comment about 3mm tall matt belamy got me good

Bazooka

Quote from: dex on May 10, 2019, 02:57:40 PM
BBC Presenter Vicky Fritz goes around Pontefract spray painting in gold every single piece of dog shit she can find.

And I don't even know who Vicky Fritz is.

Al Tha Funkee Homosapien

She's the BBC presenter who goes around Pontefract spray painting in gold every single piece of dog shit she can find. You know, that Vicky Fritz.

hummingofevil

Quote from: Cold Meat Platter on May 11, 2019, 03:55:39 PM
Watch Roadhouse on a loop until you get pumped then crush him and shit up his arse.

Quote from: alan nagsworth on May 11, 2019, 04:02:03 PM
Yeah you should deffo smash his head in with something like the base of a trophy, or a Yankee Candle. Something like that. Don't stop striking his head until you see brain.

Quote from: Small Man Big Horse on May 11, 2019, 04:15:34 PM
Firstly I want to thank everyone for their kind words, it does mean an awful lot.




Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quotei mean i get that these are two very important things in his life but i could do without the near constant highly detailed descriptions of the look and 'mouthfeel' of goats vaginas and assholes. very offputting.

kittens

Ambient Sheep

Quote from: Pingers on May 09, 2019, 03:16:19 PM
Quote from: Uncle TechTip on May 09, 2019, 12:25:20 AM
100+ posts in the football thread during the Spurs game. Great team effort by the lads. Seriously, non football fans should read it. Start at 8pm.

Just visited it - you're not wrong.

Quote from: madhair60 on May 09, 2019, 03:33:05 PM
Link us the start, then, dick'ead

Yeah, quite.

To save anyone else the bother, that would appear to be here. :-)

Seems to go on until about page 49.  It's ok, has some nice moments, but then I've been up all night coughing my lungs up so my sense of humour is probably a bit impaired.

Johnny Yesno


Ambient Sheep

Quote from: Johnny Yesno on May 12, 2019, 09:05:35 AMSeriously, no, they shouldn't.

On the very rare occasions that I've been extremely bored and I've thought "oh what the hell" and clicked on a Footie thread, despite having virtually no interest in the game, I've often been surprised to see how entertaining they can be. 

Also kind of fascinating to see CaB humour devoted to something I have so little knowledge of or enthusiasm for 97% of the time.  It's like a weird out-of-forum experience.

But this time not so much, but that could be illness, as I said. :-)

Johnny Yesno

Quote from: Ambient Sheep on May 12, 2019, 10:20:56 AM
On the very rare occasions that I've been extremely bored and I've thought "oh what the hell" and clicked on a Footie thread, despite having virtually no interest in the game, I've often been surprised to see how entertaining they can be. 

Also kind of fascinating to see CaB humour devoted to something I have so little knowledge of or enthusiasm for 97% of the time.  It's like a weird out-of-forum experience.

But this time not so much, but that could be illness, as I said. :-)

I couldn't make head nor tail of it, tbh. Nothing for me there.

Sorry to hear you're ill. Hope you feel better soon.

Captain Z

I took part in that bit of the footy thread and I think my posts are amongst the worst I've ever made.

St_Eddie

Quote from: Ambient Sheep on May 12, 2019, 10:20:56 AM
On the very rare occasions that I've been extremely bored and I've thought "oh what the hell" and clicked on a Footie thread, despite having virtually no interest in the game, I've often been surprised to see how entertaining they can be.

That's essentially what I do with the Doctor Who thread.  I can count on one hand the number of episodes which I've seen, but I've had a grand old time reading people's disdain for the current series.

chveik

kittens's goat erotica

QuoteI approached from the rear, the scraggy, tufted tail furtively flitting around, seeming to me an invitation. I could practically taste creamy goat quim - I began to salivate profusely, drool sluicing between my lips and falling into my thatch of matted, exposed chest hair. Softly, I whispered, "Good afternoon, Billy Goats Gruff. The troll has returned!', while hurriedly removing my belt. Anticipation killing me, I knelt behind her. Let me tell you boys, you won't find goat's cheese like this in Tesco.

touchingcloth