The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread

[Lordofthefiles]

Don't worry; hardly anyone checks the appearance of their own anus as they are growing up.  To be on the safe side, the parents can hide all the mirrors that would facilitate the child finding out.  Child won't know they have a tattoo of a child's face around their anus until they are old enough to have a tattoo, and then it will be fine.

And from the same thread:

A Big Mouth Billy Bass that instead of singing Don't Worry Be Happy, tilts its little head and announces that the holocaust didn't happen.

I don't know if I'm easy pleased or what, but I spend a LOT of my time on here shaking silently with laughter.

[paruses]

Gavin and Stacey remake. The last line is the clincher:

Smithy smashing a door down, shouting cunt, neighbours are looking on, concerned. He's threatening to kill them and breaking windows now. There are grave concerns about why the baby's bleeding.

[ZoyzaSorris]

And from the same thread:


I don't know if I'm easy pleased or what, but I spend a LOT of my time on here shaking silently with laughter.

Ye sad to say it but I chuckled to myself through that entire thread, with possible elevation to full guffawing out loud for certain entries, including the aforementioned. I think this site is one of the only things that makes me laugh any more (desolation?)

[non capisco]

Incidentally, as a kid we had a Who's Who In Entertainment Book (IMDB, but in book form, millennials) and for years and years I thought his real name was Dudley Worcs, because his entry started "Lenny Henry (born Dudley, Worcs.)".

Brilliant. Reminded me of this evergreen chucklemaker

[non capisco]

I'm currently working my way through daf's absolutely incredible History of UK Chart Number 1s thread on Oscillations, my favourite CaB thread for ages and absolute catnip to a pop trivia obsessed pillock like me. I have to give immense thanks to both daf for his typically incredibly committed, well researched and fascinating gubbins but also machotrouts whose running commentary on the hits of the 50s has been impeccably funny throughout, so even if you're waist deep in some turgid Pat Boone shite you can rely on that lad for a knockout laff summary that made the entire two minutes worthwhile.

Too many highlights to quote but this is the one I've just got up to

Imagine being Elvis's stillborn twin. Way to be the disappointment of the family. Actual Elvis is your brother and all you've done is get yanked dead out a fanny.

Ah yeah I have a brother, a twin actually. Who? Oh, Elvis. Yeah, yeah that one. 21 #1 hits, yeah. What do I do? Oh I'm medical waste. Dead at birth. Yeah... yeah, no hits, no. Just, died really.

Cheers to you both, that thread has really pulled me out of the right old dumps tonight.

[Glebe]

Brilliant. Reminded me of this evergreen chucklemaker

That's fantastic. Also that Replies comment about hardly anyone checking the appearance of their anus as they grow up is smashing.

[sponk]

I once had sex with someone in their mid-fifties when I was in my mid-twenties, and they told me it was the best, most inventive and most surprising Fathers' Day present I'd ever given.

Really caught me off guard

[Shaky]

Yes, that's brilliant. The choice of the word, "inventive" is what really got me going.

[sponk]

Yes, that's brilliant. The choice of the word, "inventive" is what really got me going.

I bet it did you dirty bollocks.

But yeah I love touchingcloth.

[touchingcloth]

You're a curtains.

gol

[St_Eddie]

From the Chernobyl thread...

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

come come, mr walnuts, you get as much fulfillment out of silencing people as i do

[Johnny Yesno]

https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,73498.msg3853458.html#msg3853458

Another banger from machotrouts.

[The Boston Crab]

Be careful about replying to any of this guy's posts. Every post he's made has been about bags of dildos. This is a probably a scam.

[Lordofthefiles]

'Lady in Red'.

I mean, I've no idea what the b-side was, but surely it can't be worse.

[Jittlebags]

Been reading the Topppermost thread after seeing it mentioned here. Very enjoyable and informative, but I literally cried with laughter at Gockle o Geer comment by daf. It was unexpected and glorious.

[ZoyzaSorris]

Yes feel reluctant to namecheck the milonga dildo commotion as it almost seems like too obvious a choice, but it made me laugh a lot so I guess musnt be churlish.

[Lordofthefiles]

i wonder if i would like a dildo up the arse.

Dion and the Belmonts admit lyrics "need work".

[Norton Canes]

Peterborough by-election - the Brexit Party's first MP (thread already edited by Mr. T'Watson)

A massive win for the Brexit Party, obviously.

6 weeks we ago projections suggested we might achieve 1 MP.

The most recent projection suggests we might win 300 seats.

This is the start of the chapter 2. The EU elections were the end of the beginning.

Democracy's coming home.

What smears is Corbyn going to oh-so effectively use this time? The same BS that brought Labour a massive 14% in the EU Elections, where they fielded all wildly pro-EU candidates?

But the Labour candidate is accused of anti-Semitism. I'd guess those jumping on champion of the oppressed George Galloway will be right on her (too). But not a peep. She liked a picture of someone holding a banner that, among other things, said "Zionism is racism".
Zionism is racism, it involves ethnic cleansing. "Zionism is racism" is a fact. So you can bet Corbyn has jumped to the defence of his campsite in this high profile by-election, right? Of course he hasn't, because he's a fucking pathetic spineless coward.

This thread can sink like a Freemason's drink-driving charge, but the Brexit Party are going from strength to strength. We're heading for government. A true revolution!

Thread already exists

Oh, sorry, I couldn't see it. I did ask in another thread too. Apologies. Is it in 'General Bullshit'?

I've found it! Right down the bottom. I'll copy my post. Thank you.

Absolutely fantastic. Just like when Perry goes from being a stroppy sulk to "Sorry, Mrs Patterson Mr Patterson!" as soon as Kevin's mum and dad tell him off.

[imitationleather]

He is a man living in fear of the banhammer.

[phantom_power]

I can't wait until he comes back from his trip to Manchester

[Cuellar]

Peterborough by-election - the Brexit Party's first MP (thread already edited by Mr. T'Watson)


Absolutely fantastic. Just like when Perry goes from being a stroppy sulk to "Sorry, Mrs Patterson Mr Patterson!" as soon as Kevin's mum and dad tell him off.

Best part is I can't even see that guy's posts any more.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Stuart Munds at school told me there was an X rated Carry On film called 'Carry On Prostitutes' so he might have been in that.

[idunnosomename]

Have you seen this fantastic new meme?

[kittens]

the ostensibly bad grater in that image is actually a much better grater than the grater they are saying is good. reverse the graters and i will at least agree with the meme.

[pancreas]

[Johnny Yesno]

the ostensibly bad grater in that image is actually a much better grater than the grater they are saying is good. reverse the graters and i will at least agree with the meme.

That .webp image isn't displaying for me. Is it a joke about the grater good, or something?

[Sebastian Cobb]

One of the graters is actually the new apple mac pro desktop. I didn't realise this until I read something later in the day.

[kittens]

oh, so the joke is the computer looks like a cheese grater. i thought it was saying those flat graters are better than the four sided ones, which would be utterly insane.

[Buelligan]

I don't think it would be completely insane, kittens.  What if you were pushed for space?  Plus the square ones are fucking terrible to clean, as soon as you put them in water, the circuits just fry.  Absolute shit and very expensive if you ask me, which, I know you weren't but still, truth will out.  And it's my free speech, don't you censor me.