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The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread

Started by Nowhere Man, March 19, 2018, 04:03:03 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

pancreas

I'm sorry if I'm out of line here, but I think you're being a FUCKING CUNT, Buelligan, because darling kittens, dear wonderful ductile kittens, is agreeing with you. I think you both prefer a planar grater.

Dex Sawash

I think I would like 4 individual flat ones, each having one side of a 4 sided one.
I would bin the nubbly one as I don't know what to do with that one. Is it for rubbing your nutmegs against?

BlodwynPig


kittens

Quote from: pancreas on June 05, 2019, 01:16:13 AM
I'm sorry if I'm out of line here, but I think you're being a FUCKING CUNT, Buelligan, because darling kittens, dear wonderful ductile kittens, is agreeing with you. I think you both prefer a planar grater.

what the fuck are you talking about??? i like FOUR-SIDED GRATER ONLY. i HATE one-sided grater. 'well actually kittens it has at least two sides' yes you fuck but only one is used for grating cheese isn't it and it is one of the worst ways to grate any amount of cheese.

p.s. know in america they call grated cheese 'shredded cheese'. what they call a cheesegrater, a shredder?? ha ha ha.

Quote from: kittens on June 04, 2019, 11:11:53 PM
oh, so the joke is the computer looks like a cheese grater. i thought it was saying those flat graters are better than the four sided ones, which would be utterly insane.

I thought it was funnier when I didn't understand it. Now it's just a middle-of-the-road joke about a computer looking like a cheese grater.

Replies From View


Buelligan

Quote from: pancreas on June 05, 2019, 01:16:13 AM
I'm sorry if I'm out of line here, but I think you're being a FUCKING CUNT, Buelligan, because darling kittens, dear wonderful ductile kittens, is agreeing with you. I think you both prefer a planar grater.

I am going to break you.

idunnosomename

Quote from: Darles Chickens on June 05, 2019, 07:55:24 AM
I thought it was funnier when I didn't understand it. Now it's just a middle-of-the-road joke about a computer looking like a cheese grater.
me too. Fuck

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on June 04, 2019, 10:52:13 PM
One of the graters is actually the new apple mac pro desktop. I didn't realise this until I read something later in the day.



Massively overpriced for a grater but if you need to grate cheese remotely (or grate that VR cheese they have now) it's really your only option.

Noonling

I preferred it when memes were just something Darwin invented.

pancreas

Quote from: Buelligan on June 05, 2019, 08:09:05 AM
I am going to break you.

No recollection of writing that. My academic collaborations are 35% maths and 65% booze. And we did a lot of maths yesterday.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: pancreas on June 05, 2019, 11:54:51 AM
No recollection of writing that. My academic collaborations are 35% maths and 65% booze. And we did a lot of maths yesterday.

Math


Twit 2


Paul Calf

Quote from: C_Larence on June 05, 2019, 01:03:21 PM
Quote from: hummingofevil on June 05, 2019, 03:23:16 AM
Fuck off dick fingers.

I take it this was a typo of "i bow down to your superior skills and wish i was as cool as you"



Perhaps I am easily amused.

pigamus



C_Larence

Quote from: Paul Calf on June 05, 2019, 02:49:58 PM
I take it this was a typo of "i bow down to your superior skills and wish i was as cool as you"




Perhaps I am easily amused.

I'm flattered but agree.

St_Eddie

Quote from: kittens on June 05, 2019, 07:54:52 AM
know in america they call grated cheese 'shredded cheese'.



I like to be in America!
O.K. by me in America!
It's called shredded cheese in America!
Not grated cheese in AmeRIca!

Replies From View

Shredding sounds a very violent version of grating.  Why don't they just grate it?

Captain Z

Because they haven't made America grate again yet.

St_Eddie


kittens




Glebe

I was feeling a bit cheesed off, but have been cheered up by some grate posts here lads!

imitationleather

Quote from: madhair60 on June 06, 2019, 12:11:27 PM
Work every little minor foible met with fucking falsified hysterics. Ah, I put that number in wrong, that's not right is it haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAA IT'S NOT FUNNY AND YOU KNOW IT

Replies From View

Quote from: Glebe on June 06, 2019, 01:12:50 PM
I was feeling a bit cheesed off, but have been cheesed up by some grate posts here lads!

Cheesed off and cheesed up.

Cheese, like a goat's cheese.

Pingers

Today has been a good day on CaB but this is the winner

Quote from: non capisco on June 06, 2019, 08:41:36 PM
INT: TERRY AND JUNE'S FRONT ROOM
(TERRY and JUNE are entertaining a younger couple that have just moved to the neighbourhood, FRED and ROSE)

JUNE: Shall we put some music on, Terry?
TERRY: OOOOOH JUUUUUUNE that's a good idea.
FRED: I say! Have you got any Procol Harum?
TERRY: The who?
ROSE: No, we don't like The Who! Procol Harum!
TERRY: The who?
FRED: No, not The Who! Procol Harum!
TERRY: The who?
JUNE: Oh fuck me bandy, Terry, not this fucking joke again. It doesn't even make sense, they're not called The Procol Harum.
TERRY: The who?
JUNE: No, not The Who, Procol...oh, get on with it!
TERRY: Of course, you young lot don't know about real music. I bet you've never even heard of The Hut Sut Song.
ROSE: The what what what?
TERRY: The Hut Sut Song! You know (sings) "The hut sut song! The hut sut song!
(SOUND EFFECT: MASSIVE FART)
TERRY: Oh, crumbs!
FRED: Well, I wasn't too fussed with the start but I quite liked the 'faaaaaaart, oh crumbs" hook.
TERRY: No, that wasn't part of it! It goes (sings) "The hut sut song! The hut sut song!
(SOUND EFFECT: MASSIVE FART)
TERRY: Oh, crumbs!
ROSE: Yes, that's how you said it went before.
TERRY: No, no, no, that's my serious IBS. Ignore the last bit. It actually goes (sings) "The hut sut song! The hut sut song!
(SOUND EFFECT: MASSIVE FART)
TERRY: Oh, crumbs!
FRED: Yes, you said! Is that all it does? "The hut sut song, the hut sut song, massive fart, oh crumbs'? Not much of a song is it?
ROSE: Bit repetitive.
TERRY (puce with frustration) No, no, no! I've not even got to the best bit! It goes (sings) "The hut sut song! The hut sut song!
(SOUND EFFECT: MASSIVE FART)
TERRY: Oh, crumbs!
FRED: Now, listen, Terry, I think you're trying to make fools out of us!
TERRY: Ooooooh, June!
JUNE: Perhaps if you start after the bit where it goes "The hut sut song, the hut sut song", Terry.
FRED: What, the bit where it goes "Massive fart, oh, crumbs!'?
ROSE: I think we've heard enough of that already!
TERRY: Now, LOOK HERE! It DOESN'T go "massive fart, oh crumbs"! Not once! As I've explained that's my serious IBS letting out a right old gate shaker. It goes (sings) "The hut sut song! The hut sut song!
(SOUND EFFECT: MASSIVE FART)
TERRY: Oh, FUCKING HELL!
FRED: So it goes "massive fart, oh fucking hell"? Not "Oh, crumbs!"
ROSE: Maybe the "oh, crumbs" one is the radio edit.
TERRY: IT DOES NOT GO MASSIVE FART ANYTHING! THE MASSIVE FARTS ARE COMING OUT OF MY ANUS! THEY'RE NOT PART OF THE...CUNTING HUT SUT SONG!
JUNE: Why not try singing the second verse instead, Terry?
TERRY: Oh, alright, alright. Now, how's it go again? Oh yes, that's right. It goes (sings) "The sut hut song, the sut hut song"
(SOUND EFFECT: TERRY VIOLENTLY SHITS HIMSELF)
TERRY: (sings) "Dancin' all night looooooooooooooong!"
(FRED, ROSE and JUNE break into spontaneous applause)
ROSE: Bravo, Terry!
FRED: Super, old chap!
JUNE: My favourite bit of the song is when you have to shit yourself.
TERRY: I'd like to see Procol Harum do THAT!
JUNE: The who?

imitationleather