Author Topic: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread  (Read 217208 times)

zomgmouse

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #1950 on: June 21, 2019, 04:19:17 PM »
Graham hasn’t spoken to his kids in 3 years as they don’t have Twitter accounts.

Lordofthefiles

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #1951 on: June 21, 2019, 05:00:37 PM »
Look, we have a person grabbing a woman by the neck. What if it was a man being grabbed? What if the man had arms like Popeye? What if the man was a mystic, and turned to smoke at the merest brush? What if the man had the face of god, and when you looked at him you saw all your mother's love multiplied into infinity? What if when he was grabbed the souls of the two men united, everyone in the room felt warm, their veins glowed a luminescent blue, and the most beautiful sound descended from the heavens, the sound of a lone voice, but one at total peace with this special kind of solitude, for the very bends of the sound, the shape of it, filled your heart with such sustenance, such grace, such love, such energy, that when you looked back at the man's face to see the face of god you see your own face smiling back at you, contented, with the innocence of a child. What then? You can guarantee the media wouldn't give a shit unless it was a woman

chveik

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #1952 on: June 21, 2019, 06:26:31 PM »
^ lovely stuff

a duncandisorderly

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #1953 on: June 22, 2019, 08:22:44 AM »


Surely the worst part is the OPEN sign painted above an obviously-closed shutter blind although that appears to be a permanent fixture of the building:





I guess it must be Grade II-listed.

Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #1954 on: June 22, 2019, 10:49:33 AM »
This is all going to be Talk to Transformer now isn't it? Still, John Peel's Festive Fifty in that. I've only read about five and I'm crying.

DoesNotFollow

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #1955 on: June 22, 2019, 02:35:49 PM »
Knock knock. "Hello. Is Ken Hom?"

Easily pleased, is me,

Buelligan

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #1956 on: June 22, 2019, 04:36:03 PM »
Not sure if this was a typo or not but I loved it.

This. And the Brexit Party - that many people voted for - is all this distilled, boiled down to remove any trace of humanity or decency that barely survive in the Conservative Party as it is. Voting for that, when the BP made it plain before the Euro elections they wouldn’t be releasing a manifesto because it’d turn people off voting for their single issue facade. So an allegedly intelligent and politically aware person dressing up a vote for the BP is a lie, pure and simple, it is a vote for Tory Party Max. Racism, fascism, bigotry, homophobia, misogyny, xenophobia. That is what we’re plunging into.

Maybe we’ve spent too much time hanging on about Brexit. But if opposing Brexit provides a rallying point for the totalitarian oligarchy we’re being herded into, then so be it -  even if enabling Brexit is the Trojan horse the Right use to enact their sordid little bell on earth.

So really this election is a sideshow. As somebody said above, it’s the difference between the Tories self-destructing in late 2019 or early 2020. I’d prefer the former...

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #1957 on: June 22, 2019, 08:20:12 PM »
Clatty McCutcheon’s Morrissey tracklists in the neural network thread.

Also, Wegger’s reworked Paul Simon. Something about the nonsensical demands to differing unnamed members of Tony’s family really made me laugh.

Just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
Don't need to be coy, Roy
Just listen to me
Hop on the bus, Gus
Don’t need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free
of them
Go on a wild ride, Ray
Don't talk all that much, Johnny’s ass’a*s
Get in your car, Kenny
Go home, Paul’s man
Go on a wild ride, Roy’
Go to the mall, Tony’s mom
Go to the mall, Tony’s baby
Go to the mall, Tony’s man
Go to the mall, Tony’s woman
Go into the bathroom, Bobby
Go into the bathroom, Bobby’
Go into the kitchen, Danny
Go into the kitchen, Danny’
Go into the kitchen, Danny’
Go into the kitchen, Danny’
Donkey, hold on and go, Joe’ go’ to the bathroom’ to the car’ to the parking lot†
Tough guy, man’ he gets in touch when he needs to’ like a grown-up
Wanna know more about those assholes who are on your way that don't want to listen?
Go to

Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #1958 on: June 22, 2019, 08:33:06 PM »
kind of turns into a Lou Reed song at the end

kittens

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #1959 on: June 22, 2019, 08:35:03 PM »
we may need to start a secondary thread dedicated to posts made by human beings

non capisco

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #1960 on: June 22, 2019, 08:57:43 PM »
kind of turns into a Lou Reed song at the end

Ha ha, exactly what I was thinking! 'Street Hassle' outtake.

Noonling

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #1961 on: June 22, 2019, 11:00:13 PM »
we may need to start a secondary thread dedicated to posts made by human beings

That thread wouldn't be as good tho

Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #1962 on: June 22, 2019, 11:45:11 PM »
We're laughing now because it's spouting bollocks but one day it will be indistinguishable from a human person post and then it will be too late for any of us

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #1963 on: June 23, 2019, 12:01:06 AM »
We're laughing now because it's spouting bollocks but one day it will be indistinguishable from a human person post and then it will be too late for any of us

It’s going to have the side effect of nobody wanting to create any kind of humour that evokes the AI style.

Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #1964 on: June 23, 2019, 12:05:37 AM »
You are right and I regret feeding it.

Johnny Yesno

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #1965 on: June 23, 2019, 12:10:00 AM »
It’s going to have the side effect of nobody wanting to create any kind of humour that evokes the AI style.

Yes, it's ironic that Transformer's guided random output pisses all over that LOLRANDOM shit in HS Art.

Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #1966 on: June 23, 2019, 12:14:16 AM »
Yes, it's ironic that Transformer's guided random output pisses all over that LOLRANDOM shit in HS Art.

You aren't funny, ever.

chveik

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #1967 on: June 23, 2019, 12:23:57 AM »
You are right and I regret feeding it.

it's good fun but don't worry, everyone will soon get tired of it.

Danger Man

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #1968 on: June 23, 2019, 12:25:17 AM »
You aren't funny, ever.

But he's got an incredible memory.

We ought to do a CaB Top Trumps.

Johnny Yesno

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #1969 on: June 23, 2019, 12:30:22 AM »
You aren't funny, ever.

Well, you are and thankfully, I don't have to scroll through pages of shite to see it because people repost the good stuff in this thread.

Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #1970 on: June 23, 2019, 12:34:08 AM »
Well, you are and thankfully, I don't have to scroll through pages of shite to see it because people repost the good stuff in this thread.

Aw don't make me feel bad, just let people have their fun without word screaming at them.

Johnny Yesno

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #1971 on: June 23, 2019, 12:49:27 AM »
I probably was being a bit harsh, but I can only think of the side effect RFV mentioned as a good thing.

Morrison Lard

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #1972 on: June 23, 2019, 12:52:07 AM »
Edit : Nah
« Last Edit: June 23, 2019, 01:05:20 AM by Morrison Lard »

Johnny Yesno

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #1973 on: June 23, 2019, 01:08:41 AM »
It'll probably come full circle anyway as the AI gets better. When it stops generating plausible-sounding garbage, it won't be as funny. It's like my friend's long defunct donkdj.com site. It could do a reasonable job of putting a donk on it, but it really came into its own entertainment-wise when the AI got a bit confused.

alan nagsworth

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #1974 on: June 23, 2019, 01:29:07 AM »
I think you'll find that donks are objectively, universally good in every capacity.

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #1975 on: June 23, 2019, 01:36:32 AM »
I think you'll find that donks are objectively, universally good in every capacity.

Christ, I remember putting a donk on it. I was taking a lot of ketamine at the time.

alan nagsworth

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #1976 on: June 23, 2019, 01:43:40 AM »
Donk rools k-holes drool

I didn't even intentionally type "rules" like that, it just came out of me. That was really weird

Mr Eggs

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #1977 on: June 23, 2019, 02:29:48 AM »
Clatty McCutcheon’s Morrissey tracklists in the neural network thread.

Do You Think People Will Help You?
We're Still Ganging Up On You
A Little Closer to Heaven And Earth
I'll Never Lose My Heart For You
Insects!
Eyes Of The Sun
Somewhere Up The Line
You Don't Kill People, You Don't Destroy People, You Don't Lie
Infect My Eye And Destroy My Mind
I Know You, I Know You, I'm Still Your Friend
Carry On, God
Wife, The Wife's Gotta Fight
You Can Make Me Not A Man

I'm not bawling my eyes out like the rest of you cunts about that thread, but the thought of Mozza himself singing a song called Insects! is the only thing that has given me a laugh all week.

a duncandisorderly

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #1978 on: June 23, 2019, 09:01:36 AM »


I'm not bawling my eyes out like the rest of you cunts about that thread, but the thought of Mozza himself singing a song called Insects! is the only thing that has given me a laugh all week.

cover of this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=esR7etq7LhQ

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #1979 on: June 23, 2019, 09:09:55 AM »
Quote
I've sometimes said to people that after a blackout I always check my fridge for human heads, first thing - it is a worry, that - but really you wouldn't get a head in there, not even if you lie it down face up. The compartments are too small. I think if I tried to push a head in there in a blackout I'd lose my temper cramming it in and the neurological activity of that would make me exit the blackout.

From the opening post of this thread:  https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,73854.0.html