The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread

[Noonling]

Nothing in particular

Reported.

[Ferris]

#anarchy

[Twit 2]

AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHA!!! Ricky Gervais is onstage at SECULAR TAKEDOWN CENTRE. He is dressed immaculately in white tuxedo with pearl cufflinks, baby-powder wool polo-neck, creased flannel slacks, wool socks and leather slip-on shoes. HA HAHHAH HA HA HA HAHAHAAAAA he exhaults.
Richard Dawkins appears behind him, dressed almost identically except in light powder blue and periwinkle.
"This man is funny and charismatic" booms Dawkins as Ricky continues to shriek next to him. Dawkwins puts his hand on Rickys shoulder.
"Richard Dawkins doesn't know shit" smirks Gervais, iconoclastically.
"Ah, but God" says Dawkins.
Both men continue laughing.
Richard Dawkins begins to massage Ricky Gervaises shoulder, he is growling.
"If God is real and don't like this" crows Ricky. "He'll come down and stop it, won't he?"
"Indeed" purrs Dawkins, rubbing Ricky's face. He is getting horny, you can see his log on details.
"I love it when he gets randy!" Ricky sais, "he doesn't know his limits! You cant get away from him!"
Richard Dawkins starts to probe Gerv's arsehole through his back.
Richard Dawkins gives Richard Gervais a fist-hobbling on stage.
The auditorium is empty.
The show doesn't start for another month.
"If Jaysus don't like it..." shouts Dawkin.
"...He'll come up here and stop this!" laughs Rick.
They fuck and suck on a bed of turds and olives.
They are naked and crying into each others mouths and married now and cackling for hours.
God doesn't make it stop.
He has turned away from us forever.

[Cuellar]

That is an epic piece of terror

[non capisco]

I heart Gregory Torso. Always have, always will.

[St_Eddie]

This post from the Cats film thread made me heartily chuckle to myself...

I've seen Cats the musical. I liked it! Everyone looked great and not disturbing. I was a child obviously but still. I remember when my 2000s MSN friends were telling me what furries were and I said I might be a furry because I liked Cats. My Swedish 13-year-old friend replied "That's not exactly hardcore fetish gear Tom. XD" and I decided I wasn't a furry. People still said "XD" in the 2000s.

This looks like when I used my EyeToy to scan my face into a Tony Hawk's Pro Skater on the PS2 and played the whole game through as a fully-grown adult with my blurry prepubescent face badly mapped on. I miss the 2000s

[Replies From View]

[sponk]

He does most of his shopping in petrol stations? Does he think he's P Diddy?

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

You can get your shopping delivered on the internet now Tony.

[sponk]

I think he knows that

[Clownbaby]

_

[Replies From View]

He does most of his shopping in petrol stations? Does he think he's P Diddy?

Petrol Daddy, he is called.

I also love how 12 packets of Twiglets must seemingly come through the post attached to one of those display things.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

I think he knows that

Oh. See what you mean.

[Ferris]

I also love how 12 packets of Twiglets must seemingly come through the post attached to one of those display things.

That's how twiglets grow in the wild. It's the equivalent of getting a bushel of tobacco or bananas.

[dr_christian_troy]

Petrol Daddy, he is called.

I also love how 12 packets of Twiglets must seemingly come through the post attached to one of those display things.

It'll be exciting to see the look on Tony's face when he removes the final packet from the display card, only to reveal an image of an anthropomorphic female topless pig with massive breasts panicking and drowning in a swamp of Marmite.

[Ferris]

I've only had proper food poisoning once, on holiday in Cornwall. I ate some dodgy rowe from a chippy. Cue 48 hours of sicking up yellow bile in a Conway Camper. When my parents thought I was through the worst of it we went out somewhere, I shat myself, my dad had to wipe my arse behind a skip.

28 I was, etc.

Another time in Cornwall we were on a secluded beach and I needed to go. My dad dug a hole in the sand with my plastic spade and told me to go in that. Every now and then I think about that, and the possibility that another holidaygoer innocently dug it up shortly afterwards, and laugh my bollocks off.

Something about a dad pushed to the brink of desperation, and resorting to forlornly digging a hole for his son to shit in made me laugh.

[samadriel]

If his shits were iron, he could have really spoiled the day of someone using a metal detector.

[Replies From View]

If his shits were iron, he could have really spoiled the day of someone using a metal detector.

Spoiled?

[Johnny Yesno]

If his shits were iron, he could have really spoiled the day of someone using a metal detector.

Do we know he didn't have chalfonts?

[Sebastian Cobb]

If his shits were iron, he could have really spoiled the day of someone using a metal detector.

If me, or my future progeny ever have to resort to shitting in a hole on a beach I'm going to chuck some low-denomination change in there I reckon.

[chveik]

think about it like this; a clearly agitated woman approaches you on the street "help me!" she implores. "a man took my baby!" you'd ask her where? what did the man look like? have you called the police etc. you'd help her look for her missing child right?

now imagine the same woman... but this time she's also very very mental and barking about a gigantic horned freemason swooping down on the blackened wings of a bat to carry off her part-angel child (they use liquified angelbabies to lubricate their telescopic gangstalker bat-cocks you see). you're probably not going to give her the time of day. you'd put your head down and briskly walk along pretending you didn't hear her while trying not to bump into her shopping trolley full of disembodied doll heads.

but get this; she's still out of pocket to the tune of one baby... but now instead of looking for a windowless van on the local cctv we're either sitting around doing nothing or half-assedly excavating the ruins of a children's hospital in the very vague hope of uncovering a vast ancient temple of mammon with a giant sacrifical blender in place of the traditional stone altar.

that's the problem innit.

[Ferris]

^that is class. Jose is another "under the radar" poster I always enjoy

[a duncandisorderly]

It'll be exciting to see the look on Tony's face when he removes the final packet from the display card, only to reveal an image of an anthropomorphic female topless pig with massive breasts panicking and drowning in a swamp of Marmite.

was going to repost this in 'guffaw' when I realised it's already here. home-run, doctor. fair play.

[a duncandisorderly]

^that is class. Jose is another "under the radar" poster I always enjoy

it's like dr-who-for-grownups, that scenario.

[SteveDave]

Hahah eat SHIT

I don't know why, but this just tickled me.

[alan nagsworth]

The self ID debate is now properly on Ricky Gervais radar and rest assured he is on his way. Soon he'll be bowling through it like a Double Dragon boss with diarrhoea in Miniatur Wunderland

Great little mental image there.

[samadriel]

I don't know why, but this just tickled me.

Madhair has been evincing 'drunk poster' behaviour in that thread for over 24 hours now, I'm becoming concerned.

[Lordofthefiles]

Please don't wank us off like this, it's fucking insulting

[non capisco]

Fantastic acceptance speech. Brought to mind Winston Churchill's first speech as Prime Minister where he referred to the threat of Nazi Germany as "totally gnarly" and how Britain's response was going to be "bodacious to the max".

Less a GUFFAW out loud and more a hysterical howl into the fuckin abyss. But still.

[Mrs Wogans lemon drizzle]

Quote from: Brundle-Fly on April 11, 2019, 12:44:40 PM
There are two clips of Madeley on This Morning I would pay good money to see again.

1) Richard wearing an 'Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat' and dancing on his own in front of a load of kids singing Any Dream Will Do. It goes on much longer than he thought and you can see he starts to get really self-conscious by the end.

2) A phone in about embarrassing ailments to Dr Chris. A man calls in to discuss what appears to be colitis but the phone line breaks down. On air, Richard asks for the phone number of the caller on his earpiece and then demands somebody from production hand him a mobile. We then enjoy Richard loudly relaying the conversation to Dr Chris (rather than just handing him the mobile). He asks what the symptoms are and he explains to the doc, "He says...what's that? It's a bad line, Keith...He says he's got an itchy anus...and?...it smells...there is blood....Chris is asking if there is any discharge....I said discharge. etc"  Judy melts. Again.

lol.  that really made me laugth