The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread

[marquis_de_sad]

On Gove becoming a TV presenter a la Michael Portillo:

Sorry to be shallow about this but I think this is a genuine factor: It doesn't actively hurt to look at Portillo for an extended period of time, whereas Gove is an unwatchable visual calamity.

Funny because true.

[Ambient Sheep]

Although funnily enough people said much the same about Portillo back in the 80s and 90s.  Nothing compared to Gove though.

[madhair60]

Nothing compared to Gove though.

Prince considers rewrite.

[Cuellar]

Prince considers rewrite.

[Ambient Sheep]

pancreas considers exploding.

[Goldentony]

that Portillo show about him piddling round on trains is genuinely really good, it's just a shame it's hosted by that fatheaded nightmare

[Twed]

pancreas considers exploding.

You've accurately described diabetes there.

[Ambient Sheep]

Well the Islets of Langerhans are the very best islets.

[bgmnts]

Cocaine in Spain stays mainly in toupee

[Jockice]

Povidone

Re: Charity stream hosted to spite transphobic tosser Graham Linehan [split topic]

Popping in to say that this thread has just caused me to ask the bus driver for an 'adult human single'. Fucking cheers Glinner.

£1.70 if anyone's interested.

[BlodwynPig]

Cheaper to get a gay return

[Ferris]

Cheaper to get a gay return

First you say my boring hobbyhorse topics are interesting, and now this.

You've lost your touch.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

that Portillo show about him piddling round on trains is genuinely really good, it's just a shame it's hosted by that fatheaded nightmare

It's his clothes that do my head in. He thinks he's the world's most stylish man with his primary colour suits and that, but he just looks like a bellcheese.

[Cuellar]

It's his clothes that do my head in. He thinks he's the world's most stylish man with his primary colour suits and that, but he just looks like a bellcheese.

He dresses in the colours of the flag of each country he goes to! Like an insane genius!

[Captain Z]

Is possible

(Obviously needs to be read in context)

[canadagoose]

librarian's arsehole stuffed with expired bus tickets


Edit: valid bus tickets

The edit makes it.

[Cuellar]

I know I said sport threads are not funny but this was

BAT AND BALL BONGO DEMENTIA FUCKDOWN

[Cerys]

My best mate at secondary school's family had several pets, the most violent of which by far was a chihuahua. The little bastard once had me pinned up against the stairs and ripped my favourite jumper, I'm not kidding, it would have killed me given half a chance.

In situations like that I think the best course of action is to punt the dog down the stairs

shoot it through the letterbox

From the Decriminalising Pitbulls thread.

[the]

In English Food:

What do people do in other countries after kicking out time and they fancy a bit of grease? Like, what do they do in Saudi Arabia after the pub shuts?

[Twed]

Gonna get a big dog and name him HOME INVASION.


Gonna train him to climb down chimleys and eat babies straight out the cot!

Chimney + "straight out the cot" like a cot is the baby's peel.

[Pseudopath]

Gregory Torso strikes again:

The reason Lee Mack blinks so much is that he is stopping time and thinking of something funny to say before blinking again and restarting the universe.

I don't know about Sandy Toksvig.

The Lee Evans rant a couple of posts up from that is well worth a read too.

[the]

From the Red Dwarf AA advert thread:

If we were to flip this on its head, I'd happily watch a sitcom starring the Hofmeister bear.

^{I would too mate, I would too.}

[Ambient Sheep]

From The Bible thread:

I can also concur that it goes downhill after Genesis. I persevered and there are a few other good bits, eventually.

Phil Collins has a name you know.

Genuine LOL from me.

[Bazooka]

How did I miss that? Anything Madely related is euphoric to me.

[Doomy Dwyer]

Further transmissions from the strange and wonderful world of Pijlstaart...

I realised long ago that there was something more about me, I was special, and really emblematic of the nation itself. Ich bin brittania, I felt the salty tongue of her huddled masses against my undercroft, the thickness of her muffin top against my jorts, the weight of her pie-laden bindle against my shoulder, an incredible burden, but I did not tire, for I was more than that, I was imbued with pluck and gall and I stood defiant.

I am not a blind woman banging on a drum, I am not a pack of RADA dropouts climbing out of a papier-mache hill, it is a false representation, and I am altogether better than that. It should have been one man draped in a bedsheet with a fear boner poking through, standing alone. I will never fall, he tells his bemused colleagues, I shall stand. They run off to play amongst themselves, and it zooms into his great sinewy calves, uncompromising, unmoving, a vision of strength.

I think we can all agree.

[BlodwynPig]

Olympic thread?

[Johnny Yesno]

Olympic thread?

If you click on the 'Quote from:' link, you will see that this is indeed the case.

And, I agree, it is wonderful stuff. Jorts.

[BlodwynPig]

If you click on the 'Quote from:' link, you will see that this is indeed the case.

And, I agree, it is wonderful stuff. Jorts.

I've been told before and I'll be told again

[Johnny Yesno]

I've been told before and I'll be told again

If you click on the 'Quote from:' link, you will see that this is indeed the case.

[sponk]

The name of the latest registered user made me laugh. Can't believe nobody took this earlier:
mohammedjones18@gmail.com