The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread

[touchingcloth]

The name of the latest registered user made me laugh. Can't believe nobody took this earlier:
mohammedjones18@gmail.com

Is it a reference?

[Action Fish]

Has he started asking for a red rinse at the hairdressers instead of a blonde one, or did he leave a red sock in the wash when he boiled his head?

Laughed at this for a solid minute.

[purlieu]

Pugwash characters with rude names

Cumbeard

[dr_christian_troy]

The thread title STUPID OLD FUCKERS GET TO TALK TO A LOAD OF KNITTED 1950S PEOPLE and the subsequent photo in the opening post made me laugh severely. Like reading a Daily Mail headline while wearing the sunglasses from They Live.

[Lordofthefiles]

I go there all the time to watch my wife be spit-roasted

[Dex Sawash]

^ i fucking laughed at that too

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

SUCK MY CLIT.

[Cuellar]

I mean obviously

Nicholas Lyndhurst finds himself cornered in FULTON FOODS by a small Italian man who hisses: "Now Rodney, it is your turn to make the face, you filthy liar boy. Make a face, Rodney. When I fall on the floor, you make a face, you complete liar bastard, you worthless plank. Don't you dare to try and run away. You are twelve years old. You have been in prison for smoking grass and I covered for you, I told everyone you had gone to Afghanistan. But I have seen your cell, it says 'Rodney is an unwanted child' on the wall, someone has carved that there, and when I fall, you will make the face. It is the least you can do for me, and for your mother, and for your horrible wife."

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

true story; i used to be a bar steward in a working men's club and we had a group from mensa book the function room. i made sure to talk very slowly to them. "what are you doing there, puzzles?" "oooh arent you clever!" etc. when i came back to the main bar i told the secretary how brave i thought they were. bless 'em.

i'd confused "mensa" with "mencap". to be fair, if you'd seen this lot you'd probably have done the same.

Proper laughed at this.

[Huxleys Babkins]

Fatima Shitbread

Absolutely caught me off guard.

[pancreas]

Absolutely caught me off guard.

Ich auch.

[Lordofthefiles]

Ever fucked a car? Get your wellies on and make a day of it, going far beyond the obvious exhaust pipe scrunting (though the fading warmth of a just-used pipe on the todge is pleasant, perhaps it's the carbon monoxide winnowing up your urethra, making it all sleepy like a well-fed seal in a nocturnal cave) and into a full-bodied investigation, documented by clipboard. Slam the doors in on your tits, crush up Chris De Burgh CDs into a glitter to shower over yourself as you slide back and forth over seats like an eel escaping a greedy heron. Dip your balls into the beverage holders to see if they fit, if so call them 'Bella' and sing a courting song for their mama's permission - she's scornful in her apron but you can make her relent with this madrigal. On first cum you can bash yourself clean through the windshield, crawling unscuffed through the crystal to flail moonfacing and letting your nozzle spray well up past the shattered remnants into what's left of the night.

Genuine joy at this post.

[Twit 2]

Why thank you. I was editing while you were quoting so it's a bit different now, but the jist remains.

[BlodwynPig]

Why thank you. I was editing while you were quoting so it's a bit different now, but the jist remains.

It shimmers with an otherworldly darkness

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

That's laugh out loud funny

[Space ghost]

From the Ebola's back! thread

SARS
Swine flu
Mad cow disease
Feline Downs
Foot and mouth
Bird flu
Mixomatosis

Vogue

[Gregory Torso]

Genuine joy at this post.

"making it all sleepy like a well-fed seal " - that is wonderful.

[Jockice]

Inspector Norse

Re: Football 2020 - Jetpacks for Goalposts
« Reply #141 on: Yesterday at 11:07:59 PM »
Quote
I just googled Forest Green and it's "an area of Nailsworth, Gloucestershire".

Nailsworth, Gloucestershire is a fucking HAMLET. There's only five notable people listed there on Wikipedia and one of them was a fucking tramp. It has a fucking town crier and the only historical event of note was when a bunch of people fucked off to Australia in 1839. It doesn't even have a train station.

[Lordofthefiles]

The child was French. Case closed.

[Chollis]

If I could have only two words on my grave they would be MASS GRAVE.

[Ray Travez]

tonight's wank sorted

[Ray Travez]

probably needs the context

[up_the_hampipe]

From the Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee thread:

I can't bring myself to watch the Gervais ones after his appearance in the trailer strutting around like he's just finished cumming down his own throat.

[canadagoose]

Vagina steaming topic

Skinner, why is there smoke coming from your beauty salon?

Oh that isn't smoke, that's steam. Steam from the steamed clams.

[sponk]

Vagina steaming topic

Prefer the anus boiling mars

[Jerzy Bondov]

Just a little thing but nw83 got me with a classic rule of three list of famous black men in this post.

[Cuellar]

The thread title 'In The Gravey' in Oscillations about the death of a village person

[non capisco]

Pretty much every sentence in Gregory Torso's OP for his 'Erotic Fiction' thread had me in bits this morning.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

'show me the recipe for the spice mix you belsen'

[Twit 2]

Pretty much every sentence in Gregory Torso's OP for his 'Erotic Fiction' thread had me in bits this morning.

Great stuff. Missed that one.