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The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread

Started by Nowhere Man, March 19, 2018, 04:03:03 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

pancreas

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on October 28, 2019, 12:47:06 PM
However just as many will opt for their children to care for them in return for their inheritance. Those children will then use their inheritance to start their own pathetic little buy to let fiefdoms. It is already happening.

The real answer is to poison your weak parents by cooking some seafood dinner badly. It always has been. Even as far back as 2016.

magval

In Butchers Blind's thread about an awkward situation in his office.

Quote from: madhair60 on October 28, 2019, 10:59:05 AM
Quit your job to be honest. You may as well be the ghost of a clown

Ferris

I came to post that belter by Shoulders. Good chuckle from me.

Also this, from the deso thread

Quote from: Huxleys Babkins on October 28, 2019, 02:22:22 PM
Morrissey hurls a pack of Linda McCartney sausages into the doorway of a mosque.

Something about a strained Moz, desperately torn between his conflicting beliefs amused me. I also assumed it was done from the window of a speeding car, which was funny.





Blue Jam

Quote from: hamfist on October 26, 2019, 06:15:16 PM
Me : Where did you buy your new coat ?

Boomer : Garden centre

Deserves a mention in this thread. Post Of The Year.

marquis_de_sad

Quote from: Huxleys Babkins on October 29, 2019, 11:11:05 AM
Back when the Dreamcast was a thing, I was playing Toy Racer in a lobby full of French people. They all started sending me "abusive" messages about Princess Margaret (she'd just had her scalding bath incident). As someone with, at best, utter indifference to the Royal family, I was roaring as their messages became more and more toxic. "I hope your Princess Margaret fucking dies", "Princess Margaret is a whore and so is your fucking Queen", etc.

But the absolute best one was someone trying to take credit for Diana dying in Paris. "Diana RIP. France 1 - 0 Angleterre".


Lisa Jesusandmarychain

That one about the dog haplessly wandering off a cliff edge. I think what makes it is the family hopefully shouting the name over the cliff edge, as if it would come scampering back up, having survived the incident Wile E. Coyote style.

oy vey

From the "Am I missing something thread"...

Quote from: NJ Uncut Page 1
If you want her as a friend give her space and respect her decision. I'd say hello like nothing is wrong after some time has passed.. You work with her. There's not necessarily a huge mystery to unravel.

You can't judge a situation you don't know 100% about so don't bother taking it personally either.

Quote from: NJ Uncut Page 15
Tell her to fuck right off.

purlieu

Most of that thread, to be honest. But really, this and the two immediate responses absolutely made my day yesterday:
Quote from: Butchers Blind on October 27, 2019, 10:14:45 AM
Shiiit!! Think I might phone in sick tomorrow.  Checked my phone, message sent by me to her at 23:46, "you could be having these drinks but no. x" followed by another message by me three minutes later of a picture of my foot.

Done gone fucked that right up.  Damn you booze.

Quote from: Kryton on October 27, 2019, 10:40:20 AM
Excellent stuff.

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on October 27, 2019, 10:45:37 AM


madhair60


alan nagsworth

Loving that thread about the office text. Nearly shit my pants laughing at this:

Quote from: Twit 2 on October 26, 2019, 06:03:49 PM
Sorry I've only just seen this so hopefully this isn't too late:

Go out into the glades and fetch sparrows. Punch them into a sack until it's so full it trails on the twigs and leaf litter. Leave the sack in a pantry and from time to time beat it with a large baker's rolling pin. When all the sparrows are dead or have had enough, pluck their feathers and add them to a large tub or pot. When day retreats to the ends of the earth, strip to your necessaries and paint yourself in creosote or a similar sticky shop-bought compound. Now, carefully add feathers to yourself. You can strut about, preening and tugging, if you like, you naughty bird! When the task is done, flit out your door and make your way along the hedgerows to her nest (house). Ring the doorbell and have a lager while you wait. She will open the door expecting a person but will actually get a giant angry sparrow (you). From here, you have a number of options, mostly based around permutations of pecking, squawking, and shitting. Make sure you've had lots of milk, PVA glue and grey paint as this will give your guano the desired speckle. Also ensure you've left a portion of your face featherless so you can put a post-it saying Tits? on it.

Cheers!

ZoyzaSorris

Sad to say that thread is gold from the get go. Like an interactive choose your own adventure of joyous cringe. Perfectly paced cliffhangers. Hopefully it ends happy ever after and butchers blind wanders off into the sunset with the flaky 'ample-chested' sociopath.

oy vey

From the newly created Guess who's single thread...

Quote from: Mrs Wogans lemon drizzle
Wanna pic of my shoe x?

Quote from: NJ Uncut
Tell her to fuck right off.

Shoulders?-Stomach!


touchingcloth


oy vey

^ Mr. Cloth is underrated I fear. He's doing sterling work in the Exhibition Années 90 thread.

Bazooka

Quote from: Glebe on October 29, 2019, 12:28:16 AM
It's 1979, and Paul's soul is hovering as he is about to be born.

"Hmm, better not! Perhaps I can convince another soul to enter my body before it is brought into the world?"

Glebe in the Play It Safe Paul thread.

Bennett Brauer

Quote from: oy vey on October 29, 2019, 11:02:48 PM
^ Mr. Cloth is underrated I fear.

Easily the best exponent of disguising a link to a fictitious paedophile website I've ever seen.

Glebe


Lisa Jesusandmarychain

RFV's posts in the 'Football Chants but for other sports'  thread in H S Art (well, most of those posts, but RFVs are the bestest).


NJ Uncut

Quote from: Bazooka on October 29, 2019, 11:32:34 PM
Glebe in the Play It Safe Paul thread.

Yeah well YOU in that super-safe thread!

Quote
Quote from: Bazooka on October 29, 2019, 11:30:47 PM
Butters a years worth of toast, just in case some mornings he won't have time.

The mental image cracked me the fuck up

Bennett Brauer

Quote from: icehaven on October 30, 2019, 01:28:29 PMBack in the 1950s my Mum, living in Coventry at the time, went on a church trip to Italy with lots of other groups from other churches around the UK. During the trip they were all involved in a train accident in which the train rolled down an embankment and came to rest in a cabbage field, and they all had to spend the night there waiting to be rescued. Luckily no one was seriously hurt but their priest did end up in a luggage rack.

The very last bit, obviously.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: NJ Uncut on October 30, 2019, 01:09:34 PM
Yeah well YOU in that super-safe thread!


The mental image cracked me the fuck up

Haha. I wondered when that would finally start reaching its potential.

touchingcloth

Quote from: Bennett Brauer on October 30, 2019, 01:26:19 AM
Easily the best exponent of disguising a link to a fictitious paedophile website I've ever seen.

Ask this poster if they agree with that.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy