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The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread

Started by Nowhere Man, March 19, 2018, 04:03:03 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Twed


Quote from: Pijlstaart on November 10, 2019, 10:55:18 AM
No undercoat, like werewolves, they are like beasts. There is a foul strength to them, and they were created in our image to mock us. They do not craft fine things or bring us gifts, if you offer them cutlery they will hold it with their unwashed feet. They lust after christian women, they steal babies from their cribs and replace them with their own. Their gods are so dark and ancient that we have forgotten their names and the chants that summon them.


Replies From View


marquis_de_sad

QuoteHamilton receives word that his friend Laurens has been killed in a seemingly pointless battle, and throws himself into his work

Quote from: non capisco on November 10, 2019, 11:41:23 PM
Well a wick wick wack and a wack wack wattle
Laurens was killed in a pointless battle
The guy that shot him must have been a real jerk
I guess I'll throw myself into my work!!

^Critics have called this "The highlight of Hamilton".


Cuellar


DangledTeeth

Quote from: Glebe on November 12, 2019, 11:04:42 AM

THIS CANNOT BE MIKE: Hello everyone, I'm Mike Fisher, the new barman of the lounge here at Fawlty Towers! Oh good evening, Uncle Albert, fancy a rum?

UNLIKE UNCLE ALBERT: Yah, Moike, make it a lorge wan! Nah, let me tell yoo anovvah story about Captain Kenworthy! We woz stranded on anovvah desort oiland-

THIS CANNOT BE MIKE: Oh no! Not another shaggy dog story!

UNLIKE UNCLE ALBERT: Dahn't be fakeecous, Moicheal! Oi'm talkin' abaht heroes!

THE MAJOR IMPERSONATOR: Bah Jove! I remember you! Bloody navy deserter!

IT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE BASIL: Put the gun down, Major!

DINER: Ha ha, I must say, this is an excellent melding of Fawlty and Fools!

IT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE BASIL: No, the actor really thinks he remembers the Uncle Albert guy in real life! He's gone mad - he's going to shoot him!

IT'S NOT SYBIL: We really should vet members of our dining experience cast!

NOT MANUEL: Gary! Gary!



The picture and 'Gary! Gary!' did it for me.

Quote from: PlanktonSideburns on November 12, 2019, 01:34:18 PM
newspapers have some of the most hideous and innavigable websites dont they?

at least big dave's heavy metal midi dungeon geocities site was readable


Glebe

Quote from: DangledTeeth on November 12, 2019, 01:06:09 PMThe picture and 'Gary! Gary!' did it for me.

Aw thanks a mil, Danglers! JACKANORY, JACKANORY!


Twed

Quote from: kittens on November 12, 2019, 11:43:29 PM
it would be absolutely terrible if they got paid 15 pounds an hour. just imagine it. everyone would get jobs at the mac donald shop and there'd be no one doing anything else. all of uk just one big mac donald shop with no one to fix the computer or to come up with a new marketing strategy.

pancreas

Double desolation bill:

Quote from: Gregory Torso on November 12, 2019, 03:35:37 PM
Bernard Matthews' eldest biological child razes a children's petting zoo to the ground with a flame thrower, absolute scorched earth chief, nil animals remaining, on father's day.

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on November 12, 2019, 07:41:20 PM
A paedophilia rehabilitation clinic that rehabilitates Paedophiles from being unsuccessful depressed Paedophiles to become highly successful socially active paedophiles again.

Chollis



Lordofthefiles


Twed

Quote from: Cuellar on November 13, 2019, 03:38:46 PM
'Bigotry and violence'?!

Boomers spat at in the street, gangs of millenials round them steadily chanting 'ok boomer, ok boomer, ok boomer'

Brick thrown through retiree's window, followed by another, then another then another until he sees, with mounting horror, that they spell out 'ok boomer' on his living room carpet.

Boomers not allowed to own property.

The 'OK Boomer Act' disenfranchises boomers and imposes a 100% income tax. They are barred from all professions apart from Member of local Round Table, Alderman, Chartered Accountant, Actuary.

Boomers confined to certain areas of country - Surrey, Rutland, Suffolk, Kent, Guildford.

The OK Boomer camps begin to open, 'for their own safety and wellbeing'.

Boomers worked to death mining bitcoins for their millenial overlords.

Boomers minced to create ethical burgers ('Eat a Boomer Burger - actually REDUCES the planet's carbon emissions!')

I did not speak out because I was not a boomer.



Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: Cuellar on November 14, 2019, 02:27:27 PM
Old now. Frasier on tinder. Frasier gets #cancelled. Frasier holed up in penthouse, alone, listening to old radio shows on tape, Krapp-like. Niles and Daphne, divorced, acrimonious. Niles occasionally visits. Frasier and Niles sit, in silence, drinking until Niles, barely able to stand, staggers out of the door. Frasier hires succession of delapidated prostitutes, makes them wear checked shirts and hobble around the flat with a cane until he can contain himself no longer and takes them over the sordid, fetid chair. He can never orgasm.

Alberon

Quote from: Huxleys Babkins on November 15, 2019, 05:28:14 PM
"Did you have two ugly daughters so you wouldn't be tempted to have a go on them?"

Naughty, naughty person, Huxleys.

Glebe


Quote from: BlodwynPig on November 16, 2019, 10:50:04 AM
This is your life interrupted by hackers screening a underage sex tape, Aspel trying to shut it down frantically, gasps of horror...continuity announcer "we seem to be having some technical difficulty", sirens, PAEDO CELEB trying to scarper but rugby tackled by Su Pollard.

The Sue Pollard bit did it for me.

Jockice

Almost the entirety of the How To Read CaB thread. I love you all.

Blue Jam


jenna appleseed

Quote from: buzby on November 16, 2019, 11:55:54 PM
It's slightly more complex than 'Thatcher killed our broadband' though.

Quote from: Replies From View on November 16, 2019, 11:58:05 PM
Specifically it was the semi-skimmed broadband she stole.

jenna appleseed

Quote from: grassbath on November 17, 2019, 02:03:24 AM
Christ you can't win on here, last thing I would have expected out of this thread was CaBbers telling me I should have been already liking a Stereophonics song.

Rich Uncle Skeleton


Replies From View

I wonder if she knows that she looks like Doc Brown when I squint.