Author Topic: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread  (Read 67401 times)

Small Man Big Horse

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #60 on: April 12, 2018, 05:50:16 PM »
Two women have admitted to me that I was used as a wank fantasy. To be brutally honest, I wasn't surprised!

Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #61 on: April 12, 2018, 08:01:03 PM »
It was two posts really, but that's why it worked:

Quote from: Dannyhood91
Paul Ross choking on an entire, live duck he just picked up from the side of the canal and shoved in his mouth to “try it”

Quote from: Dannyhood91
When the duck is freed from his mouth by passers by, they have to hold him back as he attempts to try it again.

Hobo With A Shit Pun

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Dex Sawash

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #63 on: April 13, 2018, 01:27:08 PM »
^beat me to it

Chairman Bodog

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #64 on: April 13, 2018, 10:49:13 PM »
Just trawled through my old doggy thread and SMBH made me smile. It wasn't a laugh because I'm jacked and tackled but it was a beauty that I owe my thank you.

img]http://i.imgur.com/y2vqjQ5.jpg[/img][/move]
[/quote]

Chairman Bodog

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #65 on: April 13, 2018, 10:49:53 PM »
What

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #66 on: April 14, 2018, 12:27:58 AM »
State of this thread. Not a single person pointed out one of my gems and now there’s dogs everywhere. Shambles.

Chairman Bodog

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #67 on: April 14, 2018, 12:30:54 AM »
State of this thread. Not a single person pointed out one of my gems and now there’s dogs everywhere. Shambles.

One of the classics

Nowhere Man

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #68 on: April 14, 2018, 06:01:31 AM »
This exchange from the access day dad thread in H.S Art.

"A second-hand PS2."

"Happy Birthday, lad!"

“Did you think that was it? Only the best for my boy! I got you some games too.”

*Son opens second present full of Atari ST games*

“Bloke at the car boot said you’d love them.”

"Pac-Man, Frogger, Joust... never heard of any of these, dad."

"Me neither, son... is Frogster the blue hedgehog one? Anyway, go on, pop 'em in your Sega cassette computer!"

Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #69 on: April 14, 2018, 03:14:45 PM »
I guffawered at this from the same thread:

Access Day Dad's children see father being buggered by a gang of bikers in the car park of a burnt out Little Chef on the A14, as they go past in the new Dad's Audi Q7.

canadagoose

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #70 on: April 14, 2018, 09:56:01 PM »
RETCH INTO A BROWN PAPER BAG YOU INEXPERIENCED EASYJET PASSENGER

biggytitbo

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #71 on: April 14, 2018, 10:37:39 PM »
Quote from: 'Replies from View'
Run a string around my balls and attach the other end to the number 16 which passes the local Primark on its way to Bolton upon Dearne.

Another classic from replies lol.

canadagoose

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #72 on: April 14, 2018, 10:51:30 PM »
Another classic from replies lol.

Replies From Poo.

(just to clarify, I still think of the latter post when I see a RFV post)

Janie Jones

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #73 on: April 15, 2018, 02:44:18 AM »
The whole of 'Lick my...' etc in HS Art. Had to wipe my IPad clean of masicated toast and Earl Grey. I think it's the use of upper case.

spamwangler

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #74 on: April 15, 2018, 09:42:27 AM »
" It's like football men who go on about "We smashed 'em mate down old Trafford". No you didn't. The BMW driving rapists on the pitch did."

Rocket Surgery

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #75 on: April 15, 2018, 10:18:37 AM »
The whole of 'Lick my...' etc in HS Art. Had to wipe my IPad clean of masicated toast and Earl Grey. I think it's the use of upper case.

Good grief, there's six pages of this?! I'm doubled over and struggling to perform basic tasks after just the first one.


Dr Syntax Head

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #76 on: April 15, 2018, 10:26:49 AM »
Good grief, there's six pages of this?! I'm doubled over and struggling to perform basic tasks after just the first one.

It's like a primal scream therapy. Of the keyboard yeah

Dannyhood91

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #77 on: April 15, 2018, 10:49:57 AM »
DannyHood91 posting in the Desolation thread

Still makes me smile sometimes.

Omg thank u hun xx

Vodka Margarine

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #78 on: April 15, 2018, 12:10:25 PM »
This isn't even something I saw recently but last night 'Memorable Fried Chicken' randomly popped into my head and I had to do that thing where you pretend you're having a coughing fit to conceal helpless spasms of laughter.

Johnny Yesno

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #79 on: April 15, 2018, 05:09:24 PM »
So much for Middle Of The Road being safe.

Glebe

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #80 on: April 15, 2018, 09:33:47 PM »
This exchange from the access day dad thread in H.S Art.

Heh... cheers mate.

Rocket Surgery

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #81 on: April 16, 2018, 12:40:43 AM »

Quote from: Absorb the anus burn on April 08, 2018, 06:02:33 PM

    So much for Middle Of The Road being safe.



That is wonderful.

Dr Syntax Head

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #82 on: April 16, 2018, 12:41:08 PM »
Quote
Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more;
Or close the wall up with our English dead.
In peace there's nothing so becomes a man
As modest stillness and humility:
But when the blast of war blows in our ears,
Then imitate the action of the tiger;
Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood,
Disguise fair nature with hard-favour'd rage;
Then lend the eye a terrible aspect;
Let pry through the portage of the head
Like the brass cannon; let the brow o'erwhelm it
As fearfully as doth a galled rock
O'erhang and jutty his confounded base,
Swill'd with the wild and wasteful ocean.
Now set the teeth and stretch the nostril wide,
Hold hard the breath and bend up every spirit
To his full height. On, on, you noblest English.
Whose blood is fet from fathers of war-proof!
Fathers that, like so many Alexanders,
Have in these parts from morn till even fought
And sheathed their swords for lack of argument:
Dishonour not your mothers; now attest
That those whom you call'd fathers did beget you.
Be copy now to men of grosser blood,
And teach them how to war. And you, good yeoman,
Whose limbs were made in England, show us here
The mettle of your pasture; let us swear
That you are worth your breeding; which I doubt not;
For there is none of you so mean and base,
That hath not noble lustre in your eyes.
I see you stand like greyhounds in the slips,
Straining upon the start. The game's afoot:
Follow your spirit, and upon this charge
Cry 'God for Harry, England, and Saint George!'     -    29

Alberon (who's avatar still makes me laugh) in the Bingo for generation Clowne thread

Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #83 on: April 16, 2018, 10:10:44 PM »
the first ever computerised blowjob pic i saw was actually a black-and-white high-res animation of a kneeling woman taking turns to suck first one mans cock and then anothers, who were standing either side of her.

it wasnt even a .GIF it was an .EXE file that put your monitor into some sort of quasi-Hercules graphics mode - look it up kids if you can be arsed - and then hand-drew it.

I cant remember how big it was but it fitted onto a 5.25" floppy disc, probably a 1.2MB one. I expect i still have it somewhere if i could find anything to read it.

1988 btw. Oooh so 30 years ago !

Post of the year so far


Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #85 on: April 17, 2018, 01:01:37 PM »
That was the same excue as Paul Ross wasnt it? When he claimed meow meow made him go to motorway service stations at 3am and suck off lorry drivers?

Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #86 on: April 17, 2018, 07:02:48 PM »
From the 'Wife bonking away or mad bint on a one?' thread

No one going to mention the fact that it is folded into 8? And the reference to “this simcard” implies the offending storage device would be included in the envelope?

Folded into 8 implies it’s been kept in a pocket before being mailed. You fold into 4 if it’s going directly into an envelope. If you’re in an office, you fold into 3 and taff an envelope from work. Also if you’re at work - you type it up and print it off to maintain anonymity (that’s what I do when I leave timewasting submissions in my company’s suggestion box). It’s also beat to fuck so unless you have a violent postman, it’s been through the wars.

But Ferris, what does that mean?

Someone dashed this note off then kept it in a pocket for some time before deciding to mail it, which implies they had second thoughts about doing it in the first place or didnt have envelopes to hand. They also intended to include an SD card with it, but forgot (or weren’t able to get whatever pictures they needed onto it so didn’t bother). They didn’t consider re-writing it to fit the lack of SD card, so they were presumably not thinking straight when mailing the letter sans SD card. They probably don’t have access to an office to nick stationery and a printer to hide their identity, so they are also probably a bit thick. The shit spelling seems to support this.

Now, all of this doesn’t necessarily mean the letter is bullshit, but it does imply that whoever sent it wasn’t very clever, wasn’t in their right mind when sending it (and tarried posting it for a while which shows they thought it was a bit morally dubious), and the sender probably doesn’t work with your wife (assuming your wife works in the kind of office that has fancy ancillaries like “a printer” and “some paper”).

Could be a bonkers neighbour out spying who’s just a bit funny in the head. That’s what my money’s on. Probably reads the daily mail and all.

Yours sincerely,

Ferriswheel “Sherlock Cumberband” Bueller, P.I.

I folded it up after I’d read it.

Probably shouldn't have laughed as much as I did but the one line debunking really tickled me.

Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #87 on: April 17, 2018, 07:49:08 PM »
That was the perfect payoff.

Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #88 on: April 17, 2018, 07:50:57 PM »
Yes enjoyed that one.

gib

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #89 on: April 17, 2018, 08:03:04 PM »
Yes.