Author Topic: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread  (Read 68841 times)

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #870 on: December 07, 2018, 02:00:21 PM »
Crumbs shall blot out the sky is fucking incredible

BlodwynPig

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #871 on: December 07, 2018, 02:05:10 PM »
I liked that one.

Glebe

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #872 on: December 07, 2018, 03:58:43 PM »
Charity shop is run by weirdos.One hasa shrill voice, and resembles Sally Hawkins channelling Una O'Connor.
Another is basically Father Bigley, big lips, blotchy face, childlike, the sort who listens to Dana.
Their leader is an emotionally manipulative Chinese woman who once claimed to have my father's phone number, but then after much bulllshitting, eventually had to own up.

Also that crazy African woman at the bus stop who once asked, "Do you know the Chinese dragon? He is the devil."

Chuckles!

non capisco

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #873 on: December 07, 2018, 04:32:44 PM »
From a Belle & Sebastian thread in Oscillations

It’s really sweet the way they let that little deaf boy do the singing.

canadagoose

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #874 on: December 07, 2018, 07:41:09 PM »
you'll need some new scales after two helpings of sandwiches you fat fucking fat fuck, cheers

pancreas

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #875 on: December 07, 2018, 09:41:27 PM »
I love it when kittens goes on the offensive. It's like being strangled with tinsel.

pancreas

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #876 on: December 07, 2018, 09:45:24 PM »
Reckon I’d whack the pig on the head with the showerhead, then slit its throat with the shattered shards of the shampoo bottle lid after I dropped it the other day, then tie it by the hind legs to the shower curtain rail. Then down the middle with the shard to open the body, flop out the guts and then spray it out with the shower. I’d flush the inedible bits down the bog, then butcher the meat on the tiled floor. Then put the cuts of meat and offal in the laundry basket to take downstairs to the fallout shelter. Reckon I’d preserve some of it by curing in salt, smoke some of it over the smouldering remains of my shed.

Twed

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #877 on: December 07, 2018, 09:47:37 PM »

Twed

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #878 on: December 07, 2018, 11:00:37 PM »
I can't listen to noughties bassline or grime on anything but a Nokia 6300 speaker, personally. Call me old fashioned but that's just how I was raised.

A really understated Top Quality Gag, I think. Like a lot of good jokes it could also just be true.

Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #879 on: December 09, 2018, 10:47:16 AM »
I like Il Divo only because I like to think that their name translates as 'The Divs'.

Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #880 on: December 09, 2018, 02:44:53 PM »
This isn't referring to a CaB post, but It's not worth putting up as a separate post , and I want to share it; last night , I put up the song " Hangout Wonderful " by Dressy Bessy on me Facebook page, and appended the message " to all my top Facebook funbundle friends, I think you're beautiful." ( not entirely serious, but not entirely messing about, I was pissed up, orbviously). A very good female friend ( a real, actual girl ! Honest !) replied to this message with the following:

" so are you, you giant cunt. "

Gosh, it didn't 'alf make me laugh.

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #881 on: December 09, 2018, 02:53:53 PM »
This isn't referring to a CaB post, but It's not worth putting up as a separate post , and I want to share it; last night , I put up the song " Hangout Wonderful " by Dressy Bessy on me Facebook page, and appended the message " to all my top Facebook funbundle friends, I think you're beautiful." ( not entirely serious, but not entirely messing about, I was pissed up, orbviously). A very good female friend ( a real, actual girl ! Honest !) replied to this message with the following:

" so are you, you giant cunt. "

Gosh, it didn't 'alf make me laugh.

This is more of an all-encompassing boast, if anything.  Could have gone in any thread.

Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #882 on: December 09, 2018, 02:58:52 PM »
I'm sorry if it comes across as boastful, but I really liked being called a giant cunt. It really amused me, and I thought it might amuse you bunch of ' erberts, too.

BlodwynPig

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #883 on: December 09, 2018, 03:36:09 PM »
I'm sorry if it comes across as boastful, but I really liked being called a giant cunt. It really amused me, and I thought it might amuse you bunch of ' erberts, too.

You probably wouldn't have the same willy butterflies if I called you a giant cunt, though.

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #884 on: December 09, 2018, 03:38:56 PM »
You probably wouldn't have the same willy butterflies if I called you a giant cunt, though.

Oof, you've got mine going though.  Bit of the old reflected whatever-it-is.  Second-hand willy butterflies.

Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #885 on: December 09, 2018, 03:49:32 PM »
" Willy butterflies " ?

BlodwynPig

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #886 on: December 09, 2018, 03:50:21 PM »
" Willy butterflies " ?

Use your (admittedly limited) imagination, glans-man.

Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #887 on: December 09, 2018, 03:54:42 PM »
Being called a giant cunt is *always* funny, doesn't matter who does the calling.

Cuellar

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #888 on: December 09, 2018, 03:57:10 PM »
What if Alan Davies did it? Don't think it would he funny then.

BlodwynPig

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #889 on: December 09, 2018, 03:58:15 PM »
Being called a giant cunt is *always* funny, doesn't matter who does the calling.

Your family wiped out by a truculent James Corden. Your girlfriend then elopes with the engorged Corden. You're fired from your job after Corden makes some phone calls. Denied even Universal Credit - your girlfriend transfers all your funds into Corden's anus.

You develop cancer after watching a Corden "funny" on youtube.

Shivering and dirty in a dank underpass near a canal, I saunter along "Hey Lisa, YOU GIANT CUNT", I say as I toss the remains of my 5 course banquet into the canal for the yellowing swans.

Twed

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #890 on: December 09, 2018, 04:00:29 PM »
James Corden used a sweater shaver on his tits and died a death of a thousand cuts, don't you worry about him
« Last Edit: December 09, 2018, 04:11:53 PM by Twed »

Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #891 on: December 09, 2018, 04:01:43 PM »
Your family wiped out by a truculent James Corden. Your girlfriend then elopes with the engorged Corden. You're fired from your job after Corden makes some phone calls. Denied even Universal Credit - your girlfriend transfers all your funds into Corden's anus.

You develop cancer after watching a Corden "funny" on youtube.

Shivering and dirty in a dank underpass near a canal, I saunter along "Hey Lisa, YOU GIANT CUNT", I say as I toss the remains of my 5 course banquet into the canal for the yellowing swans.
You see, that just made me do a big laugh. I even had a couple of todger trembles, or whatever you want to call them.

BlodwynPig

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #892 on: December 09, 2018, 04:15:18 PM »
You see, that just made me do a big laugh. I even had a couple of todger trembles, or whatever you want to call them.

willy butterflies

Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #893 on: December 09, 2018, 04:18:48 PM »
" Willy butterflies", indeed. I've never heard the like before, so I haven't.

BlodwynPig

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #894 on: December 09, 2018, 04:21:47 PM »
Flutter-pork, oh flutter-pork
Rising to the sky
Flutter-pork, oh flutter-pork
Iridescent to the eye

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #895 on: December 09, 2018, 04:24:27 PM »
Butter beans oh butter beans
Please file thee in my cock
And everywhere that Mary traipse
Will all thy sheeples flock

Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #896 on: December 10, 2018, 08:53:10 AM »
Phil_A on the later cast changes in Last of the Summer Wine:

I always had it in my head that I wanted to write a final episode for the show in which it's revealed Holmfirth is actually a kind of Prisoner village for retired comedy actors, and any attempt to escape is thwarted by a deadly fleet of tin baths on wheels.

Glebe

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #897 on: December 10, 2018, 06:56:57 PM »
Them's the rules, here's an example:


I dunno what it is but it amused me.

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #898 on: December 10, 2018, 06:58:02 PM »
I dunno what it is but it amused me.

It's AC/DC mate.  Before your time.

Glebe

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread
« Reply #899 on: December 10, 2018, 06:59:58 PM »
It's AC/DC mate.  Before your time.

Brian Johnson had yet to attain an LA tan, Angus looks well out of it.