Topic: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Crumbs shall blot out the sky is fucking incredible

[BlodwynPig]

I liked that one.

[Glebe]

Charity shop is run by weirdos.One hasa shrill voice, and resembles Sally Hawkins channelling Una O'Connor.
Another is basically Father Bigley, big lips, blotchy face, childlike, the sort who listens to Dana.
Their leader is an emotionally manipulative Chinese woman who once claimed to have my father's phone number, but then after much bulllshitting, eventually had to own up.

Also that crazy African woman at the bus stop who once asked, "Do you know the Chinese dragon? He is the devil."

Chuckles!

[non capisco]

From a Belle & Sebastian thread in Oscillations

It’s really sweet the way they let that little deaf boy do the singing.

[canadagoose]

you'll need some new scales after two helpings of sandwiches you fat fucking fat fuck, cheers

[pancreas]

I love it when kittens goes on the offensive. It's like being strangled with tinsel.

[pancreas]

Reckon I’d whack the pig on the head with the showerhead, then slit its throat with the shattered shards of the shampoo bottle lid after I dropped it the other day, then tie it by the hind legs to the shower curtain rail. Then down the middle with the shard to open the body, flop out the guts and then spray it out with the shower. I’d flush the inedible bits down the bog, then butcher the meat on the tiled floor. Then put the cuts of meat and offal in the laundry basket to take downstairs to the fallout shelter. Reckon I’d preserve some of it by curing in salt, smoke some of it over the smouldering remains of my shed.

[Twed]

[Twed]

I can't listen to noughties bassline or grime on anything but a Nokia 6300 speaker, personally. Call me old fashioned but that's just how I was raised.

A really understated Top Quality Gag, I think. Like a lot of good jokes it could also just be true.

[Special K]

I like Il Divo only because I like to think that their name translates as 'The Divs'.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

This isn't referring to a CaB post, but It's not worth putting up as a separate post , and I want to share it; last night , I put up the song " Hangout Wonderful " by Dressy Bessy on me Facebook page, and appended the message " to all my top Facebook funbundle friends, I think you're beautiful." ( not entirely serious, but not entirely messing about, I was pissed up, orbviously). A very good female friend ( a real, actual girl ! Honest !) replied to this message with the following:

" so are you, you giant cunt. "

Gosh, it didn't 'alf make me laugh.

[Replies From View]

This isn't referring to a CaB post, but It's not worth putting up as a separate post , and I want to share it; last night , I put up the song " Hangout Wonderful " by Dressy Bessy on me Facebook page, and appended the message " to all my top Facebook funbundle friends, I think you're beautiful." ( not entirely serious, but not entirely messing about, I was pissed up, orbviously). A very good female friend ( a real, actual girl ! Honest !) replied to this message with the following:

" so are you, you giant cunt. "

Gosh, it didn't 'alf make me laugh.

This is more of an all-encompassing boast, if anything.  Could have gone in any thread.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

I'm sorry if it comes across as boastful, but I really liked being called a giant cunt. It really amused me, and I thought it might amuse you bunch of ' erberts, too.

[BlodwynPig]

I'm sorry if it comes across as boastful, but I really liked being called a giant cunt. It really amused me, and I thought it might amuse you bunch of ' erberts, too.

You probably wouldn't have the same willy butterflies if I called you a giant cunt, though.

[Replies From View]

You probably wouldn't have the same willy butterflies if I called you a giant cunt, though.

Oof, you've got mine going though.  Bit of the old reflected whatever-it-is.  Second-hand willy butterflies.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

" Willy butterflies " ?

[BlodwynPig]

" Willy butterflies " ?

Use your (admittedly limited) imagination, glans-man.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Being called a giant cunt is *always* funny, doesn't matter who does the calling.

[Cuellar]

What if Alan Davies did it? Don't think it would he funny then.

[BlodwynPig]

Being called a giant cunt is *always* funny, doesn't matter who does the calling.

Your family wiped out by a truculent James Corden. Your girlfriend then elopes with the engorged Corden. You're fired from your job after Corden makes some phone calls. Denied even Universal Credit - your girlfriend transfers all your funds into Corden's anus.

You develop cancer after watching a Corden "funny" on youtube.

Shivering and dirty in a dank underpass near a canal, I saunter along "Hey Lisa, YOU GIANT CUNT", I say as I toss the remains of my 5 course banquet into the canal for the yellowing swans.

[Twed]

James Corden used a sweater shaver on his tits and died a death of a thousand cuts, don't you worry about him

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Your family wiped out by a truculent James Corden. Your girlfriend then elopes with the engorged Corden. You're fired from your job after Corden makes some phone calls. Denied even Universal Credit - your girlfriend transfers all your funds into Corden's anus.

You develop cancer after watching a Corden "funny" on youtube.

Shivering and dirty in a dank underpass near a canal, I saunter along "Hey Lisa, YOU GIANT CUNT", I say as I toss the remains of my 5 course banquet into the canal for the yellowing swans.

You see, that just made me do a big laugh. I even had a couple of todger trembles, or whatever you want to call them.

[BlodwynPig]

You see, that just made me do a big laugh. I even had a couple of todger trembles, or whatever you want to call them.

willy butterflies

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

" Willy butterflies", indeed. I've never heard the like before, so I haven't.

[BlodwynPig]

Flutter-pork, oh flutter-pork
Rising to the sky
Flutter-pork, oh flutter-pork
Iridescent to the eye

[Replies From View]

Butter beans oh butter beans
Please file thee in my cock
And everywhere that Mary traipse
Will all thy sheeples flock

[the]

Phil_A on the later cast changes in Last of the Summer Wine:

I always had it in my head that I wanted to write a final episode for the show in which it's revealed Holmfirth is actually a kind of Prisoner village for retired comedy actors, and any attempt to escape is thwarted by a deadly fleet of tin baths on wheels.

[Glebe]

Them's the rules, here's an example:

I dunno what it is but it amused me.

[Replies From View]

I dunno what it is but it amused me.

It's AC/DC mate.  Before your time.

[Glebe]

It's AC/DC mate.  Before your time.

Brian Johnson had yet to attain an LA tan, Angus looks well out of it.