The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread

[Noonling]

The massively satirical thread what noonling has very flatteringly done about me over on  H S Art, specifically the one involving lots of doctored quotes from the forum, and even more specifically, the doctored quote which culminates in the founder of Alkies Anonymous entering Jodie Comer. Laughed like a right old cunt, so I did. ( Dunno if that was his intention, maybe he meant to give me pause for thought or something, I dunno. I think Blodwyn Pig is at a similar lark, he always has me chortling away, too ).

My first time mentioned in this thread and its for something so pedestrian.

(Amusement was my intention, but thought is fine too)

[Stoneage Dinosaurs]

Jerzy Bondov's masterful take down of that fucking stupid speech by Hugh Grant the PM in 'Love Actually", on that thread in DIM. The whole post's fucking brilliant, got funny looks in the staffroom cos of LOLZ, don't give a fuck, mate.

Jerzy's been one of my favourite posters for a while now, he has a fantastic line in withering disdain, especially in the Doctor Who threads.

[canadagoose]

Seeing Hamilton was also a highlight.

Christ, if that was a highlight you're going to be fucking euphoric when you see East Kilbride.

Snorted out loud at that.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Imagine actually being Richard Curtis, though.  Never stepping foot in a kitchen without an island and fairy lights for the rest of your life.  Salad in a wooden bowl.

Occasionally he must want some fish fingers.

[St_Eddie]

...Salad in a wooden bowl.

Bet he eats kettle crisps from a little wicker bowl and all.

[Paul Calf]

From the same thread as /\/\/\

Best thing to me was probably getting laid in space

Train station lifts are not "space"

Made me snort out loud.

[St_Eddie]

...Think about all the owls flushed down the toilet after Harry Potter came out.

So, that's what the incessant distressed hooting sound, emanating from my new flat's toilet bowl is all about.  I did wonder.

Should I flush some mice down there or something?

No need.  They're still chowing down on the Stuart Little batch.

Sin Agog's final comment there; brilliant!

[Gradual Decline]

Excellent work.

[Noonling]

From my bin thread:

Imagine if the sainsbury's adverts had those production values

Turkey tossed on a dark hallway carpet, portrait mode on camera phone

Cover version of Mariah Carey song on phone held up to headset mic

sainsburys


There is no god

[Johnny Yesno]

One person's foolishness is another person's day considerably brightened. Thanks Kelvin :-)

https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,69936.msg3688092.html#msg3688092

[Kelvin]

Not my proudest mention in this thread  :)

[Johnny Yesno]

Who cares as long as you're getting the GUFFAWs?

[St_Eddie]

Had a dream the other night where I was watching a TV show involving social media superstars and siblings Jake and Logan Paul fucking each other, not in a sensual way but just like lads messing about, like they do in their YouTube videos, one was seeing how quickly he could insert, remove and reinsert a dildo into his anus, and the other one was seeing if he could put his penus into his brothers anus while there was a dildo in there. They were being cheered on by a huge crowd of enamoured teens.

One for LondonLive maybe?

[Neville Chamberlain]

Just the effort of listening to all of Paul McCartney's solo work and ranking it the greatest music ever created is a spectacular feat of human endurance.

[paruses]

In the midst of everyone deliberately not sticking to the thread title about one joke comedians and instead summarising comedians acts as a middle name:

Captain 'Shut up Wesley' Picard

Bit late in the day but also have to mention Hedgehog90's Sonic abomination. Superb.

[bgmnts]

[Sebastian Cobb]

A recent one: buzzing a mate into a block of flats I'd recently moved into and he hadn't visited before. Went out to meet him on the stairwell, heard 'his' footsteps walking up, rounded the corner and boomed a Brian Blessed style "WELCOME!!!" into the confused face of a total stranger. Actual mate turned up 5 seconds later.

[Ferris]

Madhair's "Thomas The Tanked Engine" cartoons.

https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,70489.0.html

I like that he always has a little bit of track underneath him cos he's a train, even when sidling up to other characters. A few of the lines in them really had me going.

[Pseudopath]

A few of the lines in them really had me going.

Incredible stuff. The line "Is...is this Moldova?" keeps popping into my head and making me splutter in public.

[non capisco]

From the top notch 'tiny moments that still haunt you' thread

Being too young to reach the jazz mags so flicking through a photography magazine, and then showing my mate standing next to me a picture of a nude lady. Except it wasn't my mate it was a middle-aged bloke.

[Sebastian Cobb]

lol, yes that really tickled me as well.

[The Lurker]

The tiny moments that stil haunt you thread is absolute gold. These were both posted within seconds of each other and just absolutely fucking got to me.

Googling "sperm in eye painful" on my wife's computer while she was supposed to be working from home, unaware that her laptop was remotely connected to the work network and everybody could see what was happening on her monitor in the office.

Getting off with a girl when I was about 15. For some reason I thought it would be sexy to suck her nose. With my mouth. It wasn't.

[St_Eddie]

Haha, yes!  I love the nose sucking one.  Brilliantly absurd.

[Colin Sanction]

From Oscillations, a thread about a cover version of Fairytale of New York with PC lyrics.

The best solution I have heard to the problematic 'faggot' line

You scumbag, you maggot, you taped over Taggart

[pigamus]

If there's one thing you could say about that lady its that she's got a massive set of great big tits.

[undergroundcow75]

I do love the idea of a 'set' of tits that could possibly be assembled in any kind of surprising and possibly frightening way just to try and throw you if you were a bloke. Since when did tits come in sets?  I've been out of the game for way too long, clearly.

[SteveDave]

If you can tolerate piss then your Bensons will be next

[paruses]

It's a helmet I think.


Edit:  yeah, it is.




See when he takes it off:




His head is completely changed.

This has put me in such a good mood I am going to take the dogs out for a walk.

[Chollis]

just sounds exactly like something I would've done

As adolescents, a friend and I went through some awful wacky schoolboy phase of saying obscene things in hillbilly accents (it amused us at the time).  One day, when I thought only he and I were in the house, I bounded into his living room and bellowed 'I'mma gonna fuck you, Billy Bob' in my ersatz Tennessee drawl, only to meet the withering glare of his attractive older sister.

[Ambient Sheep]

It makes perfect sense that today's UFOs look like drones, they always reflect the tech of the times.

Drone allegedly photographed at Gatwick 634 BC.