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The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread

Started by Nowhere Man, March 19, 2018, 04:03:03 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Shoulders?-Stomach!

The memory of a desolation post where a man builds his own crystal dome to wank in only for an issue with the fan blades to result in shredding him to pieces.

There's a glorious moment where he stands naked in the dome and bellows "Will you start the fans, please!!!"

Only 4Genious

pancreas

Was that Sploff? I think something goes wrong and his wife decides not to turn the fans off.

ZoyzaSorris

QuoteCan't believe it's been nearly 2,018 years since them slags watched their flocks by night all seated on the ground while the angel of the lord came down and glory shone around, it still freaks my nut out to this day.

jobotic

Quote from: Special K on December 23, 2018, 05:00:05 PM
From Oscillations, a thread about a cover version of Fairytale of New York with PC lyrics.

I can hear it now and I must admit I'm right laughing. Taped over Taggart indeed.


Dex Sawash


Lemming

Quote from: The Boston Crab on December 28, 2018, 05:43:01 PM
D&D rebirth just more performative nerd shit like wearing glasses or reading a book in public

"What's up y'all I'm your dungeon master for the night and this labyrinth is a metaphor for navigating the fascinating world of depression"

Allez dans la tombe

Gregory Torso

Madhair's wonderful Kenny Curious comics in HS Art are doing the biz right now.

Also hugely enjoyed Shoulders' "'Martin Lewis" series in the Deso thread.

All you peeps who never go into the art part of this place ought to check 'em out.

Mister Six

From "Tiny moments that still haunt you" - not a guffaw, but several minutes of recurring giggles.

Quote from: Junglist on December 24, 2018, 02:23:24 AM
Going on a first date and asking her if she'd ever eaten out of a bin. She said no, only for me to reply I had.

I've never eaten out of a bin.


popcorn

Once a girl dropped me off at my horrible flat and I said "Well, I suppose I'll head on back to my hellhole." She didn't respond to that but I thought I'd push my luck and said "Wanna see my hellhole?" She said no.

kngen

Johnny YesNo's fantastically well-observed picture caption in I Don't Know Why I Bought This Painting...

Keep going back to it, and laughing a lot every time.


gib

just looked at it again and the fuckin look on the doctor's face floored me

From the Thing from the past wot you remember from your childhood thread

Quote from: Cold Meat Platter on December 31, 2018, 06:57:39 PM
Watching C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate.

kngen

Quote from: gib on December 31, 2018, 11:48:35 PM
just looked at it again and the fuckin look on the doctor's face floored me


'*sigh*... this fuckin' guy ...'

St_Eddie

Quote from: biggytitbo on January 02, 2019, 01:41:51 PM
Women find nothing sexier than when you shove a baby chimp feet first into a threshing machine. They love that kind of old fashioned romance.

SteveDave

Quote from: non capisco on January 01, 2019, 09:58:34 PM
I'm still slightly bewildered as to why I seem to have all the time in the world for 'Do The Hucklebuck' by Coast To Coast, one of a rash of late 70s/early 80s rock 'n' roll throwbacks. It's clearly no better or worse than similar retro twaddle of its era like Darts, Rocky Sharpe and The Replays or the original incarnation of Tight Fit before it was a Tarzan man and two lasses. I think the main source of appeal is Coast To Coast's faintly bizarre singer who looks like a cross between a waxwork model of Arnold Rothstein from 'Boardwalk Empire' and a young Swiss Toni. He looks like someone living out the effects of some kind of curse, bargaining with the devil to become a pop star but then finding out he has to promote doing the hucklebuck in a never ending series of early 1981 timelines over and over again, that's why he looks pale and shellshocked, still hearing Satan's cruel laughter in every chuckling saxophone honk.


"Doing the hucklebuck is a lot like making love to a beautiful woman. Also please help me."

Wriggle like a snake, waddle like a duck, that's what you do when you are damned for all eternity.

^ Pre-emptive Buzby: That bloke isn't even the person who sings on the single version.

Chollis

Quote from: kngen on December 31, 2018, 08:28:03 PM
Johnny YesNo's fantastically well-observed picture caption in I Don't Know Why I Bought This Painting...

Keep going back to it, and laughing a lot every time.

Did a proper laugh out loud at Black Ship's Christopher Eccleston too. Uncanny.

Quote from: SteveDave on January 02, 2019, 04:47:50 PM


I know what happened to him.  A year after the Hucklebuck in 1981, he donned a pair of shades and sang Living on the Ceiling.

Quote from: Steve Lampkins on January 02, 2019, 09:01:02 PM
Well one example is lecherous blokes in India, when I was in India in April before my wedding there was a bloke stood behind my wife trying to touch her ass, but he didn't see me as we were looking at wedding sarees for her. Then when he did touch her, she made a scene and I pummelled the fuck out of him on the shop floor as he lay there unconscious with his mangled face all over the place. I just couldn't control myself. The rage I had taken so long to calm down. I would have killed the cunt if I was left alone for any longer, thankfully one of his broken teeth embedded itself into my skin and I knew it was time to stop.

My wife and everyone was completely distraught at what I had just done, and they said it was completely disproportional to what had happened. But the way I see it, is this lecherous cunt thought he could get away with touching MY wife without any consequences.  Now the fucker will never be able to smile again as his cunting lips are torn for good.
Quote from: St_Eddie on January 02, 2019, 09:16:58 PM
Legend Gary decks his doppelgänger in India.
Quote from: bgmnts on January 02, 2019, 09:35:03 PM
Legend Gurdeep

Quote from: Urinal Cake on January 03, 2019, 09:23:50 AM
The largest two populations-India and China were historically sustained primarily by vegetarianism. The Indians used lentils and the Chinese used tofu for their protein.

Quote from: The Boston Crab on January 03, 2019, 09:28:11 AM
Yeah and they were about four foot tall and lived in houses made of dogshit

Norton Canes

Quote from: touchingcloth on January 06, 2019, 06:03:34 PM
Since turning 30, I've find myself a fair bit more in agreement with some ideas than the younger me could ever have contemplated, such as supply-side economics, low (perhaps even zero) out of work benefits, and a guaranteed homeland for the Aryan race


Chollis on the 'Obvious things..' thread:

"I didn't even know Oral B made a toothpaste!"

Two in one day.

Maurice Yeatman in 'Oft- forgotten gems from the Mrs. Brown's Boys canon':

"He's an absolute tit in knickers."

ZoyzaSorris

Yeah I thought that phrase had a certain je ne sais quoi too.

PlanktonSideburns


ZoyzaSorris

The orgy thread is a mine of entertainment but some early posts from twed really inflamed my funny bone for some reason.

Quote"You're half of the flesh and blood that makes me whole"

Sing it directly into a man's hairy ass.

Or just try to start a conga line. Imagine them telling you off for trying to conga, when the alternative is double vaginal double anal with strangers.

Stoneage Dinosaurs

Over a year ago this one, but a Phil_A post about a particularly poignant death scene in a Doctor Who novel:

Quote from: Phil_A on November 20, 2017, 11:07:34 PM
Behold the touching death scene of "Dave", a character whose demise informs the future storylines of X number of books.

"Dave's eyes flickered open for one last time and he saw the rockets on the base of the Planet Hopper fire into life. What a view! he thought, and then died as the flames from the engines reached the bus which then exploded."

This isn't supposed to be funny in case you were wondering, it's intended to tragic and moving. Needless to there were tears in my eyes when I read that bit, but not from sadness. But really, imagine actually writing that, putting the actual words together to form that paragraph and then sitting back and thinking "Yep, nailed it."