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March 28, 2024, 11:15:51 AM

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Nespresso. Mate

Started by madhair60, March 19, 2018, 09:26:58 AM

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Buelligan


The literal funeral of Renato Bialetti (I am not even joking), try that with an Aeropress hipster scum

Norton Canes

Quote from: Dr Syntax Head on March 19, 2018, 10:09:47 AM
But does it make you attractive to the professional yuppy woman next door?

Feasibly. The Aeropress is basically an innuendo magnet as you will discover if you use it at work, thrusting down on your big piston while the office saucy types make all kinds of lewd comments.

The only thing I would say is don't use an Aeropress if you are of a nervous disposition. You have to plunge very firmly (Ooh, pardon!) and it does sometimes feel like the mug is going to give way and shoot across the table (Missus!). Also, I always make sure to do the pressing as soon as I've added the water because otherwise the filter paper is wet for longer and is therefore more likely to rupture, meaning hot liquid will suddenly spurt from the end (Oh FFS). 

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: madhair60 on March 19, 2018, 09:35:00 AM
My mum's got special bags for holding individual sandwiches that you can then put in the toaster for easy toasties.

Unless she gives them pride of place on the kitchen counter then that's not filling the ostentatious part for me.

Paul Calf

Quote from: Norton Canes on March 19, 2018, 10:31:11 AM
Also, I always make sure to do the pressing as soon as I've added the water because otherwise the filter paper is wet for longer and is therefore more likely to rupture, meaning hot liquid will suddenly spurt from the end (Oh FFS). 

Prepare to have your mind blown.

Norton Canes


Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Paul Calf on March 19, 2018, 11:19:58 AM
Prepare to have your mind blown.

I do this, although I would warn about 'burping' the excess air out of the plunger, otherwise it can slip and spray hot coffee all over the kitchen and up your colleagues arm.

jake thunder

Aeropress: use the inverted (upside down) method. Google it.

Of course Aeropress coffee is nothing like proper machine espresso. Can't believe anyone thinks it is.


Buelligan

I don't think anyone really does, do they?  I think (maybe) quite a few monkeys like the other monkeys noticing and commenting on their cutting edge innovative monkey lifestyle accessories. 

I secretly (not so secretly) believe that Brits and Americans are somewhat in awe of continental coffee culture, so they keep trying to find a better way (so's they can claim it for their own).  I think they should just understand, British and Irish know tea, French and Italians know coffee, Americans kno fuck all.  Bit racist but sometimes, you have to.

itsfredtitmus

Quote from: madhair60 on March 19, 2018, 09:35:00 AM
My mum's got special bags for holding individual sandwiches that you can then put in the toaster for easy toasties.
theyre alright them like have to make the cheese really thin for it to melt though

Norton Canes

Quote from: Buelligan on March 19, 2018, 12:00:31 PM
I don't think anyone really does, do they? I think (maybe) quite a few monkeys like the other monkeys noticing and commenting on their cutting edge innovative monkey lifestyle accessories

I just want a quick, clean and convenient way to make decent filter coffee. Aeropress does the job.

KennyMonster

Cheap Tesco Bodum rip off.

I've have some Bialettis too, they gather good dust.

Buelligan

Quote from: Norton Canes on March 19, 2018, 12:09:35 PM
I just want a quick, clean and convenient way to make decent filter coffee. Aeropress does the job.

Tell yourself that if it makes you feel better.  Don't pretend you haven't spent some little time in front of a large mirror, handling your Aeropress and admiring your action from the corner of your eye.  Everyone thinks about that every time they see someone with one.  I'm just being honest.

Dex Sawash

I bought an aeropress after one of the other coffee threads. Makes decent cup but too much faffing around with procedures. Wife bought me a keurig 10 years ago despite my protests. It makes worse coffee with no effort at all (only buy OneCups which have greatly reduced level of environmental nightmare but still bad and 30 cents a pod)

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: KennyMonster on March 19, 2018, 12:10:29 PM
Cheap Tesco Bodum rip off.


This has been my old faithful for years (after I broke my actual bodum), but when work moved to an office without a bean to cup machine I decided to get an aeropress as I thought a cafetiere might break. Now I'm used to the aeropress I find the cafetiere less refined and bitter.

It puts be off, I should be having better coffee at the weekends, for a treat, but I'm not. I should buy another aeropress really, but I just bought some sweetcorn forks and am limiting my kitchen purchases.

Buelligan

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on March 19, 2018, 12:58:54 PM
I just bought some sweetcorn forks and am limiting my kitchen purchases.

Comedy masterstroke.  karms.

shiftwork2

Nespresso has a cunting showroom for its machines and its appealingly colour-coded thimbles of coffee.  A showroom.  It's like we've evolved too far as a species, but did it wrong.  Satan is taking notes.  The coffee is slop and arguably worse than instant.

Aeropress chat then.  Best results are obtained by adding the water and pushing the plunger in just a few mm to create the seal.  This allows the coffee to retain the hot water for a bit longer than the recommended time.  After 20 seconds or so I plunge.  You know when you've ballsed up as there's little resistance.  There should be some real work involved getting it through.  The coffee is good but it's the cleanliness that has kept me using it.  Wrapping the little hockey puck of compressed coffee in kitchen towel and chucking it is a pleasure in itself.

Dr Syntax Head

Proof that aeropress makes you bald. I'll stick to my jars of instant thank you.


Blue Jam

Quote from: madhair60 on March 19, 2018, 09:26:58 AM
This isn't Coffee Club for Wankers. But it is, isn't it?

Yes:

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2007/nov/26/drink.comment

QuoteThe cover is a black-and-white photo of official "Nespresso ambassador" George Clooney sitting at a table with a couple of coffee pods on it. They're tastefully out of focus, so you don't notice them at first. But they're still there.

Sack that off mate, it sounds sinister.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: shiftwork2 on March 19, 2018, 01:11:28 PM
Nespresso has a cunting showroom for its machines and its appealingly colour-coded thimbles of coffee.  A showroom.  It's like we've evolved too far as a species, but did it wrong.  Satan is taking notes.  The coffee is slop and arguably worse than instant.



It's the sort of bright and easy thing the stupid and pampered Eloi would have.

Morlocks would have instant.

Blue Jam

I'm really glad I don't like coffee, don't need a cup in the morning, never have the urge to go to buy an overpriced cup from a franchised coffee outlet, and never have to think about coffee pods*.

I have however considered getting a Soda Stream to reduce the cost of my Diet Coke addiction... but it sounds like more of a faff than just buying bottles from the shop round the corner. It was probably much easier in the 1980s.

*Actually, I do sometimes pick them up for Mr Jam, but he has a Lavazza machine and is therefore not evil nor is he a member of coffee club for wankers

bgmnts

I have a dolce gusto machine. It makes me feel pretty gross using it.

Buelligan

I'm not surprised, light some incense or a scented candle.

Paul Calf

Quote from: Buelligan on March 19, 2018, 12:00:31 PM
I don't think anyone really does, do they?  I think (maybe) quite a few monkeys like the other monkeys noticing and commenting on their cutting edge innovative monkey lifestyle accessories. 

I secretly (not so secretly) believe that Brits and Americans are somewhat in awe of continental coffee culture, so they keep trying to find a better way (so's they can claim it for their own).  I think they should just understand, British and Irish know tea, French and Italians know coffee, Americans kno fuck all.  Bit racist but sometimes, you have to.

France and Italy are ridden with the belief that - as with everything gastronomic - they wrote the book so they don't have to think about it any more. That's why they're still doing everything Escoffier, Gault, Gayot and Millau told them to do, and will be doing it until the world explodes.

The world's best restaurants are more likely to be in New York, Barcelona, Rio de Janeiro or Tokyo than Paris, Marseille, Rome or Milan these days.

Buelligan

Likely on the basis of what?  Had one of France's top 12 chefs eat with us the other night, he just used his mouth like anyone else.  Bit disappointed.

Replies From View

Quote from: Cuellar on March 19, 2018, 09:38:44 AM
Nespressos are rubbish. Partner tried buying some pods for my dad as a present and the insane hoops you have to jump through just to give them money. Trying to make it all exclusive. Piss off.

Sega's version is so much better, in my opinion.  You collect rings instead of jumping through pipes.

KennyMonster

Quote from: Blue Jam on March 19, 2018, 01:23:20 PM
I'm really glad I don't like coffee, don't need a cup in the morning, never have the urge to go to buy an overpriced cup from a franchised coffee outlet, and never have to think about coffee pods*.

I have however considered getting a Soda Stream to reduce the cost of my Diet Coke addiction... but it sounds like more of a faff than just buying bottles from the shop round the corner. It was probably much easier in the 1980s.

*Actually, I do sometimes pick them up for Mr Jam, but he has a Lavazza machine and is therefore not evil nor is he a member of coffee club for wankers

Lavassa? Sub Mellow Birds shite, even worse than Starbucks.

JesusAndYourBush

Quote from: madhair60 on March 19, 2018, 09:26:58 AM
Missus has Nespresso machine.

Are they the ones where the capsules have some sort of chip in then so the machine won't work with any other-brand capsules.  Or am I thinking of another make?

Quote from: shiftwork2 on March 19, 2018, 01:11:28 PM
Nespresso has a cunting showroom for its machines and its appealingly colour-coded thimbles of coffee.  A showroom.  It's like we've evolved too far as a species, but did it wrong.  Satan is taking notes.  The coffee is slop and arguably worse than instant.


We have a Nespresso shop in our town, in my mind it's filled the gap for buying christmas/birthday presents for guys and also gives them a shop to go in and have a browse whilst the Missus is in Cos now all the record and book shops are gone (and Maplins).

Buelligan


RenegadeScrew

Quote from: madhair60 on March 19, 2018, 09:26:58 AM
Missus has Nespresso machine. Yeah it's quite nice. Ran out of Nespresso. Went to Nespresso shop to get Nespresso. Yeah ten Nespresso please. Certainly sir may I take your name and address? Um no mate it's coffee. Certainly, name and address please. Mate. This isn't Coffee Club for Wankers. But it is, isn't it?

Sacking that off and buying a proper espresso maker I reckon. Rustle up the cash. Name and address please. Completely unacceptable.

Utterly spot on.  It is quite good for what it is but it doesn't compare with real coffee.  It is amazing that businesses like this (Apple to an extent and some others) have started building business models based on making it more difficult to get the product.  The exclusivity must make people think it is actually good.

There must be people in small towns who need to get it delivered or drive to the nearest big town.  Or there are people desperately waiting for a nespresso store to open nearby.