Tip jar

If you like CaB and wish to support it, you can use PayPal or KoFi. Thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the site - Neil.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Support CaB

Recent

Welcome to Cook'd and Bomb'd. Please login or sign up.

March 28, 2024, 03:44:07 PM

Login with username, password and session length

How to tell a secret brothel from the outside.

Started by Icehaven, March 28, 2018, 06:55:34 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Icehaven

A few days ago as I was getting back from the shops, a man got out of his car further down the road and walked up my garden path just I was just unlocking my door, saying 'Excuse me, excuse me...'' I turned, by which time he was almost at the door too, and he stopped, just stood there for a few moments muttering something like ''Sorry, thought you were someone else, you look alike...'', then turned and almost ran back to his car and drove off. I got the reg, as it seemed mighty odd, and later on I put a brief post about it on my local area fb page, as we get a lot of stuff like thieves going through bins, door to door scammers and so on so I just wondered if anyone else had had anything similar happen.
A bit later on a woman added a comment to my post to say she'd PM'd me, and this was the message

QuoteHello Icehaven, I have a possible explanation of mistaken identity. Many years ago I too lived on XXXX Rd and it was about 5 years before I realised there was an incredibly discreet high class brothel on the street, and only because a respectable looking man knocked on our door in error. A bit later the police started a discreet watch on it, presumably with the aim of finding out who was living off the earnings but we residents weren't aware of any outcome. Shortly before we moved there was an incident in which a client had a heart attack 'on the job' and was moved on to the pavement to avoid family distress. The brothel closed those premises and I believe relocated to the other end of the road*. As far as I know it could still be there. Maybe your strange man wasn't sure which house to go to.

*Which is where I live.

So now I'm intrigued, if that is what's going on, as to which house it is. I've not noticed any red lights or anything. I thought about getting a male friend to pose as a customer and ask door-to-door but I'm not sure any of them would be up for it, so to speak. Anyone more experienced in these things know the tell-tale signs (other than random screams in the night and Wayne Rooney puking in the gutter outside)?

Steven

Some of them have a signal somewhere outside to tell punters 'in the know' whether they're open for business or not. Usually something innocuous like a traffic cone or a street lamp turned on. Something probably hard to spot unless you check each house day-in-day-out, other than a group of birds in fur coats and black leggings all huffing fags outside one particular establishment of a night.

Zetetic

Google the road name and various implausible euphemisms like 'club', 'massage' and 'gentleman'.

RoadMaintenanceTycoon


Steven

Quote from: Zetetic on March 28, 2018, 07:07:37 PM
Google the road name and various implausible euphemisms like 'club', 'massage' and 'gentleman'.

Or failing that, pull a 'Kinga' and go out in the road and frig yourself with a wine bottle, and see who comes out and offers you their business card.

biggytitbo

There used to be a massage parlour opposite the Morrisons in Kirkstall that was apparently a brothel. Apparently.



Danger Man

QuoteMany years ago I too lived on XXXX Rd

Most of the houses on Fuck Rd are likely to be brothels.

Sebastian Cobb

One of my mates decided his neighbour in the tenement he lived in was a prostitute. He based this entirely on once finding a doddery old man in the downstairs lobby and the fact a reddish light could be seen from her front door.

I reckoned this wasn't enough evidence really, especially considering he'd met her at some shared bbq thing everyone in the block went to and you'd probably not do that if you were using it as a knocking shop. Also he said he'd never heard any noise or people coming and going regularly. But then he's a young earth creationist so it's not like he's big into changing his mind in the face of evidence to the contrary.


Icehaven

#11
Quote from: Danger Man on March 28, 2018, 07:51:23 PM
Most of the houses on Fuck Rd are likely to be brothels.

Well I actually live on Shit Rd., and she did say it was a high-class joint.


doppelkorn

Quote from: Steven on March 28, 2018, 07:18:39 PM
Or failing that, pull a 'Kinga' and go out in the road and frig yourself with a wine bottle, and see who comes out and offers you their business card.

Did she turn pro then in the end?


Small Man Big Horse

There's two massage parlours on the street I live on, both about a three minute walk from my door. So obviously I googled them and the first was legit, but the second definitely offers handjobs. The reviews weren't positive however, with the service apparently provided with a grimace and a complete lack of care, so I cancelled my booking immediately / perve at the women every time I walk past / am looking forward to visiting soon, etc, etc.

Edit: Another quick google has revealed there's a massage shop on kilburn high road which also offers hand relief. Christ. Seems like there's women giving handjobs all over the bloody place.

king_tubby

Quote from: biggytitbo on March 28, 2018, 07:34:09 PM
There used to be a massage parlour opposite the Morrisons in Kirkstall that was apparently a brothel. Apparently.

Gemini Sauna. No apparently about it. And there was Monique's further down Kirkstall Rd.

Gemini always amused me. Cos you had that row of businesses which was bridal shop, organic restaurant, antiquarian book shop, home brew shop, florist, rub and tug.


thraxx

Stand outside any building, bang on it's windows with your fists and bellow this magic chant 800 times:

Sluts in there,
Jizz in their hair,
Or in their flaps,
Or their derriere.

Blokes getting spanked,
Lasses getting wanked,
Tits getting groped,
And cocks getting yanked.


The magic chant will soon cause the nature of the business inside to reveal its true nature.





jobotic

#20
Quote from: king_tubby on March 28, 2018, 08:36:52 PM
Gemini Sauna. No apparently about it. And there was Monique's further down Kirkstall Rd.

Gemini always amused me. Cos you had that row of businesses which was bridal shop, organic restaurant, antiquarian book shop, home brew shop, florist, rub and tug.

I read that as Monique's father. Could picture him standing just past the last shop, offering hand jobs.

You don't need to know my name mate. Let's just say I'm Monique's father, alright? Now stick it me hand, I ain't got all day.

Zero Gravitas

I hear they tend to tone it down in modern times but this is pretty representative: https://i.imgur.com/0AYtU0U.jpg

Oops! Wrong Planet

Not new to most of us here I guess, but https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gropecunt_Lane

When I was a kid I think any house whose curtains were permanently drawn was supposed to be a brothel. And I think I've mentioned before the corner shop that had a brothel above it. The secret pass was to ask the shopkeeper for a packet of Polo mints... ("Bollocks" "It's true, I swear" etc)

Zero Gravitas

What depravity would you need to request to get a packet of polos?

Captain Z

There's a prostitute that works around my street, a little rough but seems decent enough. When we happen to pass we'll now acknowledge each other with an 'alright', in a way that implies a mutual 'I know what you do/I know you know what I do/and that's fine'. A few months ago she was hanging around just as I was getting home and as soon as I parked the car she started walking over. It took me a couple of seconds to work out what was happening but luckily by the time she opened the passenger door I was ready to politely say 'I don't think it's me you're waiting for', and she looked a bit mortified and was very apologetic.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Oops! Wrong Planet on March 28, 2018, 10:14:32 PM
Not new to most of us here I guess, but https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gropecunt_Lane

When I was a kid I think any house whose curtains were permanently drawn was supposed to be a brothel.

More likely just students/20somethings.

manticore

In 1982 I was taken on a tour of Chapeltown, Leeds by the local man-about-town, and he pointed out houses with dolls displayed in the windows and said they were brothels. There were quite a few of them.

I doubt this of any help to you.

Danger Man

Quote from: manticore on March 28, 2018, 10:45:05 PMChapeltown, Leeds

Many years ago I was a postman in Chapeltown. I don't have any funny stories about delivering mail to brothels but one of the guys I worked with was murdered for 'looking at somebody in a funny way'.

I've never really liked Leeds.

kalowski

Quote from: manticore on March 28, 2018, 10:45:05 PM
In 1982 I was taken on a tour of Chapeltown, Leeds by the local man-about-town, and he pointed out houses with dolls displayed in the windows and said they were brothels. There were quite a few of them.

I doubt this of any help to you.
It is to me, I'm going to chapletown tomorrow. *Wink*