How to tell a secret brothel from the outside.

[Better Midlands]

Industrial estate?  They're more often on the boundaries between shops and suburbs, in my experience.

It's not unusual, swinger's clubs too.

[Sebastian Cobb]

A tyre fitters or a Plumb Centre are far less likely to dob you in than some curtain-twitchers tbf.

[kalowski]

More desolation

£70 for 30mins ol6 close to Ashton town centre

Comms done by txt and a quick phone call when I arrived
Having read the reviews on here about this girl I decided to see for myself
Arrived at hers and was given her flat number. Nice flat plenty of parking. Was let in and greeted by her. She was just covering herself with a towel as she had just got out of the shower.was shown to the bedroom but the door to the next bedroom was open and there was another girl sat on the bed just staring at me. I did find it a bit off putting.
In the bedroom and paperwork done no shower offered so stripped off and she dropped the towel. Not bad looking nice tits big brown nips and a fat arse. Asked her if she was pregnant and she just laughed that's a no then I said and she just laughed again. In my opinion she isn't pregnant just a bit off a belly on her but I could be wrong.
As for her service no kissing no owo no playing with her pussy so on with the condom and she proceeded to give me a poor bj/hj whilst digging her nails into my ballsack. Sex was boring and unenthusiastic in mish and doggy.
Bit of a chat while dressing she said she had finished for the night and another girl was starting. Possibly the girl in the next room. She said bye then walked out of the room leaving me to put my shoes on and started arguing with the girl in the other room. I just let myself out.

The worst punt I've ever had

[kalowski]

I first discovered Penny a good 10-15 years ago back when I was intrigued by trans but both too scared and too poor to go and see one. I was spellbound by her (then) detailed explanation as to how she is a specialist in breaking guys in and how most others don't know what they're doing and so the guy doesn't have a mind-blowing experience. Plus, she looked very hot in her pics. Slim and with a kind of beehivey hair do.

Fast forward to 2016 and, after many positive reviews, I finally decide to take the plunge. When she answered the door I knew I was in trouble. The girl standing in front of me didn't so much look like Penny but looked like she ate Penny. She was big. And I'm not talking about inside her knickers. When I rechecked her profile after our session I could see how some of her pics were the same from when I first saw her and some were taken from flattering angles to hide the chub.

It's not that I don't appreciate curvy women, I do, it's just that on a woman the fat is distributed over her hips and arse so she still maintains a womanly figure but on a man (and Penny is a TV not a TS - hence she is a man) the fat just goes on the gut. Like a trucker. So here was this 5' 10-ish person with a wider chest than me (and I'm 42") a belly Big Daddy would be proud of and, in comparison, skinny legs.

The other glaring problem was that she is a lot older than she made out and several of her pics were still from a decade earlier. She's also not as feminine as her pics made out. Very thick and cakey foundation, too. She was pleasant enough if going through the motions and not really interested. We went into a tastefully-decorated bedroom, I gave her £100 that I was immediately regretting, and we got down to it.

Now, Penny advertised at the time that she has real boobs but what she failed to mention is that this is because she probably likes to consume her bodyweight in pizza and the occasional small child. She had moobs, not boobs, and whilst she was quick to pull them out of her basque/corset I was horrified to be gazing at man nipples. And then I was distraught when she  pushed my head down, wanting me to suck her man nipples.

We kiss and fondle and I wonder what I'll say in my acceptance speech for winning Best Performance by a Male Actor but beyond light groping she wasn't doing anything or showing interest. Considering she prized herself on being a champion top, I found her indifference confusing. I expected her to be taking the lead, showing me how horny she was, teasing me with hints of upcoming anal ecstasy. I played with her averagely-endowed cock and after several more minutes of stasis, asked her to fuck me. Ding, ding! Here comes the main attraction!

She duly did but no special technique to break guys in, no magic touch, no spellbinding, life-changing experience like she described in her profile. She does me doggy and then on my back, both of which were 'okay' but not 'good'. Either out of boredom or because she lost her erection, she gets off and sits on the bed and instructs me to wank off, saying it turns her on. I did, she fake-cooed throughout, I squeezed one out, and that was that. £100 (a month's disposable income!) for a date with a gorgeous feminine top yet having experienced the biggest Trade Descriptions Act breach of the modern era.

This review is almost a negative because of the misrepresentation of her photos, description and of calling herself a TS.
However she gets a neutral because she was pleasant and did as requested

[BlodwynPig]

Well i tried.

[pancreas]

^^ karm for finding (or writing) that, however it came to pass.

[kalowski]

^^ karm for finding (or writing) that, however it came to pass.

God I wish I could invent something like that. No, sadly, I think it is a real situation.

[kalowski]

In 20 years of punting I've never had an experience Like this. Had some really good punts with polish, romanian and hungarian girls. From viva street aftet being initially skeptical I'd never seen this photo before and fancying a quick cheap in and out punt, I arranged to meet her. Sends the postcode then ring to get the house number while you're there. She's one of the Eastern European girls that pops up in Bolton, then Blackburn, who although isn't the girl in the photo, I had seen her before in Bolton. As she was one of the few poor punts I'd had I half thought about making excuses but, once you're there the little brain always seems to rule the big brain. Paid her the money, then she goes away and makes a phone call, as I've seen some of them do before, then she starts making the strangest noises - like a cross between a bark and a siren but really loud. I follow her downstairs, thankfully I hadn't got undressed, and she goes into the street, continuing to make these bizarre noises. Cue me to leave, without the money and without a service as I don't want any attention or accusations. Really really bizarre. Maybe a cue to pack this game in altogether.

[kalowski]

What gets me with all these stories is the sad mental health of the women, and the desperate way these moaning blokes are simultaneously disgusted and determined to "complete".
Maybe I shouldn't post any more of these.

The general rule is if it smells like a rat it usually is a rat. The other general rule is add 10 years onto stayed age and at least 2 dress sizes. Finally no face pic no meet. I should know better. This was horrible. Rancid is probably the best description.

I dont know what posessed me. Found the AW profile, fancied a bigger girl with big tits. Text comms were really good but I started to smell a rat when she said she was a size 14 and was I was ok with that. Texted me again almost immediately before I had chance to reply. She seemed to come across as needy and insecure about something which would make sense later.

Location was Plungington Road. Given house number. Arrived. Went in........what a fucking shit hole. Ive been in some cess pits in my time but this was truly appalling. Then emerging from the shadows she hoved into view.

If ever there was a candidate for Cueballs cage this was it. 33 my arse. Add 15 years. Size 14 ? Fuck off. 18 at least. Tits like roofers nail bags. She mumbled something about a previous punter turning up, saying she was horrible and legging it. Lucky him I thought. She seemed uttetly dispondent bordering on manic depression. I was so terrified I couldnt for the life of me persuade my legs to move me in the direction of the door.

I think I must have been smacked up with Rohipnol or something because the next thing I remember is Im in the bedroom with my trolleys round my ankles, socks sticking to the carpet holding my coat trying to find somewhere to hang it. I noticed a broken wardrove door propped avainst the wall and gingerly hung it on the broken hinge. Meanwhile the Creature from the Black Latrine mooned around mumbling apologies about the surroundings.

Somehow, and I still cant work out how it happened, my cock ended up in her mouth. To be fair she gave a decent blowy but I couldnt help wondering when she last showered or washed her hair. She was also unpleasantly clammy and thoroughly despondant throughout the entire diabolical 10 minutes it took to bring me off. She did however swallow the lot despite having a face like a wet kipper (her claminess reminded me somewhat of a dead Cod on a fishmongers slab). There was also an odour. Not strong but not pleasant.

I soon discovered the cause of my hygiene concerns. The bathroom looked like it had been carpet bombed by the Luftwaffe and whoever had used the shower last had clearly had an issue with flooding and soap suds. However even this couldnt hide the large mould colony that seemed to be slowly working its way up the wall in a rampant and somewhat disturbing manner. It was at thia point I realised my socks were covered in what resembled half a poubd of broken Rich Tea biscuits. At this point I washed my poor owd fella under the cold water tap and decided not to touch the towrls as I wasnt sure if my Tetanus jabs were up to date.

I quickly made my exit and wandered back to my car shaking my head in disgust. How did I go through with it ? How the fuck did I get aroused enough to cum ?

Would I return ? Do you have to ask ? An absolute horror show.

£60. 10 minutes at best.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Almost well written though aren't they. They clearly have some aspirations of creative writing.

[Pingers]

'City Sauna', a not-so-secret brothel in Sheffield, memorably has the sign "Use Rear Entrance" on the front. It doesn't give a price for that

[BlodwynPig]

Almost well written though aren't they. They clearly have some aspirations of creative writing.

I was listening to this whilst reading it and, well, its hard to describe the feelings I had....an aching sadness underscored by an otherworldly ecstasy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPrFf2na1TY

[Ferris]

What gets me with all these stories is the sad mental health of the women, and the desperate way these moaning blokes are simultaneously disgusted and determined to "complete".
Maybe I shouldn't post any more of these.

These are extra strength deso. Christ, these poor people. Where are these coming from?

[ToneLa]

These are extra strength deso. Christ, these poor people. Where are these coming from?

[Rev+]

Location was Plungington Road

Top notch.

[Twed]

Next time I am forced to hear that Adele "hello from the outside" caterwauling, I will pretend it's her singing it to a brothel.

[flotemysost]

These reviews are compellingly bleak, but yeah it's weird how of them make a stab at a sort of 'jaunty pub anecdote meets best man's speech' tone.

That closing sentence though, Christ:

Maybe a cue to pack this game in altogether.

My secret brothel story: I did an internship with a theatre company in a beautiful old building just off Oxford Street one summer, and was soon left with little doubt about the nature of the business being run from the floor above us - got asked at reception on my first day if I was there for the 'modelling agency', steady stream of blokes in suits going up and down the stairs (mainly around lunchtime), and the women who worked on that floor, with whom we shared a kitchen (so would chat with if we were in there at the same time) never actually talked about what it was they were doing up there, but they always just seemed to be hanging around in dressing gowns.

Can't find any mention of it on PunterNet, mind.

[ToneLa]

Betjeman considers rewrite

Horrible experience. Daylight robbery.
She took my money and like a leopard changed her spots.

OWO involved wiping my beast every 8 seconds ignoring my pangs of pain.
Sex was nasty with her on her back and looking away.

I am starting to fall out of love with Independent Babes but I will continue to visit this place a few more times.
The girls are ancient and been there for years.
The recruitment policy stopped years ago and when girls are recruited they seem to be East European girls who work on weekends who rip off the punters bcos there is no maids.

The website and Rota is outdated by years.

Please please inject some Life & Class & Beauty & Va Va Voom back to IBs.

This place needs to get back as the No 1 parlour in Slough.

Went for a schoolgirl scenario and all was going well (administered some light slaps, good spanking session, nice covered blowjob)before I ordered her to go doggy in order to have a punishment fuck.

Unfortunately there was a real stench emanating from downstairs which really put me off and which I find unacceptable in a business where genitalia are a key feature (same goes for punters). Finished off with a handjob but given the hygiene issues I cannot recommend and will not return. Its a shame as she is otherwise a good service provider and I hope it was just an "off" moment which I guess can happen.

It is nice to read a review from a man who has olfactory standards

Sad note:

Your search - site:punternet.com "deformed" - did not match any documents.

[gib]

Top notch.

Yes indeed.

[Bennett Brauer]

Plungington Road could be anywhere.

Can we start criminalising the punters now please?

[Twit 2]

Almost well written though aren't they. They clearly have some aspirations of creative writing.

'Smacked up on Rohipnol' / 'Mooned around'. A lot of that review had the cadence of a comedy fan's writing, could be one of the dirty bollocks on here.

[MidnightShambler]

I was in Budapest in September and staying in quite a nice apartment on Kiraly Utca, which has got loads of bars on it. When I came home, absolutely twatted, on the second night I passed a stupefyingly gorgeous blonde on the stairwell and we said hi, I thought no more about it and got back to my apartment. Went out for a smoke about 20 minutes later, heard a bit of noise and looked up the two tiers on the tenement to see a bloke leaving the door she was standing outside, putting his coat on. Bright red light in the window, her having a smoke in a nightie. Then she flashed me her tits. I shouted something about being too pissed to even raise a smile, finished my smoke and went back in. It was a all a bit surreal.

I'd thought the red light thing was either an urban myth or just old fashioned, turns out it isn't. This was quite an upmarket building too, so god knows what the neighbours thought about it or maybe the attitude there isn't what it is here, I don't know. Live and let live though eh!

[Sebastian Cobb]

This place needs to get back as the No 1 parlour in Slough.

lol

[chveik]

Please please inject some Life & Class & Beauty & Va Va Voom back to IBs.

hilariously bleak

[BlodwynPig]

'Smacked up on Rohipnol' / 'Mooned around'. A lot of that review had the cadence of a comedy fan's writing, could be one of the dirty bollocks on here.

Biggy?

[Ferris]

lol

I also laughed out loud at that. I also had a google maps virtual cruise up and down Plungington Road. Whole thing is morbidly bleak.

[Dex Sawash]

I assumed Plungington Rd must have been a joke/euphemism

[Ferris]

I assumed Plungington Rd must have been a joke/euphemism

It was too specific so I figured it was real - Blodz posted a screenshot of it above.

[ToneLa]

Always depressing to hear the words "You want fuck me now?" two seconds after you have handed over the money; apparently the only English she spoke (or at least, the only English she uttered to me). This was completely mechanical and unerotic. She watched a Chinese gangster movie on her iPhone while giving me a perfunctory massage, and interrupted her fucking to turn up the volume - yes really. When it was all over she turned on an app on her phone - love that - so that we could converse. She asked if I would see her again. I said diplomatically that I had to go back to Manchester. She said she would go to Manchester. Weird. Got out as fast as I could, watched by the sinister man in the kitchen.

[PlanktonSideburns]

Bit of a weird one - stupid cow had a nervous breakdown and cried allover my audi TT, didn't really seem to be into the hand job she was giving me for a fiver, couldn't look me in the eye all the way through as requested. It was almost as if she - a teenage illegal immigrant who was clearly not doing sex work of her own free will - wasn't even enjoying being hired to have sex with me, a gouty middle aged plumber from milton Keynes. I threw the money at her, shoved her out the car and got out of there. Suffice to say it was definitely Her that was the weird one in that exchange, and I write this review only to warn others, not to re contextualise my self as the victim in an embarrassing and squalid abuse of my own power and citizenship in a semi consensual outdoor hand shandy scenario, oh no, and if one person  reads this and has a voyueristic bukowskian thrill from the glib tableau I have created here, then the whole endeavour has been a worthwhile one I think