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Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go

Started by Fambo Number Mive, March 29, 2018, 09:48:16 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Icehaven

Quote from: Ornlu on January 13, 2019, 09:23:21 PM
Fuck, now we've got a completely unnecessary, resolutely epic and stirring Paloma Faith cover of Go Your Own Way for something or other. We had a brass band interpretation for Sainsbury's or something all throughout Christmas didn't we? There have to be abiding rules for this sort of thing, don't there?

To add to her dreadful version of Make Your Own Kind Of Music from a previous ad. Does she specialise in ironic cover versions or something?

gilbertharding

Quote from: jobotic on January 10, 2019, 03:45:56 PM
I haven't done any of these worthwhile puns for Orwell

Gumming Up for Air
Keep the Apicoectomy Flying
A Clergyman's Tartar

I think those are the main ones.

kalowski

Just watching Sky Arts and the adverts are on and it struck me: I have not seen an advert I like since I was about 8 years old.

Icehaven

Oh god, Gumtree have nicked Nationwide's performance poetry shtick, only even more earnest, if you can believe that was possible.

BlodwynPig

All the adverts I've seen in the last few years have followed this riff

"for the dreamers, the schemers, the...."

is that what you mean by performance poetry?

It's abysmal. "We're like you" shite.

gilbertharding

Quote from: BlodwynPig on January 20, 2019, 10:32:52 PM
All the adverts I've seen in the last few years have followed this riff

"for the dreamers, the schemers, the...."

is that what you mean by performance poetry?

It's abysmal. "We're like you" shite.

https://twitter.com/HeresToBotOnes

gilbertharding

Quote from: icehaven on January 20, 2019, 03:30:59 PM
Oh god, Gumtree have nicked Nationwide's performance poetry shtick, only even more earnest, if you can believe that was possible.

Nationwide now have three old dears chatting among themselves about having A Man Friend for some reason, in a fairly blatant homage to the Maltesers advert where two or three young people sit around chatting about sexual encounters.

I was confused by the Nationwide old dears though, wondering if what they were saying was supposed to rhyme or not.

kalowski

Quote from: BlodwynPig on January 20, 2019, 10:32:52 PM
All the adverts I've seen in the last few years have followed this riff

"for the dreamers, the schemers, the...."

is that what you mean by performance poetry?

It's abysmal. "We're like you" shite.
God, yes. "...for the workers, and the shirkers, those that thrive and those that strive (cut to 17 year old throwing away L plates) and those that drive. The house owners and the late night moaners. We're here for you when you win and when you lose, and when you choose the wrong horse, we're still here for you, of course."

Shoulders?-Stomach!

This is for the fucktards, the 'ey up loves', the banterbros, the chinbeards, the no johnnies love i don't like the feel, the 3am vommers, the tosspots, the full kit wankers, here's to you Mister Knocked Her Up At 17, the four lagers please love, the Gary of London Town, raise a glass for the closet racists, the belm impressionista, the cheeky Nandos, the duvet day, the McIntyre DVD of the soul, the meat and two veg, the chug forfeiteers, the hope it goes away, England's Lion!

Uncle TechTip

I'm sure we've done Lloyd's Bank beach horses with a breathy cover of You're Not Alone by Olive but fuck me, it's weird. All the people hugging horses at the end. There is a longer version where you see one man with a very strange look on his face as he cuddles a horse. I punch the air when this is on, it's fucking unreal.

mothman

#400
Nine bloody months ago, and it's still running.

Quote from: mothman on April 09, 2018, 12:17:33 AM
The first one (with breathy girly Praise You cover music) made a sort of thematic sense: your bank (personified by a black horse) will be there for you when you need it (yeah, right). But now what do we have? Children being roused from their beds and force-marched to an isolated beach where lots of horses will appear magically and pick you (or not? Were there enough horses to go round? Do some children not get accepted?) for... what? A lifetime of banking services? Do all the horses represent Lloyd's, or are more than one bank available and it's a lottery which one you get?

Icehaven

Quote from: BlodwynPig on January 20, 2019, 10:32:52 PM
All the adverts I've seen in the last few years have followed this riff

"for the dreamers, the schemers, the...."

is that what you mean by performance poetry?

It's abysmal. "We're like you" shite.

Sort of, but it involves the actual 'poet' (or person reciting it anyway) in some naturalistic setting, and sounds like normal speech only with a few rhymes or bits with a sort of rhythm awkwardly shoehorned in.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: Uncle TechTip on January 21, 2019, 10:12:23 PM
I'm sure we've done Lloyd's Bank beach horses with a breathy cover of You're Not Alone by Olive but fuck me, it's weird. All the people hugging horses at the end. There is a longer version where you see one man with a very strange look on his face as he cuddles a horse. I punch the air when this is on, it's fucking unreal.

Yes it's like someone in their 40s from Marketing focused on the song title and no other aspect of it whatsoever.

Clownbaby

There's something very subtly annoying about the woman in this advert and I can't put my finger on what it is

https://youtu.be/RjPbc9vH8PY

Icehaven

Quote from: Clownbaby on January 25, 2019, 02:10:47 PM
There's something very subtly annoying about the woman in this advert and I can't put my finger on what it is

https://youtu.be/RjPbc9vH8PY

As I ranted above, it's partly that she appears astonished that a toothbrush brand has made the radical leap of making a toothpaste.

Clownbaby

Quote from: icehaven on January 25, 2019, 04:06:49 PM
As I ranted above, it's partly that she appears astonished that a toothbrush brand has made the radical leap of making a toothpaste.

With me it's her stupid face.

Funny, I finally decide to mention it and you already have! Great minds

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Jockice on January 08, 2019, 07:17:41 AM
That electric toothbrush advert that says it's 'inspired by dentists.' Really? Mine's inspired by the Velvet Underground and George Orwell actually.

There's that quite obviously dubbed one as well where an white-toothed American (you can tell by the teeth) woman is looking in the mirror.

'have i got yellow teeth?'
her mate: 'yes!'
both: 'HAHAHAAHA'

Icehaven

Quote from: Clownbaby on January 25, 2019, 04:08:40 PM
With me it's her stupid face.

She does actually remind me of a girl from the year above me in primary school who tried to pinch my best friend by being horrible to me so I hope someone swaps her oh-so-shocking toothpaste for araldite.

Twed

Quote from: Clownbaby on January 25, 2019, 04:08:40 PM
With me it's her stupid face.

Funny, I finally decide to mention it and you already have! Great minds
For me it's the way she's so pleased with everything she's doing. Not the actual woman's fault, it's the way ads are put together. Pick up a bell pepper and grin at it like it's going to save the world.

Icehaven

Quote from: Twed on January 25, 2019, 07:59:57 PM
For me it's the way she's so pleased with everything she's doing. Not the actual woman's fault, it's the way ads are put together. Pick up a bell pepper and grin at it like it's going to save the world.

Yes there is that too, the smug glance in the mirror after she says "I know how to keep my body healthy." You ain't all that love.

Twed

I don't know why it makes me remember this Slim Fast classic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pBHcfUo0Gw

Not annoying in the same way, just so twee.

Still a bit in love with her, too.

im barry bethel

Quotefunky
monkey
give me a chocolate bar that's chunky

Excellent work, go to the headmistress for your star of the week certificate

mothman

Quote from: icehaven on January 25, 2019, 04:06:49 PM
As I ranted above, it's partly that she appears astonished that a toothbrush brand has made the radical leap of making a toothpaste.

It's just the way she says it. And then I remembered what it reminds me of.



(or rather, they're reacting to and parodying what it reminds me of. But it's not so easily GISed)


Icehaven

Ffs I just saw a car advert with shiny happy people driving the car through beautiful scenery to the beach and to go hiking etc. with a voiceover saying things like "I wish I was in a meeting" and "I wish I was assembling flatpack furniture" and so on, and I thought 'surely they aren't doing that ancient "said no one ever" thing', but of course they bloody were. I know it's probably aimed at the kind of people who can actually afford the car, ie middle aged people who wear "I have too many guitars. Said no one ever." Tshirts but come oooooonnnnnnnnn.

dr beat

Quote from: Uncle TechTip on January 21, 2019, 10:12:23 PM
I'm sure we've done Lloyd's Bank beach horses with a breathy cover of You're Not Alone by Olive but fuck me, it's weird. All the people hugging horses at the end. There is a longer version where you see one man with a very strange look on his face as he cuddles a horse. I punch the air when this is on, it's fucking unreal.

I find it helps to imagine that advert ending with Noel Edmonds in an Apache attack helicopter looming over them.

Twed

Quote from: Uncle TechTip on January 21, 2019, 10:12:23 PM
I'm sure we've done Lloyd's Bank beach horses with a breathy cover of You're Not Alone by Olive but fuck me, it's weird. All the people hugging horses at the end. There is a longer version where you see one man with a very strange look on his face as he cuddles a horse. I punch the air when this is on, it's fucking unreal.
Wow, the artist is really happy about that cover and is promoting it all over the place. If you've done a standard breathy cover that goes straight to BANK ADVERTS you should feel shame.

Camp Tramp

Quote from: Twed on January 26, 2019, 12:06:08 AM
I don't know why it makes me remember this Slim Fast classic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pBHcfUo0Gw

Not annoying in the same way, just so twee.

Still a bit in love with her, too.

Reminds me of the first episode of "Don't Hug Me I'm Scared"

Twed


gilbertharding

Whilst not wanting to turn this thread into 'People off the adverts I fancy (a bit)', I did want to mention the recent advert for Arial 'Pod' detergent which runs under the slogan 'Do You Pod?'

Specifically the woman pictured who Does Not Pod - she is pouring liquid detergent into one of those tedious little plastic balls you can never find when you need one - and looks at the camera with a 'What? YOU fuck off' frown which I have to say I find enchanting.

Twed

I pod. I have to take the fucking thing and put it in either a sock or a SPECIAL BAG I KEEP JUST FOR THE POD so stop its wrapper from getting trapped in the rubber door seal and gumming it all up. Fuck this propaganda.