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March 29, 2024, 08:46:22 AM

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Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go

Started by Fambo Number Mive, March 29, 2018, 09:48:16 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Sebastian Cobb

I hate the Barclays Springboard mortgage advert. The one with the woman wandering into her gaff saying 'Do you know what success sounds like? This, it's not having to sneak past your parents' room at 33. Mum and Dad have done their bit.'.

It feels a bit like those army adverts that are obviously made by the army and would only ever appeal to people already in the army. But for middle class mum and dads that are obviously going to lamp down the deposit of anyone taking out this mortgage.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQBIE-dL7Sk

It just has a nasty propaganda feel to it imo.

imitationleather

Yes, as that is so far from that being my life (aside from the age bit being bang-on accurate) that it may as well be about life on a different planet I find it incredibly patronising. But what else can really be expected from a bank advert?

Bently Sheds

#692
Nationwide's latest abomination where boomer cunts in their kitchen guff on about releasing equity on their property because they've worked hard all their life for it and they should enjoy their money because they deserve it and bollocks to our kids, fuck 'em. Run in the fucking castle and pull your fucking drawbridge up, you self-centred, greedy shitstains.

The only comfort I have is when the bloke says "we might need the money for care" and I think of him in a state care home laying in a puddle of his own bed piss all night, falling out of bed to get away from the wet sheets and landing on the pressure mat that's not plugged in and suffering hypothermia before some disinterested teenage carer wanders into his room three hours later, tuts, takes a photo of him face down, smeared in piss and shit and sends it to her Snapchat friends with the message "Me after night out LOL" then hauls him back into his reeking bed to lay there the rest of the day. That's what 4 grand a week from your fucking equity release gets you, pal.

Nationwide just can't do adverts.

lgpmachine

Quote from: Bently Sheds on January 13, 2020, 02:01:53 PM
Nationwide's latest abomination where boomer cunts in their kitchen guff on about releasing equity on their property because they've worked hard all their life for it and they should enjoy their money because they deserve it and bollocks to our kids, fuck 'em. Run in the fucking castle and pull your fucking drawbridge up, you self-centred, greedy shitstains.

The only comfort I have is when the bloke says "we might need the money for care" and I think of him in a state care home laying in a puddle of his own bed piss all night, falling out of bed to get away from the wet sheets and landing on the pressure mat that's not plugged in and suffering hypothermia before some disinterested teenage carer wanders into his room three hours later, tuts, takes a photo of him face down, smeared in piss and shit and sends it to her Snapchat friends with the message "Me after night out LOL" then hauls him back into his reeking bed to lay there the rest of the day. That's what 4 grand a week from your fucking equity release gets you, pal.

Nationwide just can't do adverts.

Came here to post about this but the above puts it so succinctly there's nothing I can add.

The other Nationwide one about recently is in a similar vein; some old dear engaging in an interminable stream of consciousness monologue about how this is "my time" whilst sitting in a deserted riding arena.  They've probably binned the youthful poets angle now nobody under 35 can afford a house.

Bently Sheds

Quote from: lgpmachine on January 13, 2020, 09:50:27 PM
Came here to post about this but the above puts it so succinctly there's nothing I can add.

The other Nationwide one about recently is in a similar vein; some old dear engaging in an interminable stream of consciousness monologue about how this is "my time" whilst sitting in a deserted riding arena.  They've probably binned the youthful poets angle now nobody under 35 can afford a house.
That's the one where she says "I've fucked my kids off; fuck 'em. Even my 17 year old bastard grandson who uses me for lifts can fuck off, I'm looking after meself now." She can fuck the fuck off anawl. I hope she wraps her Honda Jazz around a tree after she's dropped her 17 year old grandson off at his house.

dissolute ocelot

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on January 04, 2020, 08:30:46 PM
I hate the Barclays Springboard mortgage advert. The one with the woman wandering into her gaff saying 'Do you know what success sounds like? This, it's not having to sneak past your parents' room at 33. Mum and Dad have done their bit.'.
As if cunts who own flats need any encouragement to go banging everything at 3am. There's also one about a couple not having to shag loudly in a room next to their parents. Speaking as your downstairs neighbour, we can hear every fucking grunt you selfish cunts.


seepage

what's the verdict on that Vodafone one with the seal in it?

Cerys


Icehaven

There's one for a credit rating website where a bloke is looking at a car, and every time he swipes his phone and his credit score improves, the car's replaced by a better one. At the end, a convertible appears with a baby car seat in the back, at which he grimaces, swipes again, his score goes up again, the seat disappears and a mountain bike appears attached to the back instead. I'm not sure what they're trying to say, if your credit score's good enough you won't have to either have a kid or have your kid in your car? That you can go mountain biking instead of having a family? Surely the opposite is true? I don't geddit.

paruses

Quote from: icehaven on January 15, 2020, 08:02:57 PM
There's one for a credit rating website where a bloke is looking at a car, and every time he swipes his phone and his credit score improves, the car's replaced by a better one. At the end, a convertible appears with a baby car seat in the back, at which he grimaces, swipes again, his score goes up again, the seat disappears and a mountain bike appears attached to the back instead. I'm not sure what they're trying to say, if your credit score's good enough you won't have to either have a kid or have your kid in your car? That you can go mountain biking instead of having a family? Surely the opposite is true? I don't geddit.

There's a companion ad to that one with a girl with an horrendous roommate in a bedsit and she swipes away upgrading the bedsit and the roommate eventually to a great dane and some impossible New York-style oft apartment.

Is this what is known as gameifying? I have no chance of spelling that right btw. It suggests to me that if I download the app and play it like Angry Birds then my income will improve exponentially regardless of how much avocado on toast I choose to eat for brunch.


idunnosomename

Online the Tik Tok ad with the blonde cunt telling his mum he doesnt like tea makes me shit a brick

Ambient Sheep

Oh God yes.  Was getting that every single time the other day on a phone game I'm a bit addicted to.  Nearly fixed my addiction...

Also am actually rather offended that occasionally I get a Wizard of Oz themed advert that turns out to be for some gambling slots game or other.  Surely there has to be a law against using stuff that's popular with kids to advertise over-18 stuff?  I'm guessing the get-out is that The Wizard of Oz isn't a children's film as such, but it's still utterly reprehensible.

Icehaven

Quote from: Ambient Sheep on January 16, 2020, 01:30:22 AM
Oh God yes.  Was getting that every single time the other day on a phone game I'm a bit addicted to.  Nearly fixed my addiction...

Also am actually rather offended that occasionally I get a Wizard of Oz themed advert that turns out to be for some gambling slots game or other.  Surely there has to be a law against using stuff that's popular with kids to advertise over-18 stuff?  I'm guessing the get-out is that The Wizard of Oz isn't a children's film as such, but it's still utterly reprehensible.

On the couple of phone games I play I get a mix of ads for kid's TV shows, Lego, Frozen 2, eyebrow makeup, a bank, other phone games and gambling games, so I just presume they hedge their bets between the ads being seen by a child playing on their parent's phone and the parent.

Phil_A

Quote from: buttgammon on January 04, 2020, 07:59:49 PM
Is that one of those hideous ones which market themselves as being for serious, successful people. Guaranteed wankers all round.

There used to be one on Freeview all the time for a dating service called Elite Singles, with a woman claiming it helps her "filter out the time wasters." Like it's a bloody job interview.

Jockice

Quote from: Phil_A on January 16, 2020, 10:42:06 AM
There used to be one on Freeview all the time for a dating service called Elite Singles, with a woman claiming it helps her "filter out the time wasters." Like it's a bloody job interview.

Yeah, but I can guarantee she'd be bloody hard work.

idunnosomename

The amount of "free money playing games WOW look at real money in ur paypal" ads on freemium apps are scary. Just as the fuckload of betting ads on YouTube

Icehaven

The internet's really been a godsend for the gambling industry hasn't it? I mean unlike a lot of pubs, it's not as if bookies or arcades were ever very pleasant places to be, but now they don't even have to worry about that anymore.

idunnosomename

I mean online gambling's been doing well since the late nineties. But I don't remember in early 00s internet dot com boom the same amount of aggressive, targeted, localised gambling stuff: particularly the high street firms on YouTube rather than the Poker apps on freemium app servers. I guess if minors are using YouTube with their own accounts they shouldn't see it but in reality they are using their guardians' logged in accounts. They're playing a blinder normalising gambling when it should be being pushed out.

CAPITALISM!!!

Brian Freeze

Quote from: idunnosomename on January 16, 2020, 12:54:11 PM
The amount of "free money playing games WOW look at real money in ur paypal" ads on freemium apps are scary. Just as the fuckload of betting ads on YouTube

I'd been wondering about these. What is the deal?  Im guessing you've got to spunk hundreds of hours into them for a fiver back while watching a bazillion adverts and then they've got your paypal or amazon details and then rinse you for those afterwards by selling them on to some wronguns. Or is it something else?

Brian Freeze

Also - location specific podcast adverts. How they work? Especially when they get it wrong.

I've not heard many but the first was during a Skeptoid episode and came up with a very close by college course (within five miles of home address), it proper threw me hearing that out of the blue.

Tonight Ive just had a couple of way out ones,  a bed shop in Stirling and then straight afterwards an advert for Glasgows public transport system (the subway to be precise) and Ive not been closer than 120 miles from either since May last year.

Any ideas?

ZoyzaSorris

I don't really watch tv any more so my main encounter with ads is on Youtube.

Does anyone else seem to get nothing but ads for 'Masterclasses' (load of pompous shite, especially the one with Neil deGrasse Tyson telling you he is going to 'teach you how to think') and some crap about someone who got fired for inventing an indestructible drone (which is actually just a generic chinese piece of shit)? Or is that just a result of the peculiar digital profile the social media stasi have drawn up for me?

idunnosomename

Quote from: Brian Freeze on January 17, 2020, 12:24:20 AM
I'd been wondering about these. What is the deal?  Im guessing you've got to spunk hundreds of hours into them for a fiver back while watching a bazillion adverts and then they've got your paypal or amazon details and then rinse you for those afterwards by selling them on to some wronguns. Or is it something else?
i had a quick look, seems like most of the time you cant even cash in the rewards. I dont think it's even like that get paid to look at ads thing in the early 00s that did actually give you money even if it was pretty feeble. AllAdvantage. Woa that was it.

I doubt they do anything criminal, but they will datamine you on surveys. And show you ads. For um. Other datamining get paid to play games apps? All a bit of a zombie cannibal economy

idunnosomename

Has anyone got that YouTube ad for an ACTUAL TANK
I thought it was a video game but no its an Israeli arms manufacturer that makes real killing machines. Only the IDF would advertise ACTUAL FUCKING TANKS on youtube

Edit it was this lot
https://www.youtube.com/user/RafaelMarketingLtd

imitationleather

Quote from: idunnosomename on January 17, 2020, 10:05:02 AM
Has anyone got that YouTube ad for an ACTUAL TANK
I thought it was a video game but no its an Israeli arms manufacturer that makes real killing machines. Only the IDF would advertise ACTUAL FUCKING TANKS on youtube

You're probably logged in to Stephen Morris from New Order's YouTube account by mistake.

Jockice

Quote from: imitationleather on January 17, 2020, 10:06:57 AM
You're probably logged in to Stephen Morris from New Order's YouTube account by mistake.

Like he got into my car by mistake. Of course.

imitationleather

What do you expect when you drive a Panzer?

jobotic

I'm going to see Stephen Morris talk about his book in Faversham next month. Should I read it?

Jockice

Quote from: jobotic on January 17, 2020, 05:50:18 PM
I'm going to see Stephen Morris talk about his book in Faversham next month. Should I read it?

Dunno. I gave it to a mate of mine who was supposed to be coming with me to see him talk but wasn't well on the night. He must have been suffering because he loves Joy Division to a frankly worrying degree. I'm hoping to borrow it back at some point but haven't got round to asking him yet. Morris's talk was quite interesting though. Then he got into my car.

Brian Freeze

Cheers for your research idunnnosomename.

Have Wallace and Gromit been mentioned yet? Pair of sell out twats.