Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go

[BlodwynPig]

Man watches car advert in car advert:
Ad in ad voiceover: "Introducing... The New Kia X-Ceed"
Man: "Is that the new Kia X-Ceed? Is it out?"

Course it's fucking out, you clopper. They're advertising it in an advert. They're not going to advertise it if it's not for sale, are they? "Introducing... the new Kia X-Ceed. It doesn't exist. We haven't made it yet. We just thought you'd like to look at some images of the car that might be coming out over the next twelve months or so..."

The fucking donger.

was he wearing a nappy and screaming "is it out!" in an excited but petulant manner, thumping his pudgy hands in his mashed banana while his wife shakes her head in the background?

[Brian Freeze]

Red Dwarf and the AA? Get fucked.

Extra glad I saved myself over 70 notes by finding another roadside repair outfit. Id have been fuming.

[Blumf]

Man watches car advert in car advert:
Ad in ad voiceover: "Introducing... The New Kia X-Ceed"
Man: "Is that the new Kia X-Ceed? Is it out?"

Really weird ad. It's like he's some kind of Stepford car buyer, compelled to buy the same car as the rest of the neighbourhood. Not even a hint of exclusivity or specialness that car ads usually aim for.

[Icehaven]

Smashing Pumpkins on an iphone ad now, bah. Fuck you sad Billy.

[JesusAndYourBush]

Smashing Pumpkins on an iphone ad now, bah. Fuck you sad Billy.

With the music industry having changed massively in the last 20 years I don't blame people for licencing their music for use in adverts.  Make the money where you can.

[Jockice]

With the music industry having changed massively in the last 20 years I don't blame people for licencing their music for use in adverts.  Make the money where you can.

But, but, Bill Hicks said...

[Dr Syntax Head]

At least they used the actual song and not a plinky piano fragile female voice abortion

[Dr Syntax Head]

The current black horse bank advert is in my top 5 most depressing adverts. Every single thing about it is truly horrible

[BritishHobo]

On the note of music licensing, is Queen's music especially cheap or something? It seems to be used in a lot of adverts lately, starting with that gash Flash mop ad.

[kalowski]

gash Flash mop ad.

Basic Instinct?

[petril]

Basic Instinct?

Karl Howman vaginoplasty

[beanheadmcginty]

On the note of music licensing, is Queen's music especially cheap or something? It seems to be used in a lot of adverts lately, starting with that gash Flash mop ad.

I know nothing about the advertising industry so this is a complete guess, but my assumption is that modern advertising executives are complete cunts without a shred of creativity or interest in the world around them. So there's every chance they've only just discovered the band Queen after seeing the film Bohemian Rhapsody and in their minds it's been like cracking open a musical Aladdin's cave. "We've found a song that has the same name as the stuff we're selling! This will blow everybody's minds!"

[dissolute ocelot]

Every other advert on Comedy Central seems to be for life assurance. There are two varieties, Beagle Street cunts trying to make recent parents fear death rather than embrace it, and old cunts leaving £250 for their grandkids to get their faces tattooed unrecognisably on their chests (£20 M&S voucher if you die after a year). Is this a COVID thing, or more due to all the payday loan companies being shut down?

[neveragain]

I've been watching Judge Judy a lot on MADE in Tyne & Wear (a sentence already full of two types of desolation), and 98% of the adverts are for extremely grisly and unpleasant true-crime series. I was going to write a parody but it's too depressing.

[JesusAndYourBush]

but my assumption is that modern advertising executives are complete cunts without a shred of creativity

So Daewoo using Banana Boat Song should be just around the corner.

Day-oooo, Daaaay-ooooo, Daylight comes and me wan' a new car!

I had a whole bunch of these but that's the only one i can remember.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Really hate it when soul classics are cheapened for shit ads, Aretha Franklyn for Freederm, Minnie Ripperton for Bells.

[DrGreggles]

Isn't there a 50 year publishing rights thing that exists?

[Phil_A]

Every other advert on Comedy Central seems to be for life assurance. There are two varieties, Beagle Street cunts trying to make recent parents fear death rather than embrace it, and old cunts leaving £250 for their grandkids to get their faces tattooed unrecognisably on their chests (£20 M&S voucher if you die after a year). Is this a COVID thing, or more due to all the payday loan companies being shut down?

On Talking Pictures it seems every other ad is for life insurance and making sure you've got your funeral expenses sorted because you're must be DEAD SOON if you spend all day watching obscure Anthony Newley films.

[Cerys]

Can't be arsed reading back to find out if it's already been mentioned, but seeing a Viagra ad with Come Up and See Me (Make Me Smile) as the music did, indeed, make me smile.

[ersatz99]

Pineapple banana satsuma kumquat!

Lad buying single items of fruit and slapping his card against the contactless reader in a high-five motion. None of this made any sense to me from the advert itself so I had to look it up. Apparently Moneybox allows you to invest your spare change from purchases into stocks and shares. Does the concept of spare change even exist with card purchasing?

[gilbertharding]

Can't be arsed reading back to find out if it's already been mentioned, but seeing a Viagra ad with Come Up and See Me (Make Me Smile) as the music did, indeed, make me smile.

It has indeed already been mentioned:

Scene - summer morning, a large airy bedroom. As the sound of Make Me Smile (Come Up and See Me) by Cockney Rebel strikes up, a middle aged but obviously youthful couple wake up. The man, wearing short pyjamas and a flowing lightweight robe proceeds to dance through the house downstairs to the kitchen.

A public safety film, warning against the dangers of wearing socks on polished wooden staircases?

Not quite.

(Also - confusingly, once the man reaches the ground floor, there is a woman apparently already there to greet him... but we last saw his wife upstairs. No wonder he needs the little blue pill).

[gilbertharding]

Wow. The old Adverts thread is amazing. Page 40-something, there's a discussion from 2015 about Clean Bandit shilling for something called Cortana which I (and everyone else) had completely forgotten about.

[Pseudopath]

Wow. The old Adverts thread is amazing. Page 40-something, there's a discussion from 2015 about Clean Bandit shilling for something called Cortana which I (and everyone else) had completely forgotten about.

A beautiful thread. Here's the start of the Clean Bandit excoriation: https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,34318.msg2483011.html#msg2483011

Just realised the original YouTube link is dead. Not sure if this is the original advert, but it's bad enough: https://vimeo.com/120307305

[Phil_A]

A beautiful thread. Here's the start of the Clean Bandit excoriation: https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,34318.msg2483011.html#msg2483011

Just realised the original YouTube link is dead. Not sure if this is the original advert, but it's bad enough: https://vimeo.com/120307305

There was definitely another one where the girl Bandit says something along the lines of "Cortana, remind me to take lots of photos backstage, you know, for our fans." Urgh.

[gilbertharding]

Clean Bandit are a tricky prospect. Awful posh cello botherers... who make terrible but brilliant pop music which I hate and it's great... and they speak up for Jeremy Corbyn.

[studpuppet]

So Daewoo using Banana Boat Song should be just around the corner.

Day-oooo, Daaaay-ooooo, Daylight comes and me wan' a new car!

I had a whole bunch of these but that's the only one i can remember.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-V-KCY7SMU

[Cerys]

It has indeed already been mentioned:

Thankyou muchly!

[Gurke and Hare]

I hate it when I legitimately like an advert, but I like this.

[kalowski]

I hate it when I legitimately like an advert, but I like this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbe6zAjqOhY

[gilbertharding]

Cool - but the Boddingtons Adverts from the 90 were the same joke basically.