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Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go

Started by Fambo Number Mive, March 29, 2018, 09:48:16 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

paruses

#840
Quote from: Bazooka on May 14, 2020, 07:20:55 PM
Nationwide's new one again with wretched spoken word sewage, all the great times during lockdown.  This virus is a God send to advertisers%uFF0Cthe adverts literally write themselves, any old fucker speaking into a webcam or phone, they could be talking about genital mutilation and I don't think anyone would pay attention.

That one's awful. One of the worst. I hate the way that we're being pre-loaded our memories of what all this was like - and not even by a hive mind of Facebook posts - it's corporate entities that are doing it. I imagine that there's some plan to use them in years to come to get us to buy stuff like when Russian assassins are triggered by hearing a certain piece of classical music played followed by a specific phrase.

The fact that almost every ad is virus-related, suspiciously competent Steven Bochco-style mobile video (albeit filmed in portrait to keep the illusion that a prole has submitted it) made me really happy to watch the Barclays ad about fraud where two men in gorilla suits get up to japes.

Icehaven

Quote from: paruses on May 17, 2020, 11:42:52 AM
I imagine that there's some plan to use them in years to come to get us to buy stuff like when Russian assassins are triggered by hearing a certain piece of classical music played followed by a specific phrase.

This is why I hope it backfires spectacularly as Nationwide and anyone else who's gone big on lockdown advertising come to be intrinsically associated with this shitty time that everyone would much rather forget, so when it's all over they haemorrhage business.

Fr.Bigley

Like Jess glynne and Jet2...insipid association now.

ollyboro

The end of Lockdown KFC ad's quite instructive. It shows various attempts by Joe Cunt to make a homemade KFC, then says "We'll take it from here". But the money shot hardly focuses on the real KFC food. Instead it gives more focus to the container it comes in.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: ollyboro on May 24, 2020, 07:14:35 PM
The end of Lockdown KFC ad's quite instructive. It shows various attempts by Joe Cunt to make a homemade KFC, then says "We'll take it from here". But the money shot hardly focuses on the real KFC food. Instead it gives more focus to the container it comes in.

I actually got a craving for chicken burgers during this lockdown and took it upon myself to do some. I was surprised at how fucking easy it was and how well they came out having not done it before.

Hammer some thighs flat, mix in seasoning and flower, dip in egg then bread crumbs and fry in about 1cm of oil for ~4mins a side.

ollyboro

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on May 24, 2020, 07:26:47 PM
I actually got a craving for chicken burgers during this lockdown and took it upon myself to do some. I was surprised at how fucking easy it was and how well they came out having not done it before.

Hammer some thighs flat, mix in seasoning and flower, dip in egg then bread crumbs and fry in about 1cm of oil for ~4mins a side.

But..but..what about the secret recipe?

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: ollyboro on May 24, 2020, 07:28:36 PM
But..but..what about the secret recipe?

I left some mayonnaise in the sun.

ollyboro

The Cancer Research advert is an odd one. A woman sits there whilst a doctor says something like, "Well, we've got the results in.....and.....(at which point the patient looks truly terrified).....you don't need anymore treatment." At which point the patient bursts into tears and hugs the doctor.

Now if this is genuine and this was genuinely the first time the patient received her prognosis, weren't Cancer Research taking a huge gamble? What if it had been bad news? Would that have been broadcast? Unless they went through a few patients who were given the worst news before they got to the survivor? Unless it's fake. I hope not, because I feel really happy for the woman.

seepage

Quote from: ollyboro on May 27, 2020, 01:54:50 AM
The Cancer Research advert is an odd one. A woman sits there whilst a doctor says something like, "Well, we've got the results in.....and.....(at which point the patient looks truly terrified).....you don't need anymore treatment." At which point the patient bursts into tears and hugs the doctor.

Now if this is genuine and this was genuinely the first time the patient received her prognosis, weren't Cancer Research taking a huge gamble? What if it had been bad news? Would that have been broadcast? Unless they went through a few patients who were given the worst news before they got to the survivor? Unless it's fake. I hope not, because I feel really happy for the woman.

I mentioned an earlier one in this thread with a male doctor where the "...and..." lasts a good 20 second gameshow pause before the same "you don't need anymore treatment". Unless the doctor is insane I don't think you'd pause like that IRL so I'm going with fake.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: seepage on May 27, 2020, 06:32:54 AM
I mentioned an earlier one in this thread with a male doctor where the "...and..." lasts a good 20 second gameshow pause before the same "you don't need anymore treatment". Unless the doctor is insane I don't think you'd pause like that IRL so I'm going with fake.

are you both the naivest people on the planet? A FUCKING ADVERT USING A REAL LIFE RESULTS DELIVERY???? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Jesus Christ.

monkfromhavana

Quote from: BlodwynPig on May 27, 2020, 10:39:36 AM
are you both the naivest people on the planet? A FUCKING ADVERT USING A REAL LIFE RESULTS DELIVERY???? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Jesus Christ.

"I'm sorry, but the treatment on your son has failed and he only has a few weeks to live"

(Doctor swivels on chair, giving thumbs up to the camera "Was that ok?")

Fr.Bigley

I'm afraid the cancer has spread to your arsehole Mrs Glover. I'm sorry, can I grab your tits?

idunnosomename

Quote from: icehaven on May 17, 2020, 12:22:35 PM
This is why I hope it backfires spectacularly as Nationwide and anyone else who's gone big on lockdown advertising come to be intrinsically associated with this shitty time that everyone would much rather forget, so when it's all over they haemorrhage business.
please no all my money is there

petril

Quote from: Gulftastic on April 24, 2020, 06:54:31 PM
I know this ad is normally for product ads, but I love one of the ads on Discovery Channel for it's own programme where some Brummie guy is claiming to have found Knights Templar treasure or something.

He claims 'It's the greatest find since Tutankhamun' but he pronounces the last word 'Tooting-kamoon' and it tickles me.

that sounds like a line from a Jasper Carrott set

JesusAndYourBush

Quote from: monkfromhavana on May 27, 2020, 10:44:01 AM
"I'm sorry, but the treatment on your son has failed and he only has a few weeks to live"

(Doctor swivels on chair, giving thumbs up to the camera "Was that ok?")

"I'm sorry, but the treatment on your son has failed and he only has a few weeks to live"

(tarrant pause)

"...until he can go to disneyworld!  Because he's not going to die!"

(tarrant pause)

"...Until later in the year..."

(tarrant pause) 

"...he'll die from shock when he discovers he's got the all clear!!!!!"

(Confetti rains down from ceiling. Crying mother kicks doctor square in the nads.)



Icehaven


Ferris

Quote from: idunnosomename on May 27, 2020, 01:29:06 PM
please no all my money is there

I'm sure they'll survive the loss of THREE POUNDS lmao

Edit: just realized why your comment made me laugh, reminded me of this

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=d7hE6MlFzz4

mothman


Icehaven

Does anyone else find the ad with NHS workers "thanking" taxi drivers incredibly patronising and misguided? As if they're continuing to work and risk their health out of the goodness of their hearts rather than because they need money to live and are basically self employed thanks to Uber etc.'s notoriously dodgy employment practices so won't be getting furlough money or anything. It's not the NHS staff's fault of course but it does make them look strangely naive.

ProvanFan


Rizla

Walking slice of Brighton Johnny Fluffypunk on some Nationwide lockdown pish cuntery ad. Urgh. What a fucking CUNT. Had a look at Johnny Fluffypunk's website there to see if he's real. Yes. He's a real CUNT. Fuck off Johnny. Shilling for the bankers like a right CUNT.

I thought we'd got all that shit slam poetry shite out of the system early 00's. CUNTS.

Edit - bit harsh that maybe, I've been up to my ringpiece in tile adhesive all day and my resistance is very low.

gilbertharding

Will I ever be able to post here again if I say that I am immensely attracted by the 'bigger boobs... bit of wee' lady from the Tena advert? I mean, that must make me some kind of deviant, right?

I'd blame lockdown horn, but I'd be lying to myself.

Ambient Sheep

Nope, you're not the only one.  She's lovely and has an arse (as well as several other things) to die for.  And yeah, Lockdown Horn has nothing to do with it -- she's a regular on Talking Pictures and I spotted her months before all that.

But then, I am some kind of deviant.[nb]Not the watersports and/or diaper-loving kind, though.[/nb]

For the first time ever in my life I think, a few weeks ago I bothered to Google to find out her name (which hilariously I now can't remember).  Turned out she's actually been in quite a lot of things, was surprised I hadn't noticed her before.

And there endeth my once-every-decade-or-so contribution to the Phwoaaarrr thread, and I'm not even in it.  Bah.


Icehaven

Quote from: Rizla on June 11, 2020, 08:48:35 PM
Walking slice of Brighton Johnny Fluffypunk on some Nationwide lockdown pish cuntery ad. Urgh. What a fucking CUNT. Had a look at Johnny Fluffypunk's website there to see if he's real. Yes. He's a real CUNT. Fuck off Johnny. Shilling for the bankers like a right CUNT.

I thought we'd got all that shit slam poetry shite out of the system early 00's. CUNTS.

Edit - bit harsh that maybe, I've been up to my ringpiece in tile adhesive all day and my resistance is very low.

Fluffypunk? Of the Connecticut Fluffypunks?

Icehaven


Cerys


dissolute ocelot

Quote from: Rizla on June 11, 2020, 08:48:35 PM
Walking slice of Brighton Johnny Fluffypunk on some Nationwide lockdown pish cuntery ad. Urgh. What a fucking CUNT. Had a look at Johnny Fluffypunk's website there to see if he's real. Yes. He's a real CUNT. Fuck off Johnny. Shilling for the bankers like a right CUNT.

I thought we'd got all that shit slam poetry shite out of the system early 00's. CUNTS.

Edit - bit harsh that maybe, I've been up to my ringpiece in tile adhesive all day and my resistance is very low.

I think we're supposed to like Nationwide because it's a building society and it's mutual and it's doing it for the kids and isn't an evil profit-hungry bank. This would be easier if their adverts weren't a compilation of the most hateable people in Britain.


imitationleather

It's actually impossible to imagine anyone enjoying that spoken word stuff.

BlodwynPig


Icehaven

Quote from: gilbertharding on June 11, 2020, 10:25:46 PM
Will I ever be able to post here again if I say that I am immensely attracted by the 'bigger boobs... bit of wee' lady from the Tena advert? I mean, that must make me some kind of deviant, right?

I'd blame lockdown horn, but I'd be lying to myself.

She reminds me of Rebecca Hall.