Tip jar

If you like CaB and wish to support it, you can use PayPal or KoFi. Thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the site - Neil.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Support CaB

Recent

Welcome to Cook'd and Bomb'd. Please login or sign up.

March 28, 2024, 10:28:17 PM

Login with username, password and session length

Cab Men II: Because fact into doubt won't go

Started by Fambo Number Mive, March 29, 2018, 09:48:16 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Cerys

Quote from: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on July 10, 2020, 08:18:04 PM
Fucking hell, that Nuii (posh choc ice) advert might be the wankiest thing I've ever seen. I thought it was a pisstake at first.

Still makes me want one, though.

Poobum

The Viagra advert that uses a twee slowed down version I'm Gonna Be (500 miles). Awful business. Though I am now imagining someone slogging along determinedly for 500 miles to give someone a good seeing too, maybe that's what the song was always about.

JesusAndYourBush

Now there's also a twee slowed down "Born To Be Wild".  Bugger off!!!!

JesusAndYourBush

Argh! This evening I heard 500 Miles & Born To Be Wild back to back. Twice.

Bently Sheds

I have an app on my phone called Chordbot, which is kind of like the auto-accompaniment feature you get on Casio keyboards, you can change the rhythm and the instrumentation and put chord progressions together.

Anyway.

The arpeggiated piano music on the latest Mazda advert sounds just like the default template you get on Chordbot but they've just changed the chords a little bit.

Icehaven

The Haven holidays one boils my piss more and more every time I see it because of how empty the beach is. That's not just because of the recent Bournemouth beach pictures, it's a fucking massive sandy beach right next to a caravan park on a nice day. What, are all those other people dutifully staying in their caravans so your brat can run freely across a virtually deserted beach? Reminds me of this;
https://www.boredpanda.com/travel-expectations-vs-reality/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic

Bazooka

Quote from: JesusAndYourBush on July 16, 2020, 03:43:33 PM
Now there's also a twee slowed down "Born To Be Wild".  Bugger off!!!!

When that Bjork superfan Ricardo Lopez shot himself in the melon, he had Bjork playing in the background.  If these ad execs did the same I'd bet they would do it to some twee cover as they huffed and puffed into the death rattle. Hanging from a fan and going stiff, as a twee cover of Motorhead's Ace of Spades trickles out their Amazon Alexa.

petril

Quote from: icehaven on July 17, 2020, 10:38:29 AM
What, are all those other people dutifully staying in their caravans so your brat can run freely across a virtually deserted beach?

I like to think all those other people are average level savvy and know how that pans out

monkfromhavana

Man in launderette starts playing his guitar and a bunch of cunts seem to think it's great instead.

paruses

Ah I'd forgotten that ad existed. Imagine the amount of self-satisfaction those people would have got all over the place. You'd never get rid of it.

Dex Sawash


Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth

That Mr Kipling advert - the one in which a young lad tries to steal a cake from some teddy boy, who looks like he clobbers pensioners for less. I assume the party they're attending is to celebrate someone being paroled on a technicality.

The ending is supposed to be all uplifting, but it misses the mark by a mile.

Fr.Bigley

The lad from the old Hovis advert riding down the cobbles as the last stretch of the Tour De France reaches its climax and he gets in the way of the yellow jersey, derailing the entire pelaton and causing a dozen fatalities and crowd decimation a la the Le man tragedy. The kid is a pariah the world over and is found dead of an overdose outside the Viper Room in Los Angeles.

Bazooka

Quote from: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on July 20, 2020, 02:44:59 PM
That Mr Kipling advert - the one in which a young lad tries to steal a cake from some teddy boy, who looks like he clobbers pensioners for less. I assume the party they're attending is to celebrate someone being paroled on a technicality.

The ending is supposed to be all uplifting, but it misses the mark by a mile.

It's all very bleak,no context is given as to why the sister didn't go (homework?), he is a thief who doesn't even get it right and steal one for himself, and his sister doesn't even say thank you.  Horrible family.

Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth

Quote from: Bazooka on July 20, 2020, 03:43:40 PM
It's all very bleak,no context is given as to why the sister didn't go (homework?)
Probably had a blazing row with her mum, possibly over the subject of getting a tattoo. The mum put her foot down, but the young girl just refuses to get one.

Meanwhile, the doctors say there is no physical reason why the brother isn't speaking and police are seeking the teddyboy for questioning after seven dogs were found chained up in a storage shed.

Icehaven

Quote from: Bazooka on July 20, 2020, 03:43:40 PM
It's all very bleak,no context is given as to why the sister didn't go (homework?), he is a thief who doesn't even get it right and steal one for himself, and his sister doesn't even say thank you.  Horrible family.

And don't forget how she snaps "Get OUT!!" at him when he first goes into her room. Hope he secretly wiped the cake on his bum before he gave it to her. When he's older he's going to end up snapping one day and murder the entire family by stuffing Mr. Kipling products down their throats until they choke.

RFT

Quote from: monkfromhavana on July 06, 2020, 08:34:32 AM
It's weird isn't it. In the 90s it was all "Wow, in Japan they have Hollywood A-listers in their adverts"

Now a mere 20 years later we have Stallone hawking bread and Keitel telling you not to worry about evicting your tenants.

I forget where I saw this theory, but the reason I read is basically youtube- in Ye olde days, you could do your Japanese adverts and pocket the cash safe in the knowledge that no-one in the west would see it, outside of occasional stuff like Clive James shows, etc. Once Youtube became a thing, that barrier's gone, so if you want to take the money for ads, you might as well stay at home and do it.

Icehaven

Quote from: RFT on July 22, 2020, 11:30:25 AM
I forget where I saw this theory, but the reason I read is basically youtube- in Ye olde days, you could do your Japanese adverts and pocket the cash safe in the knowledge that no-one in the west would see it, outside of occasional stuff like Clive James shows, etc. Once Youtube became a thing, that barrier's gone, so if you want to take the money for ads, you might as well stay at home and do it.

Also Hollywood stars used to try and maintain a kind of 'cool mystique', but now it's possible to Google every dirty little secret about them (whether it's true or not) and their every move is splashed across gossip sites practically before they've even made it, doing ads is one of the less embarrassing things they can be seen doing.

El Unicornio, mang

Quote from: ollyboro on July 03, 2020, 11:19:42 PM
I can only assume it's an old age thing. Despite having tens of thousands of pounds sat in her current account, my 79 year old Finnish mother sits in her mortgage free detached bungalow and goes on and on about having no money, and how because she's got no money she'll end up deported back to Finland. De Niro's a similar age, so no doubt he's shitting himself about being banished to Finland.

My couple friends who have 150k in the bank between them but get their friends to give them passwords for Netflix/Amazon and don't have data on their phone accounts because they don't want to spend the money. Sure they get it from their equally miserly parents, one of whom once sold one of us a metro ticket they were going to throw away anyway, for 50p. I think it's also the same kind of mindset as hoarders. Collecting money becomes more important than what you're actually going to do with it.

This advert on American TV never fails to make me cringe/laugh in equal measure.
Horny wife talking about morbidly obese ex-baseball player Frank Thomas: "The Big Hurt? More like the big hunk!"
Horribly cuckolded husband: "Yeah!"

https://www.ispot.tv/ad/wZA8/nugenix-fan-featuring-frank-thomas

Icehaven

Quote from: El Unicornio, mang on July 22, 2020, 01:42:28 PM
My couple friends who have 150k in the bank between them but get their friends to give them passwords for Netflix/Amazon and don't have data on their phone accounts because they don't want to spend the money. Sure they get it from their equally miserly parents, one of whom once sold one of us a metro ticket they were going to throw away anyway, for 50p. I think it's also the same kind of mindset as hoarders. Collecting money becomes more important than what you're actually going to do with it.

When I was at school I had a friend who's parents were extremely wealthy. They came from money anyway and they now ran a chain of jewellers, and one year for my birthday my friend gave me a puzzle ring, which was about 7 very narrow interlinked twisted rings which all fit together to make a chunky ring with a knot pattern on. It was lovely but it was also very, very difficult to get back together if it slipped apart, which it did a few times in the first few months I had it. I just couldn't do it so each time I'd given it to my friend who took it to his Dad to fix it. The third time he returned it and said his Dad had said if it happened again he'd have to charge me for fixing it. I presumed he was joking. He wasn't.

monkfromhavana

I can't shake this guy on one of those "home-delivery microwave meals for one for the elderly" out of my brain. He's tanned and attempting to give off heavy GILF vibes crossed with elderly Mafioso.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suvLNPAfYaQ#t=20s

dr beat

Quote from: icehaven on July 22, 2020, 01:31:29 PM
Also Hollywood stars used to try and maintain a kind of 'cool mystique', but now it's possible to Google every dirty little secret about them (whether it's true or not) and their every move is splashed across gossip sites practically before they've even made it, doing ads is one of the less embarrassing things they can be seen doing.

There was a discussion which touched on this in either Comedy Chat or the Movies thread, and I think someone made the point that Hollywood actors saw these kinds of ads as much less potentially risky for their career than doing a bad movie, which could have a much longer-term impact on their image and reputation. 

Or, as allegedly in De Niro's case, they might be going through an expensive divorce.

Cuntbeaks

The wine pouring in the Laithwaites wine advert on Food Network sounds like a guy pissing into a toilet bowl. It's absolutely fucking rank.

ProvanFan


ProvanFan

I enjoyed the claimants' names in this young lad's parody video

ProvanFan


Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Quote from: ProvanFan on July 26, 2020, 01:11:47 AM
I enjoyed the claimants' names in this young lad's parody video

I liked the inelegant fall of the second claimant in the reconstruction.

ProvanFan

There's a sequel on the channel which is both transphobic and ableist, but does have some good electrocution acting.

Camp Tramp

I'm getting really fed up with all the Honey adverts on Youtube. They are just obnoxious.

dissolute ocelot

Quote from: dr beat on July 24, 2020, 10:01:35 AM
There was a discussion which touched on this in either Comedy Chat or the Movies thread, and I think someone made the point that Hollywood actors saw these kinds of ads as much less potentially risky for their career than doing a bad movie, which could have a much longer-term impact on their image and reputation. 

Or, as allegedly in De Niro's case, they might be going through an expensive divorce.

I think based on his recent output De Niro's more worried that doing a good movie will damage his reputation.