Around this time of the evening...

[Glebe]

...I like to observe an armadillo fondling a cantaloupe (very slightly!).

[Bazooka]

I like to breath into a bag of microwavable popcorn and imagine I am a Hollywood hearthrob.

[willpurry]

I like to stroke my nipple with s strawberry and lychee ripple.

[Glebe]

This evening I will be mostly rebounding a haggis off a sideboard.

[Ferris]

Having a quick snooze, longwise.

[Glebe]

This morning I have the faint urge to pop an onion in a bread bin.

[canadagoose]

This morning I have the faint urge to pop an onion in a bread bin.

But then you'll have smelly onion bread!

[Glebe]

But then you'll have smelly onion bread!

Not really; I am allergic to bread, and just keep a bread bin for show!

[JoeyBananaduck]

Around this time of morning I sing an incontinence themed variant of Space Oddity to my cat.

Lyrics include:

"Here am I shitting in a tin can"
"Ground control to Major Tom,
You've fouled your keks
It's all gone wrong"
and
"Pants are filled with poo
And there's nothing I can do"

[Glebe]

Tonight, all going 'to plan', I shall rotate a cat near the swing lid bin in the kitchen, using only the powers of the limbs.

[Gregory Torso]

If I can beat the rush hour home tonight I might treat myself to a "going round and telling all kinds of dogs they are adopted, then laughing in their uncomprehending faces" marathon!

[Ferris]

Farting.

Just so fucking raw, with so much timbre, wow.

[JoeyBananaduck]

Around this time of morning I like to trisect a tuna melt using nothing more than a pennywhistle and steely willpower.

[seepage]

...I like to cut cheese in two with a high degree of accuracy. My piece of Mimolette: 59g; your mum's Mimolette: 60g

[Glebe]

This evening, I shall endeavour to teach a family of field mice the ins and outs of shareholding.

[to infect aside]

As the days grow longer, I'll often be seen skittering my way across local surfaces.

[Glebe]

Tonight I will be mainly hanging around Hartlepool, tossing onions at the odd beaver.