The full Taylor Swift concert rider

[Stoneage Dinosaurs]

Dressing room MUST HAVE: TV, Bluray/DVD player, Floor-to-ceiling additional TV, Indoor ski-slope made out of TVs, Landmine testing facility

Snacks available MUST include any 12 of the following: Eggs, lard, chromium crisps, mini chicken kiev bucket, sour grapes, and a selection of small english coins (ALL 20 and 50p coins must be removed before Taylor arrives; NO EXCEPTIONS as Taylor only likes circular coins)

Taylor's dressing room make-up table MUST include hairbrushes, gene-editing technology and a selection of prosthetic masks of her own faces - 3 additional masks of other pop singers MUST also be provided. Acceptable surrogate faces include Lionel Ritchie, Neil Diamond, Terence Trent D'Arby and Kerry Katona

Concert equipment: Taylor requires 157 microphones which must be operational at all times. They must each be provided with 20,000 km of high-definition stereo cable in case Taylor wishes to perform the concert from another world city

[Sebastian Cobb]

[Glebe]

2 x cans of Scrumpy Jack (non-negotiable)
1 x pkt Turkey Twizzlers
1 x box Tunnock's Caramel Wafers
1 x box Tunnock's Tea Cakes
1 x pkt Quavers (flavour? Surprize me!)
1 x the complete works of my famous ancestor, Jonathan Swift

[seepage]

Higgleston?

[asids]

2 x cans of Scrumpy Jack (non-negotiable)
1 x pkt Turkey Twizzlers
1 x box Tunnock's Caramel Wafers
1 x box Tunnock's Tea Cakes
1 x pkt Quavers (flavour? Surprize me!)
1 x the complete works of my famous ancestor, Jonathan Swift

I've also heard she must have a packet of Wagon Wheels, but it must be the old version that in her words was "before they fucking ruined it".

[Glebe]

I've also heard she must have a packet of Wagon Wheels, but it must be the old version that in her words was "before they fucking ruined it".

She also asked for a "Marathon bar," and had to be discreetly informed that they're called Snickers now.

[JoeyBananaduck]

Panda Pops
Literally fucking loads of pickled eggs*


*get what you think constitutes 'loads of pickled eggs'. Quadruple it.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

560ml of ghast slather
Jar of aims
Helmet of a dead miner
The first pube
Potted Dreck

[Glebe]

1 x Kendal Mint Cake
1 x pkt custard creams (any brand)
5 x cans of Irn Bru
1 x vintage copy of Bunty (in mint condition)
Some nuts

[seepage]

Zeon 5600 workstation
Treasury management software
3 x Jolt cola
some nuts

[drummersaredeaf]

Exactly a kilogram of onions (+/- 50g tolerance)
A handwritten testimony from someone (anyone) that has had their muscles measured by Purple Aki

[Glebe]

Dublin concert rider.

3 x pkts Tayto cheese & onion (or King if not available)
1 x box of Lyons tea (80 tea bags... I prefer it to the Barry's, tbh!)
2 x pkts of Silvermints
2 x small bottles of orange Cadet
1 x Johnny Logan vinyl single (YOU decide!)
1 x 1ltr bottle of cheap red lemonade with lots of additives that makes you cough
A copy of Ireland's Own
1 x sliced pan of Brennan's bread ("Today's bread... today!")
1 x large plain bar of the British Cadbury's
The sucky sweets (v. important.)
Bono's spleen
A signed photo of John F. Kennedy

[Kane Jones]

One bowl of M&Ms - shells removed
4 Barometers
half a dozen eggs
a human leg
a clown's shoe
six packets of Embassy Number Ones and a beagle
a flute
ironing board
carrier bag full of freshly cut grass
a duck

[seepage]

20 x "close fan"
21 x fish suppers (batter removed)
42 x Thunderbird 75cl
Some nuts

[Sebastian Cobb]

5 fish fingers (to be screened by assistant for grey bits).

[Glebe]

A barrel of monkeys
Two budgerigars
A Curly Wurly
Ice
Lemons

[Dead Soon]

Bowl of gruel from the local orphanage - ladle included but *must be thoroughly cleaned prior*

Imported cheese from Saudi Arabia

Pay-per-view for the boxing tonight - even if it clashes with the concert and *especially* if this is the case during the Meet and Greet session

A red fucking carpet from the stage to her dresser, stained with the blood of the last person who flouted her NDA

[Glebe]

6 x Chupa Chups
2 x Pez (with Darth Vader and Goofy heads, if poss)
A packet of Bran Flakes
A jar of Newman's Own Pasta Sauce
3 x Crunchies
A Soda Stream machine
Some Panini football stickers

[asids]

It's common knowledge in the industry that Taylor refuses to play any venue that won't provide her with a packet of Hubba Bubba Strawberry and 2L of Tizer. Total fucking diva.

[Shaky]

An Acorn Electron and 2 copies of Chuckie Egg
One mystery item from the bins of actor David Warner ("Surprise me.")
A fanny pack (bottom bag) stuffed with Findus Crispy Pancakes
10,000 Rizla and a map of Dundee

[seepage]

Since that last Super Trouper "incident":

2 x IBM RS/6000 Workstation
Tivoli systems mgmt software
6 x Redbull
Some nuts

[Glebe]

Some nuts
A corn on the cob
5 x Take a Break magazine
2 x cans of Tizer
A VHS copy of Adventures in Babysitting
Packet of three (in case I get lucky tonight!)

[Dead Soon]

1x Bear trap

1x Chamberpot of hand picked rhododendron - hand picked is *essential*, Swift *will* notice the difference if a hydraulic has been used

2x Creme Eggs - season notwithstanding

2x Alaskan Bull Frogs

1x Toblerone - *all* edges to be filed off

[Captain Z]

3 x Taylor Swift lookalikes
1 x Tailor
1 x Swift (uncaged)

[drummersaredeaf]

Wile E Coyote plush toy
Andy Goram Italia 90 sticker
Brand new Breville toasty machine
Four packs of Kerrygold sliced cheese
A 1994 Spring-Summer Argos catalogue

[Glebe]

2 x bags of Swizzels Double Dips
4 x bars of McCowan's Highland Toffee
100 x penny chew selection in a small, thin plastic bag (make sure there's plenty of Black Jacks and Salad Creams, but try and leave out them plasticy UFO things with the powder in them)
3 x Kinder Surprize eggs (there'll be ructions if they're shite surprizes)
1 x bottle of Oasis (Summer Fruits flavour preferable... "Open, pour, be yourself once more!")
2 x clean pairs of cacks

[drummersaredeaf]

Wile E Coyote plush toy
Andy Goram Italia 90 sticker
Brand new Breville toasty machine
Four packs of Kerrygold sliced cheese
A 1994 Spring-Summer Argos catalogue

Apologies, she wants 2 x Andy Goram stickers.

[JoeyBananaduck]

I'm thinking just a fuckload of Pickled Onion flavoured Space Raiders. The good ones before they changed the packaging, innit blood.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Tay Tay is definitely more of a brannigans kind of woman.

[Glebe]

Bag of Monster Munch (anything but pickled onion)
2 x pkts of Fisherman's Friend
A video of the best bits of British wrestling from the '80s!
A Hulk Hogan poster
Set of Matchbox racing cars
Sega Mega Drive with assortment of games (not Sonic though, I won that umpteen times and am sick of it)
A poster of the 1985 Sunderland football squad, signed by all the players
Horror Top Trumps
A action man