Rate the buskers in your town

[sevendaughters]

Don't do them all at once, but when you pass a busker and then return to this forum, mention them here with a capsule review and a mark out of ten.

I'll start. Skinny middle-class lad singing along to his iPod. Outside Debenhams. Doing the emotional hand gestures to sell the John Lewis reading he was giving to 'Free Fallin' by Tom Petty. When he hit the chorus he criminally went down a minor third rather than up, unforgiveable. 4/10

[DrGreggles]

They're all shit. Even the guy with the saw.

[spamwangler]

a one hundred and fifty pounds guitar into a one thousand pounds amplifier

[spamwangler]

They're all shit. Even the guy with the saw.

mate thats a builder

[DrGreggles]

mate thats a builder

Not in fucking Cambridge!

[spamwangler]

[HOT BUSKERS ARE WAITING FOR YOUR JUDGMENT! 1800 50-50-50]

[spamwangler]

a one hundred and fifty pounds guitar into a one thousand pounds amplifier

GOSH THATS SOME HEAVY EQUIPTMENT FNAR

[Bazooka]

The Peruvian panpipe bands wipe the floor with any Wonderwall cunts.

[Neville Chamberlain]

At the busy pedestrian crossing outside my local shopping centre / railway station:

- Brass band comprising five or six cheerful and swarthy Slavic-looking gentlemen. Excellent stuff! 8/10

- Old man with a shopping trolley full of bags; wears a shiny silver jacket and make-up; looks like a wandering busker from a dystopian SF film. I *think* the occasional twanging on his guitar is an attempt at "the blues". Intriguing! 7/10

- Homeless chap with a guitar, surrounded by beer bottles. Can't hear the guitar, wails with drunken gusto, sometimes abuses passers-by. Moderately entertaining! 5/10

- Earnest rapping man. Lots of loping movements and hand-flicking; eyes often closed; ludicrous headwear and facial hair; attracts a considerable female audience. Ridiculous and tedious! 2/10

- Top-knotted cunt with a guitar; sings 80s charts hits in a deadly serious, earnest manner. Deserves to be shat on by a pigeon! 1/10

[greenman]

Bloke in a funny hat who plays classical on an electric piano pretty well most days like a yokel Thelonious Monk, besides that its mostly just when the market is on for Saturdays were there are some decent acts and a lot of folky types, I typically hear a Buckely style cover of Hallelujah at least once a week.

[Stoneage Dinosaurs]

The only busker in Cambridge i ever liked was the toothless old bloke at christmas playing a swinging version of jingle bells on an old violin but just making up a load of twiddly flourishes for the bits that weren't the "dashing through the snow" or "jingle bells jingle bells" bit. I never heard him play anything other than jingle bells and he seemed to be there outside Boots every hour of the daytime throughout the whole of december. Good on you pal

[thenoise]

Local 'legend' Lee Coleman brings his unique style of singing and dancing to the town centre of Truro almost every day

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_PQg2U2Vk_Y

[sevendaughters]

Local 'legend' Lee Coleman brings his unique style of singing and dancing to the town centre of Truro almost every day

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_PQg2U2Vk_Y

nice, I watched a sidebar video called Lee The Legend, lot of effort in that, I respect the shit out of it. Big up yourself Kernow.

[Jerzy Bondov]

Earnest guy with acoustic guitar singing Black Magic by Little Mix, he's changed the gender because he doesn't want to sound like a puff, lending the song a very uncomfortable rapey vibe. 10/10

Get your girl on her knees
And repeat after me, say
Take a sip of my secret potion
I'll make you fall in love
For a spell that can't be broken
One drop should be enough
Girl, you belong to me

[Norton Canes]

Any busker with an amp: automatic 0/10

[Sebastian Cobb]

Guitar Wifie

http://localheroes.wikia.com/wiki/Guitar_Wifie

[thraxx]

Bloke on the RER B train in Paris.  Old flabby balding white guy with a beard, would often cram himself into an already overfull carriage to do over the top, pidgeon english versions of UK hits on a crusty acoustic guitar. Typical preamble:  'This song is called Hey Jude, I didn't write it, it's by a band called the Beatles...' 6/10.

Bloke outside Boots in Nottingham town centre frantically hitting a child's Xylophone.  10/10.

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

Middle-aged bloke on Argyle Street in Glasgow whose repertoire is exclusively devoted to David Bowie.

He only ever plays Dave's most commercial numbers, though. While his monomaniacal devotion to the Dame is quite admirable, my respect for him would rocket if he played the Berlin trilogy in its entirety on his acoustic guitar.

6/10

[alan nagsworth]

Every busker on the London Underground is some flaccid turd with an acoustic guitar doing Brown Eyed Girl. The only acoustic guitar busker worth a shit is the troublingly skinny middle aged woman who seems to actually live near me in Wood Green, but is in Oxford Circus station fairly often, sounding like the death rattle of CocoRosie. I really like her, she's got a good sound.

Two buskers who are out-and-out repellant fucking pricks are the girl I saw outside Hammersmith station a couple years back with a sign that read "BUSKIN' 4 BOOMTOWN" (busking for money to go to a festival, fucks sake) and the guy in full-on punk rock clobber in Camden Town who wanders about with the "HELP GET THE PUNK DRUNK" sign. Actually he doesn't even play an instrument, he's just a total cunt. I hate both of those people so much.

[the ouch cube]

Ineffably tedious smelly hippy "wOOOIIIIIIingg" away on a didgeridoo, and has been doing so since about 1845.

2/10, extra point for not singing

[Gregory Torso]

Bloke outside Boots in Nottingham town centre frantically hitting a child's Xylophone.  10/10.

I've seen him! Nottingham's very own Moondog.

[Neville Chamberlain]

Seen yesterday:

- Twat in a trilby; plays jaunty little tunes on his guitar; whistles a lot; makes faces at passing children. 3/10

[Wet Blanket]

The Peruvian panpipe bands wipe the floor with any Wonderwall cunts.

What is the story behind the ubiquitous panpipe buskers? Are they all miming or what? Where do they get the gear?

I'm fascinated by the industry behind street scams. Like who makes those fake sand dogs?

[jake thunder]

Nottingham:

Loads of girls with that indie-girl voice e.g: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SU0gFPMwP8 - 10/10

Pentatonic blues scale guitarist who hasn't improved in 20 years - 10/10

Romanian Yamaha Keyboardist - 10/10

[sevendaughters]

today outside Debenhams (Worcester's premier busking hotspot): very similar to yesterday, except taller and with more of a jarhead haircut, singing to iPod, looking up lyrics to the song I genuinely didn't recognise on his phone while singing (and whose lyrics seem too generic to google), strong voice, light sex pred vibes, bad song, 3/10

[Golden E. Pump]

Plymouth is full of knock-off Ed Sheerans and folky females. It's bleak.

Been tempted to start a Style Council-style street band with Dr Syntax Head. Shoppers would love us. And by love us, I mean hate us for not covering 'Wonderwall'.

[Misspent Boners]

Ninjah= shit and annoying

Any Cardiffians catch Toy Mic Trevs performance the other day? He was back for 1 day only. He's been living in the valleys and not busy rotting underground like everyone supposed. Apparently he was completely and utterly unaware of his cult like status which I think is wonderful. Like a bargain bin Searching for Sugar Man

[non capisco]

No-one has yet beaten the two people in flea-bitten Sylvester The Cat costumes who were seemingly perpetually miming playing saxophones to an instrumental version of Stevie Wonder's 'Part Time Lover' at the foot of the London Victoria tube station escalators in the late 90s. Yes, CaB, I am mentioning them again and IT WAS DEFINITELY TWO SYLVESTERS, NOT JUST ONE.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Remember once seeing some american bloke with a massive pa, big keyboard and big hunters hat on his head singing Put Your Sweet Lips a Little Closer to the Phone; he'd managed to do a bang on Jim Reeves voice, but the keyboard playing was far more like the Ry Cooder version.

[Head Gardener]

I saw this chap busking outside The Guildhall in Northampton and thought he was really good at banging out the blues,
so like a magic fairy prince I went up and offered him a radio session - which, in the twinkling of an eye he came in and performed
you can see it here and hear it here