TV Programmes You Don't Want to Watch...

[buttgammon]

...because they can't possibly live up to expectations.

I just heard a voiceover bloke on some satellite channel promoting a programme, which he described by saying "Fred Dinenage recounts the time he spent with the Kray Twins in the eighties."

The convulsions of laughter I had at this can't be matched by the actual programme.

[imitationleather]

Fred Dinenage presents quite a few true crime documentaries now. It took me a while to get my head around that.

[Isnt Anything]

How?

[St_Eddie]

I spotted Fred Dinenage in Southampton, 15 years ago.  I lead quite the exciting life.

[BlodwynPig]

He was The Krays' biographer.

[buttgammon]

Dinenage has one of the best Wikipedia photos I've ever seen; it looks like some fucker ambushed him while he was washing his car.

It's very odd to hear of his career change into true crime stuff. I always assumed the usual career path for former children's TV people was local news (which I think he did) and then hibernation.

[Pseudopath]

It's very odd to hear of his career change into true crime stuff. I always assumed the usual career path for former children's TV people was local news (which I think he did) and then hibernation.

He's still hosting ITV News Meridian at the ripe old age of 75.  He's a Brucie in the making.

[studpuppet]

He's still hosting ITV News Meridian at the ripe old age of 75.  He's a Brucie in the making.

Yep - he was interviewing one of the finalists from The Voice last week. Yeah, so I have to watch The Voice - so sue me.

[lgpmachine]

Dinenage has one of the best Wikipedia photos I've ever seen; it looks like some fucker ambushed him while he was washing his car.

The accompanying description is: "Described on Flickr as 'Here's one of the southern TV legend Fred Dinenage pitching in at a free car wash in Hambledon. He's a genuine bloke and did a "How" just for me! It was a special moment'"

[Funcrusher]

He was The Krays' biographer.

He was The Krays' enforcer. Ronnie was once quoted as saying 'Dineage was the only geezer that truly frightened me,'

[buttgammon]

The accompanying description is: "Described on Flickr as 'Here's one of the southern TV legend Fred Dinenage pitching in at a free car wash in Hambledon. He's a genuine bloke and did a "How" just for me! It was a special moment'"

I've only just realised that he's doing a 'how' with a sponge in his hand, and isn't preparing to throw the sponge at some creep with a camera!

[JoeyBananaduck]

I have a soft spot for Fred. It takes a lot of commitment to be 62 for 50 years.

[Jerzy Bondov]

I thought Fred Dineage was dead. Turns out I was thinking of either Fred Dibnah or John Savident (Fred from Corrie). Or both.

[JoeyBananaduck]

Oh, John Savident's dead?

"I'm floating around the ether in a non-corporeal form, I say I'm fl-"

[JoeyBananaduck]

Just looked him up and the erstwhile Fred Elliot appears to still be with us at 80 years of sexy service.

[Jerzy Bondov]

Oh, I thought he died in real life as well. Fucking hell what's wrong with me.

[lebowskibukowski]

Didn't he get his throat cut by a rent boy? Or are my dreams invading my waking life again?

[Hobo With A Shit Pun]

He survived. And he does a grand "Bugger stabbed me in't' throat" face, too.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/2561963.stm

[thecuriousorange]

Dineage has a cracking combover.

[Phil_A]

He survived. And he does a grand "Bugger stabbed me in't' throat" face, too.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/2561963.stm

Fucking hell, was it that long ago? If you'd asked me when that happened I'd have said ten years at the most.

DAYS. GONE.

[Ghughesarch]

He survived. And he does a grand "Bugger stabbed me in't' throat" face, too.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/2561963.stm

The subject of a great throwaway background line in 'Early Doors'

[neveragain]

Do please tell.

[Ghughesarch]

Oh, there's a pub quiz going on n the background of the main action (if "action" can really describe an Early Doors episode). They cut back to it occasionally anyway.
So, answers are being given.
"Question twelve. A young man who sells his body for sex is ... a rent boy. A rent boy"
(Back to a bit of chat in the back room, and then)
"Thirteen. Fred Elliott. Fred Elliott" (knowing cheer from the front bar)

Well, it seemed funny at the time, and a bit naughty too.

[hermitical]

He survived. And he does a grand "Bugger stabbed me in't' throat" face, too.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/2561963.stm

"I suddenly felt somebody come up behind me and whizz me round so I was face down on the bed and then I felt a prick on my throat."