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Indiana Jones V

Started by St_Eddie, April 09, 2018, 07:38:42 PM

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Dr Rock

Quote from: marquis_de_sad on April 27, 2018, 02:34:43 PM
I assumed it was an Argos.

That would make sense because I once bought a desk from Argos and when we opened the box all ghosts came out and our faces melted off. Luckily I had the receipt.

Dr Rock

"RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK" Story Conference Transcript January 23, 1978 thru January 27, 1978 George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, Larry Kasdan

QuoteCut to Washington. Our guy is getting congratulated. The end, sort of, is that he takes the Ark... It's crated up, no one even looks at it. They crate it up put it in an Army warehouse somewhere. That's how it ends, very bureaucratic.

It's sitting down in the government warehouse. The bureaucracy is the big winner in the film.

When people leave the movie they should think that the Army has this thing in one of their thousand giant warehouses, and that's where the lost Ark is.

Wherever the Army keeps that top secret stuff. It could probably stay there for eternity, because it's lost in the bureaucratic shuffle.

AsparagusTrevor


phantom_power

Yeah my impression was that it was lost in this vast array of identical boxes and would probably never be found because of that, by good or evil...but maybe

Mister Six

I also took it to mean that the army has loads of mad, dangerous religious artefacts.

Ferris

Quote from: Mister Six on April 28, 2018, 02:01:21 PM
I also took it to mean that the army has loads of mad, dangerous religious artefacts.

Or Argos do, it isn't clear.

St_Eddie

Quote from: Dr Rock on April 27, 2018, 02:25:49 PM
My impression was that it was a giant store-room where the government would file away loads of unimportant stuff created by bureaucracy and would never be wanted again. So therefore it was the perfect place to hide it. Any word from Lucas or Spielberg as to what they intended?

This is correct.  The dialogue supports it.

Dex Sawash

Wikipedia says it's probably in Ethiopia

mothman

Wow. That rocket sled went a LONG way then, to dump Indy near a nuke test site in Nevada!

MattD

Quote from: biggytitbo on April 26, 2018, 08:20:39 AM
None of the Star Wars films are fit to lick the boots of the first 3, and Raiders especially. They're so much better directed its night and day.

Raiders of the Lost Ark shits all over EVERY Star Wars films put together. And pretty much every other big movie franchise film too.

Ferris

Hey, just watched Crystal Skull. It's alright!

Definitely the weakest of the 4 and I'm not going to watch it again, couple of mad bits that didn't make any sense and I didn't like the reveal of the Magic Argos Warehouse being Area 51 (it was better when it was just an anonymous place I reckon).

Shia LaBouf was ok, and Harrison Ford was still great fun and eminently watchable. Also some of the scenes like the infamous fridge and Shia swinging about on the vines was bloody awful, but I didn't mind the source material of "aliens", and the Russian baddies were fine. John Hurt was pants, shuffling around in his dressing gown and mumbling at trees.

Overall: a generous 6/10.

biggytitbo

Wow, Crystal Skull is 10 years old this week. Weird to think the first 3 films were made in a shorter time span than the time since this came out - http://www.denofgeek.com/movies/indiana-jones/29703/revisiting-indiana-jones-the-kingdom-of-the-crystal-skull

Dex Sawash

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on May 06, 2018, 02:08:50 PM
Hey, just watched Crystal Skull. It's alright!



So did I. The refrigerator said "Lead lined for superior insulation" right in the door jamb, so obviously it is nuke-safe as a bonus. The monkey swinging was really bad.

biggytitbo

QuoteHe claimed that if the fridge was lead-lined, if Indy didn't break his neck and he was able to open the door, he would survive. "The odds of surviving that refrigerator — from a lot of scientists — are about 50-50," Lucas said.

Replies From View

Would have been better if the fridge had carried Indie safely from the radiation zone, he was alive and well inside and ready to keep going, then couldn't open the fucking fridge door and had to just suffocate in there for the rest of the film.

St_Eddie

Indiana Jones and the Thorough Scrubbing of Chernobyl.

COMING TO A THEATRE NEAR YOU, SOON!  RATED PG-13.

saltysnacks

The student protest was a little odd. Would students have staged such a large anti-communist rally in the 50's? I thought they'd be more about maintaining their pompadours and drinking malts.

St_Eddie


So, the creatives are unhappy with the script.  What exactly were they expecting from David "Adequate At Best" Koepp?!  Idiots, the lot of them.  Now they've replaced David Koepp with Jonathan Kasdan.  Oh wow, what an improvement.

Just let this series die already.  I love the first three movies and The Last Crusade was the perfect way to end a trilogy.  Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was a pointless embarrassment and I severely doubt that this fifth installment in the fledgling series will be any better.  Harrison Ford was already too old for the role a decade ago.  It's flat out absurd that they're going ahead with another sequel, now that Ford is in his mid-seventies.

Ferris

Quote from: St_Eddie on June 29, 2018, 12:34:48 PM

So, the creatives are unhappy with the script.  What exactly were they expecting from David "Adequate At Best" Koepp?!  Idiots, the lot of them.  Now they've replaced David Koepp with Jonathan Kasdan.  Oh wow, what an improvement.

Just let this series die already.  I love the first three movies and The Last Crusade was the perfect way to end a trilogy.  Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was a pointless embarrassment and I severely doubt that this fifth installment in the fledgling series will be any better.  Harrison Ford was already too old for the role a decade ago.  It's flat out absurd that they're going ahead with another sequel, now that Ford is in his mid-seventies.

Bollocks, keep churning them out. Even after Han Solo carks it, prop him up Weekend at Bernie's style and keep making them as the fictional decades pass. Indiana Jones and the Nu-Wave Nightmares, Indiana Jones and the Bad Acid Trip, Indiana Jones and the Lactose Intolerance. It's all to play for!

Shit Good Nose

Indiana Jones and the Youtube Vlog, where an ageing Indy gives tips on how best to discreetly empty your colostomy bag in public, making the most of your OAP benefits, low impact exercises to keep you and your body in fine physical health, and mental exercises to keep the brain sharp.  And there's a melting nazi as a nod to the original.

Ferris


St_Eddie

Quote from: Shit Good Nose on June 29, 2018, 12:52:25 PM
...mental exercises to keep the brain sharp...

Indiana Jones and the Sudoku of the Quiet Sunday Afternoon.

Thomas

I think they should keep making them until they reach the 1980s in-universe, when the ultra-elderly Jones meets a young Steven Spielberg, who wants to make films about the old adventurer's life. In the last scene, through CGI de-ageing trickery, the decrepit Jones meets his portrayer, the dashing young Harrison Ford. Indiana Jones and the Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark.

There could be sequels where the rapidly deteriorating Indy serves as on-set adviser to this Harrison Ford as all the biographical films are made, and, eventually, all but a caustic mound of dust in a wheelchair, the real Jones aids the now-elderly Ford as the latter struggles to interact with an actor in a green body suit, to replaced with a youthful CGI version of himself. Indiana Jones and the Indiana Jones and the Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Spoon of Ploff


Quote from: St_Eddie on June 29, 2018, 12:34:48 PM
... Harrison Ford was already too old for the role a decade ago.  It's flat out absurd that they're going ahead with another sequel, now that Ford is in his mid-seventies.

Set in an old people's home: Indiana Jones and the Derek of Doom.

Bad Ambassador

ITS FUNY BECUASE HES OLD

St_Eddie

Quote from: Bad Ambassador on June 29, 2018, 01:29:26 PM
ITS FUNY BECUASE HES OLD

Admittedly, those jokes do get old fast, a bit like Harrison Ford.

Seriously though, people wouldn't be making these tired gags (myself included) if the people of Hollywood weren't laughably trying to still sell a man hurtling towards his 80s as a viable action star.

Shit Good Nose

Quote from: St_Eddie on June 29, 2018, 01:42:24 PM
Admittedly, those jokes do get old fast, a bit like Harrison Ford.

It's not the years, it's the franchise sequels.

...no, wait...

It's not the miles, it's the cragginess.

...hang on...

It's not the tit droopage, it's all the weed I've smoked.


Fuck it - can't remember how it goes.


(just to reiterate I'm one of the few actually defending Ford's current ability - he did a lot of physical stuff in BR 2049)

momatt

I agree, his age wasn't the problem with Crystal Skulls.
It was everything else about the film.

Get a decent script and it'll be fine.

biggytitbo

There's a real risk Harrison Ford will die of old age before this is made, he's already approaching the life expectancy of a man of his nationality.

St_Eddie

Quote from: momatt on June 29, 2018, 02:04:19 PM
I agree, his age wasn't the problem with Crystal Skulls.

I'm being a pedant here but the title is Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (singular), not Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls (plural).  Sorry, it's just I keep on seeing people getting this wrong and it annoys me more than it reasonably should.

Stop getting Jones wrong!