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Thinking of having my barse knocked through (cloaca chat)

Started by doppelkorn, April 09, 2018, 07:53:38 PM

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doppelkorn

Anyone else had this done?

I looked into it about 2006/07 and it looked like the technology wasn't there and you were basically paying for someone to sew a 3-inch drainpipe into your groin. Now they can do a much neater job for about half the cost - less if you go to Poland or somewhere and have it done private.

My brother-in-law had his done last year and swears by it. He's always on the NuCloaca forums, and apparently now's the time to do it before Brexit kicks in. Once we leave, you won't be able to claim for any shoddy work. He said there's quite a few lads have to go back and have fixes within the first 24 months. 1 in 10 get mild to severe "gush hosing", apparently - seems high.

If the 18-year-old me could see me now though, he'd bollock me for having such middle-class, middle-aged pretensions. Look at granddad getting a cloaca fitted!

I DGAF tho. Imagine crawling ashore onto a beach in Trinidad, using the light of the moon as your only guidance, then shuffling over the sand before digging a hole using your hind flippers and then sliding 20-40 golf-ball-sized eggs out of your brand-new, made-in-Wroslaw ovipositor. What a rush!

spamwangler

yea, but what if it goes wrong?

imagine, youre in deepest darkest Trinidad, no medical insurance will cover you because of your arse-gmentation experiments

prolapsed in a hole on a beach with half your guts hanging out the back of you like some sort of gore-core melted jack-in-a-box

writhing around in agony, thinking about how youre going to have to find a back-street botbortionist to stich you back up like an old sheep

hoping he doesnt upload a low quality video of your pulsating purple bridal train to YouProlapse with a title like

UK_EGG_TOURIST_MEDICAL_CLOACKABACKFIRE_BUM_SPLURGE_DISASTER .AVI


hamfist

minefield mate, loads of shady practitioners out there. my pal merrel had one done on the cheap and it's been like a stagnant pond ever since. his brother got it done in thailand and he's confined to a recumbent bicycle now. all i'm sayin is take care. pm me if you want.

Glebe



hamfist

Quote from: Glebe on April 09, 2018, 09:19:47 PM
You can get it done in Poundstretcher, £1.59.

they're called Moundstretcher now, since they pivoted to genital landscaping




Glebe