Putting your foot in it like a proper fucking prannock

[alan nagsworth]

When was the last time you said something to someone that was deeply upsetting, offensive or downright bloody insensitive without thinking or realising it?

One that always haunts me is some years ago when I worked nights in a hotel. At the end of a particularly gruelling and exhaustive shift, around 6am someone turns up to open up the gym near the reception. There was a girl on this morning who'd not too long ago announced that she was pregnant, and so when she came in and walked past the desk, this exchange took place:

Me: "Morning! How's the little 'un?"
Her: "Oh, it's fine."
Me: "Ah, glad to hear it!"

Now, at this point, she stops, looks at me instantly sort of dismayed and forlorn just for a split second, then walks off through the door. Really weird body language. Anyway, I mentioned this to a colleague some minutes later, and he says "no, mate, she had a miscarriage. She probably said 'oh it died', not 'oh it's fine'." My heart fucking sank. She had just basically found herself in an extremely uncomfortable position, being put on the spot, answering the question as flippantly or easily as she felt possible, and I'd immediately and cheerfully expressed that I was pleased to hear it. I'm glad to hear your baby died.

So, I immediately rush in to the gym and profusely apologise and explain myself, and thankfully she understands and is totally okay with it, but fucking hell man. What a feeling. I think I even bought her chocolates or something off the back of that whole shenanigan.

[spamwangler]

What a feeling

[kilgore]

On the way out of a relation's funeral the deceased's brother shook my hand and thanked me for coming along. It was all a bit awkward, so politely I responded with "it's my pleasure".

The look on his face...

[to infect aside]

Housemate is going through a bad patch and I offered him a continental treat that looks like a bit like a tampon, which is something I pointed out.

[Sebastian Cobb]

On the way out of a relation's funeral the deceased's brother shook my hand and thanked me for coming along. It was all a bit awkward, so politely I responded with "it's my pleasure".

The look on his face...

I think I might have been a bit too cheery when asked how I was by some people I hadn't seen in a while at a friend's funeral.

I think most people are just trying to get through it themselves and barely taking in what's going on though. So there's that in your favour.

[kalowski]

Not me, but the landlord of a pub where I used to work. A local gangster had died and the wake was held at his pub. Huge gang of grotty Northern thugs drinking away. He goes to collect a few pots.

"Is that one dead, mate?"

Thought they were going to string him up.

[Funcrusher]

When was the last time you said something to someone that was deeply upsetting, offensive or downright bloody insensitive without thinking or realising it?

One that always haunts me is some years ago when I worked nights in a hotel. At the end of a particularly gruelling and exhaustive shift, around 6am someone turns up to open up the gym near the reception. There was a girl on this morning who'd not too long ago announced that she was pregnant, and so when she came in and walked past the desk, this exchange took place:

Me: "Morning! How's the little 'un?"
Her: "Oh, it's fine."
Me: "Ah, glad to hear it!"

Now, at this point, she stops, looks at me instantly sort of dismayed and forlorn just for a split second, then walks off through the door. Really weird body language. Anyway, I mentioned this to a colleague some minutes later, and he says "no, mate, she had a miscarriage. She probably said 'oh it died', not 'oh it's fine'." My heart fucking sank. She had just basically found herself in an extremely uncomfortable position, being put on the spot, answering the question as flippantly or easily as she felt possible, and I'd immediately and cheerfully expressed that I was pleased to hear it. I'm glad to hear your baby died.

So, I immediately rush in to the gym and profusely apologise and explain myself, and thankfully she understands and is totally okay with it, but fucking hell man. What a feeling. I think I even bought her chocolates or something off the back of that whole shenanigan.

This could be a scene penned by Ricky Gervais if you were dressed as Spider Nagsworth.

[St_Eddie]

Most recently; down the pub last week, I likened a friend's husband to being Fred West because he momentarily put on a county accent, for a joke he was telling.  I was drunk and had been watching a documentary about Fred West the previous evening.  It didn't go down well.  Nobody understood what I was referring to, least of all him and everyone thought that I had just basically likened him to Fred West for no apparent reason.  There was a lot of "Mate."' being directed my way.  I awkwardly explained myself after umming and erring for a bit.

I think I even bought her chocolates or something off the back of that whole shenanigan.

I suppose it would have to be chocolates.  I can't imagine that Clintons does a range of 'sorry I expressed gladness at your baby dying' cards.

[BlodwynPig]

Called the bride a whore in my best man's speech in front of Irish family

[wooders1978]

There was an older couple (60s'ish) at work and she sadly got made redundant last year but I'd heard she got herself a flash new job so I was asking the old boy how she was doing etc etc talking about her a lot to him, completely missing all the cues he was giving me to drop it up until the point when he admitted he didn't know she'd got a new job as she left him for a new bloke 6 months ago... apparently very common knowledge around the building and she's somewhat of a taboo subject - the dangers of not being a gossip in the office

[lebowskibukowski]

At school once we had an assembly where the local vicar introduced a special guest who was going to perform for us. Obviously expecting some sort of shite boy band/bland solo singer that was going school to school in the back of a small van, we were somewhat surprised to be presented with a short Vietnamese man who had been sadly blinded in the war playing some sort of Casio keyboard. After a couple of nimble interpretations of yer basic pop standards, the vicar asked the assorted crowd of thirteen year olds if they had any requests. Thinking I would be a bit of a wag, I figured that the last thing that the vicar would want to hear would be some hard rock or, even better, some sort of horrible unlistenable metal noise. You could have heard a pin drop when a voice (sadly mine) shouted out "Napalm Death".
Ever had a death stare from a man of the cloth? It's very uncomfortable

[non capisco]

At school once we had an assembly where the local vicar introduced a special guest who was going to perform for us. Obviously expecting some sort of shite boy band/bland solo singer that was going school to school in the back of a small van, we were somewhat surprised to be presented with a short Vietnamese man who had been sadly blinded in the war playing some sort of Casio keyboard. After a couple of nimble interpretations of yer basic pop standards, the vicar asked the assorted crowd of thirteen year olds if they had any requests. Thinking I would be a bit of a wag, I figured that the last thing that the vicar would want to hear would be some hard rock or, even better, some sort of horrible unlistenable metal noise. You could have heard a pin drop when a voice (sadly mine) shouted out "Napalm Death".
Ever had a death stare from a man of the cloth? It's very uncomfortable

This thread is already GOLD.

[neardark]

You made that worse with the apology and chocolates. She will have realised you misheard and forgotten about it but the apology and chocolates prolong it.

[Rich Uncle Skeleton]

"I am delighted that your baby is dead."

[Utter Shit]

This happened in a group chat yesterday. I asked a guy on my football team why he hates 'the Argies' so much. I assumed my Falklands comment was rhetorical.

[Paul Calf]

Hating Argentinians because his uncle died in a pointless war is far dumber than the honest mistake you made.

[Cuellar]

MY partner was out for some work drinks and someone offered a quite senior colleague a drink and he said no thanks because he was 'ill'. My partner, sensing an opportunity to bond with a high-up jumped in and said

"Oh! I'm ill too, have you got this cold that's going around?"
"Parkinson's"

Ah.

[Blinder Data]

I think I might have been a bit too cheery when asked how I was by some people I hadn't seen in a while at a friend's funeral.

I think most people are just trying to get through it themselves and barely taking in what's going on though. So there's that in your favour.

Did this at my mate's mum's funeral. Loads of people who I hadn't been in touch with for years turned up and it was really nice to see them. I had to leave early so, a few pints down, emotional but feeling positive after some reconnections, trying to transform these complicated feelings into words, I bade goodbye to the bereaved and said "it was a good day".

Your mum's funeral was a good day for me mate, cheers

[bgmnts]

Called the bride a whore in my best man's speech in front of Irish family

Is she?

[Small Man Big Horse]

It was seventeen years ago but one time a woman came in to work wearing the same clothes from the night before. I didn't spot this, but a colleague did and needled her about it until she confessed she'd had slept with another workmate, a guy called Simon. I didn't think and just said "Oh god, he's the one obsessed with anal sex", and she went bright red and fled the room in tears.

[lebowskibukowski]

When I was briefly out of work in early 2000's, I signed up with an agency and dropped into various businesses as a storeman/customer service type, so I would never meet the managers before I started. Ten minutes into my first day at one particular warehouse, I was introduced to my fat manager. He was wearing one of those open boots with swadding around his foot that looked like bandages. We engaged in some small talk, which turned out to be very brief indeed. After learning each others names, I thought I would start with some light, good-natured banter and pointed to his foot.

"Skiing accident, was it?"

"Diabetes"

I somehow ended up staying for four years.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Called the bride a whore in my best man's speech in front of Irish family

I didn't notice at the time because I was shitting it about doing my own speech when I was best man at a mates wedding (to quite a big woman) the father of the bride saw fit to chuck in a few jokes about her weight and how as a child she tried to eat everything.

We later found out the brides mum confronted him on the night before the wedding on him being a bit odd of late and he decided that it was a good a moment as any to announce to her he was having an affair and planning on leaving her for her.

I didn't know any of that at the time, but I did get a strong sense of him being a prick.

[Danger Man]

I was teaching a class in a Japanese university and made a piss weak joke about a woman who had been abducted by North Korea, as it happened to be in the news that week.

She was abducted from a small island on the other side of the country where the population was about 50,000.

One student wasn't laughing but you can't please everybody. She stayed behind after class and told me that she was from that island and was a family friend of the abducted woman. I felt my job flash before my eyes but after ten minutes of apologising she was ok.

[BlodwynPig]

Is she?

not at all :(

[momatt]

I'm glad to hear your baby died.

If it makes you feel any better, this story made me laugh quite a lot.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

His Uncle was out there in 66

[The Lion King]

I laughed out loud when my family were making a teary official goodbye to my grandfather who was being cared for at home by macmillan nurses. My sister had a right go at me afterwards and I explained it was the same as when we were kids I'd crack up when being told off....a nerves thing I guess.  It happened at the same time my grandmother started wailing so must have initially sounded like I was breaking down crying too, but no, manic stifled laughter.

[Small Man Big Horse]

When my Uncle Dave was dying of cancer a few years back he told us how "A man from the Marsden had visited", the Royal Marsden being a well known hospital close to where we were. However my Mum misheard and thought he'd said "Mars", and made a huge amount of jokes about this throughout the visit, whilst Dave and I swapped pained glances. She still tells that story to this day, presuming that Dave had had a particularly vivid dream or nightmare, whilst I wince each time.

And here's a post from 2009:

...When I was running a fish and chip shop in my early twenties the owner died. His daughter who lived above the shop was distraught, understandably, and we'd been told not to mention death or anything related to it or it would just set her off. It's actually quite difficult over a long period of time, you'd have to stop yourself saying even little things like "I'm dying for a piss" around her, but we managed it for about two weeks until one day whilst I was mopping the floor she came in to the shop, and my colleague said "Don't kick the bucket, Heidi." Cue much crying and calamity.

It wasn't funny at the time, obviously, but we couldn't help but chuckle a bit a few hours days later.

[St_Eddie]

I laughed out loud when my family were making a teary official goodbye to my grandfather who was being cared for at home by macmillan nurses. My sister had a right go at me afterwards and I explained it was the same as when we were kids I'd crack up when being told off....a nerves thing I guess.  It happened at the same time my grandmother started wailing so must have initially sounded like I was breaking down crying too, but no, manic stifled laughter.

Urgh.  I had this at my Gran's funeral service.  My Sister and I were sat in the front row of the packed church (both of us in our mid-twenties) and as the vicar was reading her eulogy, my Sister and I both started setting each other off on a laughing fit.  There was no reason for it other than nerves.  Both of our shoulders were going up and down like pneumatic drills and the occasional snort of stifled laughter simply couldn't be contained, despite our best efforts.  I literally had tears rolling down my face but not the same kind of tears as the majority of those attending.  It went on for 15 minutes but felt like an eternity and was absolutely horrendous.

Truly the stuff of nightmares; not being able to exit the church and being in full view of the vicar and everyone else behind us.  It's right up there with the worst things I've ever done.  Fucking shameful.  Everyone was too polite to mention it afterwards but they knew.

[boki]

Called the bride a whore in my best man's speech in front of Irish family

Haven't those people ever heard of closing a god damn door?