Dying

[Depressed Beyond Tables]

He was terrified of his dad and relived his assaults ever day. He was shared wth other paedophiles and subjected to years of horrendous abuse. He would often say that he died when he was 3, when the abuse began. It might be beyond my strength to attend the inquest but by Christ I will provide a statement that names the scumbag.

This is a very sad situation. My deepest condolences.

Re: The inquest. Did Michael leave any strong evidence that this abuse happened? Are there posts of his anywhere that suggest anything like this? I haven't trawled his posts.

I imagine you'll have a very hard time without evidence and won't it just come down to your word versus theirs? The fact that one of Michael's last posts is an attack on you having schizophrenia doesn't bode too well either.

This is just a heads up so that you are as well prepared as possible and can give yourself the best shot at justice. Best of luck.

[massive bereavement]

If the story is true, the father had connections with other abusers, in which case it's possible he may already be known to the authorities or on their radar. He may still be active.

If she has any doubts, for whatever reason, she could say something like "He told me he was regularly sexually abused by a close family member" and then leave it to them to pursue it further. If nothing comes of it, nothing comes of it, but it wouldn't seem right for her to have to keep this to herself for the rest of her life if she's convinced that it is the truth.

[neveragain]

This is all horrific. Rest well Michael and I hope you can find some comfort here Blathermouth. Remember how happy you made him.

[Depressed Beyond Tables]

If she has any doubts, for whatever reason, she could say something like "He told me he was regularly sexually abused by a close family member" and then leave it to them to pursue it further. If nothing comes of it, nothing comes of it, but it wouldn't seem right for her to have to keep this to herself for the rest of her life if she's convinced that it is the truth.

Agreed. Well there may only be one go at this inquest so it's important that she gives it her best shot, including everything that may be relevant.

[Pdine]

If the story is true, the father had connections with other abusers, in which case it's possible he may already be known to the authorities or on their radar. He may still be active.

This is a very good point, and it may well be worth ringing Childline for that reason. I did this many years ago for an adult who suffered historic abuse and didn't feel able to themselves. I expected them to be funny about an adult calling but in fact they were fantastic, and involved the police etc without the actual victim having to do that much extra painful work. The guy was still abusing, the police discovered, twenty five years later.

[Isnt Anything]

Christ. I thought he was part of the furniture. I've been here over a decade and seen so much funny stuff from him I assumed he'd been around forever!

Yes when i checked his profile a few days ago i was equally shocked for the same reason.

[garbed_attic]

I only just read this thread. My deepest of condolences. Michael's posts always made me smile.

[Sin Agog]

I know this is just me being a total narcissist, but I can't help but think that some of us (me) may have unwittingly driven Michael away from his only lifeline, blabbermouth.  My granddad was exactly the same type as his dad, going around converting hearty and healthy young souls into the living dead for the rest of their lives, and then when confronted on it, conveniently saying, "I spoke to God and He forgave me."  I really hope you're drawing some comfort from your family, blabbermouth. You sound like the type of bubbly person who breathed life into his final years the way no one else could. :(

[Cerys]

*Blathermouth.  Which explains the bubbliness.

[bim sherman shirts]

Such an astute observation. Stuck in my mind ever since.

https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,52786.msg3253783.html#msg3253783

[Maow]

Total empathy from me to Blathermouth and others on the forum reeling from this. I personally understand the way that the wounds of childhood can be inescapable for adults. I'm sorry. Neil/Barry, I know you've dealt with this situation more than once. I hope you're okay.

Such an astute observation. Stuck in my mind ever since.

https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,52786.msg3253783.html#msg3253783

Great post.

[tookish]

I'm so sorry to read this, and that Michael felt he had no way forward. I'm certain that you did everything you could to help him, Blathermouth, so please try not to feel you could or should have done more - there is only so much that other people *can* do in these situations, ultimately the decision of whether to stay or go lies with the person themselves. You are already in so much pain from loss, please don't give yourself the burden of the pain of guilt too. 

Blathermouth, as mentioned by others elsewhere in the thread, I had similar experiences to Michael in my childhood and teens. I don't know how helpful that will be to you, but if you want to talk about what happened to Michael with someone who 'gets it', in as much as anyone who isn't him can, or indeed talk about anything else, PM me and we can talk.

[Depressed Beyond Tables]

https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php?topic=65082.0

[Brundle-Fly]

soz

[pancreas]

[to clear the edit thing]

[Shit Good Nose]

I'm only just catching up with this news - well...fuck.

I didn't have much interaction with Joey/Michael on the forum, but only a few weeks ago he sent me a PM (which I won't post here, as it relates to another active CaBber we both took a disliking to) which gave me much mirth.  I'll be keeping that PM as a memento.

Blathermouth - sounds like you are going through a right old shit storm with all of this.  All too often people forget about those "left behind" after such incidents.  Having myself been at the receiving end of spousal abuse due to mental health issues, I both sympathise and empathise, and totally get where you're coming from with wanting to stick by him despite the abuse.  Oodles of karma to you for wanting to see it through to the end, no matter how painful - many would have long walked by now, and even then (the royal) you wouldn't want to be critical.

As others have said, this place is full of people with historical and current experiences with mental health problems, depression, suicide etc etc etc, so please feel free to air your thoughts as and when you see fit - at least one CaBber will have choice words of wisdom.

[Brundle-Fly]

[to clear the edit thing]

I was reading an old thread last night and enjoyed some of Joey's lighthearted posts. It made me feel incredibly sad. I posted a soppy video and thoughts last night and edited it all away a bit later thinking better of it. This ain't about how I feel. Hope you're coping alright, Blathermouth.