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March 29, 2024, 08:51:35 AM

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Dying

Started by JoeyBananaduck, April 11, 2018, 11:39:03 AM

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Mr Brightside

Quote from: pancreas on April 11, 2018, 05:38:36 PM
Or go gay, amirite.

This is the answer to loads of things

Want a vasectomy - go gay
Annoying bitch wife (aren't they all, eh fellas) - go gay
Want to be generally more fabulous - go gay
Want to dress better - go gay
Want a proper prostate orgasm - go gay get drilled by a massive thick pulsating cock

Genevieve

Quote from: nedthemumbler on April 11, 2018, 05:44:38 PM
The wealth of knowledge and experience amongst this boards posters

Exactly, let's start a new wanking thread.

Quote from: Mr Brightside on April 11, 2018, 05:55:14 PM
This is the answer to loads of things

go gay get drilled by a massive thick pulsating cock

Looks like you're ahead of me there.

Twit 2

Quote from: JoeyBananaduck on April 11, 2018, 05:16:05 PM
I'm here. Thank you for the kind words folks. I don't know what to do.

Don't kill yourself, please. I lost a family member to suicide and have spent the last 10-15 years reflecting on it, and the conclusion is don't do it, ya ninny.

Yes, no suicide please.  The theme from MASH isn't right.  The only time I welcome it is in the new depressive labour-saving dessert I've invented: a pudding that tops itself.

Cerys

Quote from: JoeyBananaduck on April 11, 2018, 05:16:05 PM
I'm here. Thank you for the kind words folks. I don't know what to do.

And there was much rejoicing :)

Next time (if there is one) that you find yourself feeling this way, a useful thing to think about is 'do I want to die permanently, or just until things get better?' - it can help clear through all the general shittiness that's clogging your mind and stop you doing something that you may not actually want to do.

Dr Rock

Don't kill yourself because of a relationship. Leave her, she'll be a memory in a few months. Better than leaving her with the guilt your suicide was her fault.

CALL. THE. SAMARITANS. TEL 116 123. Talk it over with them, cry, let it out, talk about wanting to die whatever. They're brilliant.

See your doctor, and I think Citalopram would help, somaybe ask about that.

Don't kill yourself because of a relationship.

Isnt Anything

#66
Glad to see you are still with us, joey. Please lets keep it that way. :-) Thanks so much for checking back in here and letting us know.

doppelkorn

I'm sorry to see you're having such a shitty time of it Joey. I really like your ramblings in H.S. Art, and would miss them if you were dead. I hope you and your wife can work things out. It sounds like she's in a bad place. I hope you both get the help you need. If you would like to talk, we're here.

bgmnts

I must admit as a fellow constant suicide ideator I definitely want Joey to get better. Its not a good life to be thinking about ending it all, especially if its chronic, no matter how shit or good you percieve your life to be.

Try your best Joeybananaduck!

Glebe

Joey mate, your not going anywhere, not if I have anything to say about it. I know life can be incredibly shit but just please please please DO NOT go there. I've been feeling particularly horrible myself lately, but then I read this and I think NO NO NO NEVER. You brought myself and numerous other posters enormous joy with your wonderful posts and you come across as a lovely fella and I will not sleep tonight thinking you are gonna do anything silly. There is help out there please keep in touch...

littlenell

So glad you have posted, thanks.

You need to keep talking, either on here, or with the Samaritans, or anyone you choose. The friends you think youve lost, try reaching out to the one or two you jmiss most? If you tell them your wife is mentally unwell and its bought you to breaking point, they will be there for you if theyre true friends.
Do you or your wife use drugs/alcohol to cope? AA and Al anon have meetings in most towns UK. you would find empathy there whether youre an addict, love an addict or likely to be an addict.
You are going to feel much happier one day, you just need to trust that for now xx

Dex Sawash

Banana + Duck is the best thing

Cerys


mothman

Personally I think duck goes much better with a cranberry jus, maybe with a spot of port added.

steve98

Quote from: Phoenix Lazarus on April 11, 2018, 06:22:47 PM
Yes, no suicide please.  The theme from MASH isn't right.  The only time I welcome it is in the new depressive labour-saving dessert I've invented: a pudding that tops itself.

We used to have "Mash tops" as kids in the 70s: mashed potatoes with the "Juice" (grease) from whatever crap Mother was frying (cheap chops,  sausages and burgers: 100% super-saturated-fat shit) poured over the peaks. It wasn't so bad if you ate it quick before the mash cooled (otherwise  the grease would solidify on the peaks like glaciers and be disgusting, and, even at aged 5 you'd be thinking - what's this doin' to my infant arteries? I'll likely have heart disease before I hit puberty.).
Glad you're not dead yet mate(forgot your name).

Cerys

Has anyone told you that your avatar appears to have a T-Rex trying to hide behind a plant?

newbridge

1) Therapy for your irrational thinking and probable depression

2) Divorce

In case you feel compelled to argue that it would be "unfair" to her to leave the relationship, keep in mind that you were just contemplating permanently killing yourself instead.

steve98

Quote from: Cerys on April 11, 2018, 11:34:49 PM
Has anyone told you that your avatar appears to have a T-Rex trying to hide behind a plant?

FAO Cerys. You're the first. It's actually a stick insect (not that far away from T-Rex in evolutionary terms.)

Gregory Torso

Quote from: steve98 on April 11, 2018, 11:54:56 PM
FAO Cerys. You're the first. It's actually a stick insect (not that far away from T-Rex in evolutionary terms.)

Mate, that's a daddy longlegs.

Janie Jones

I see it cerys. The crane fly's leg on the leaf looks like the dinosaur's mouth

pancreas

Quote from: newbridge on April 11, 2018, 11:40:40 PM
2) Divorce

Just to say I think I could probably broker a great divorce. I'm not encumbered by anything approaching empathy, and I get bored quickly, so I'm sure it would be all done in two shakes of a lamb's tail. Recommend me to your wives!

steve98

O YEAH CERYS! I SEE IT NOW OOOOO I'M all excited. Like a big fat  green cartoon T Rex? How amazing. I thought you meant the stick insect's legs somehow put you in mind of T Rex's big horns (which I couldn't see at all and assumed you were being fanciful).

[EDIT] I meant Triceratops; it's the one with  horns.

steve98

Quote from: Gregory Torso on April 11, 2018, 11:56:23 PM
Mate, that's a daddy longlegs.

I think I know what my own avatar is.

[EDIT] My mistake, it is a daddy longlegs.

Golden E. Pump

Glad you're still around.

Isnt Anything

Now we're doing avatars, can i just say that yours always makes me think its Bob Monkhouse at first glance ?

finnquark

Quote from: Hobo With A Shit Pun on April 11, 2018, 03:35:41 PM
Jim Davidson goes on living, and we're all better than Davidson, eh?

I've just been reading Jim's searing, post-Yewtree memoir No Further Action, and I have to say that's not the impression I got from the book.

Ferris

Fucks sake, like. Is anyone on here not suffering from ideations and extreme anxiety?*

State of this forum.

*well not me like but some people on here surely

LanceUppercut

Mate I'm going through the exact same thing, moved out of the family home leaving my kids behind as my wife had had enough.

I have a great flat everything I need ,Xbox music all the TV I can watch and a decent job. But fuck me I'm lonely the first couple of months was ok but now 3 months later I fucking hate my life.

Every day I think about suicide , carbon monoxide hanging , shotgun in mouth and I end up in a right state thinking what it would do to the kids.

I went to the crisis center a couple of days and told them every thing,they gave me some antidepressants and I'm going to give them a month and I'll decide what to do from there.

Anyway phone your local crisis center and go and speak to someone,it helped me a lot to get a lot of shit off my chest.

Good luck

the

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on April 12, 2018, 01:57:19 AMFucks sake, like. Is anyone on here not suffering from ideations and extreme anxiety?*

State of this forum.

*well not me like but some people on here surely

The CaB populace who aren't suffering are not checking-in to threads like this to point out that they're not. As that would be the sort of thing an unempathetic arsecrack would do.

Lost Oliver

You always make a decent post and have made me laugh many times. You are not allowed to say goodbye, sorry. Not in the rules.