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Unused saints

Started by Shoulders?-Stomach!, April 13, 2018, 07:54:57 AM

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Shoulders?-Stomach!

St. Gary
St. Rod
St. Nigel
St. Barry
St. Randy
St. Kevin
St. Terry
St. Peb
St. Bradley
St. Craig
St. Trevor
St. Sandy
St. Colin
St. Anus

Spoon of Ploff

St Tonothy of Botolph Claydon (Bucks) where in 1935 it was reported he turned all the wine into piss water over a long weekend celebration of his third cousin's second wedding.

Alberon

St Basil of the Towers mostly remembered for the blessing of the car with the tree branch which is still carried out annually in Torquay. The second half of the ritual where a Spaniard is set on fire and beaten to death with a frying pan has fallen out of favour and hasn't been performed since 1996.

Twit 2

#3
The only people I envy are the confesseors and the biographers of saintly women, not to mention their secretaries. If only we knew all that Peter Olafssson did not say about Saint Birgitta, or Heinrich von Halle about Methchild of Magdeburg, Raymond of Capua about Catherine of Siena, Brother Arnold about the Blessed Dorothea of Montau, and Brentano about Catherine Emmerich, we would be privy to all their secrets, all those forbidden details which would enhance the strange aura of saintliness. If only we could be near them in their moments of doubt and delight in their agony with the perfection of sadism! Rejoice because you cannot soften their fate, and turn their tears into a source of voluptuous pleasure!

What would it be like to be the chronicler of a monastery, to keep a diary of crises and illuminations,  staining its pages with the bloody torments of budding saints? I have often dreamt myself the chronicler of these fallings from heaven to earth, the intimate knower of the ardors in their hearts, the historian of God's insomniacs.

ollyboro

St Jimmy    - Patron Saint of nonces
St Danny     - Patron Saint of geezers
St Taffy       - Patron Saint of burns victims

Shoulders?-Stomach!

QuoteWhat would it be like to be the chronicler of monastery

Shit

Neville Chamberlain

St. Arseface - Patron saint of shoplifting
St. Bollocks - Patron saint of losing a fiver
St. Vulva - Patron saint of being woken up in the night with a scratchy anus
St. Pubes - Patron saint of farting in public
St. Anorak - Patron sign of poorly wiped bumholes
St. Ballbag - Patron saint of shingles

Twit 2


poo



Cuellar

St Ibuprofen

St Bus

St Drudgery

St Work Canteen

St Bus Home

Spoon of Ploff



Sebastian Cobb


purlieu

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on April 13, 2018, 07:54:57 AM
St. Gary
Promotion from legend to Saint forthcoming.

St. Gavin
St. Cramshaw
St. Hob

Alberon

St. Recursive - Patron saint of St. Recursive.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

St Kempston, patron saint of joysticks

Spoon of Ploff

St Caps Lock   - patron saint of PC keyboards in Europe. In the Americas it is St PgDn.

kalowski

Sylvia Saint.
Actually she probably has been used.

Sebastian Cobb

St Utah, patron saint of something good.