Bo' Selecta

[up_the_hampipe]

Here's what Charlie Brooker thought of Bo Selecta, back in 2004 when he could comfortably cast such scorn at television from a safe distance:

Speaking of honest titling, it's about time they came up with a new name for the equally patronising Bo' Selecta(Fri, 10.45pm, C4) - something that better reflects the show's contents. Something like Witless Pipdribble, perhaps, or Astronomically Dismal, or just plain Shit.

Earlier this year, I sat on the Bafta jury for Best Comedy Programme. Bo' Selecta didn't win, but it was one of the four final nominees. Why? Because the rules stipulated there had to be four nominees. No one really wanted Bo' Selecta to be there. That's how bad it is.

(For what it's worth, I wanted Harry Hill's TV Burp to get the recognition it deserves, but the rest of the panel considered it worse than Bo' Selecta - the philistines. They also outvoted me by nominating BBC2's Double Take, perhaps the most dismally pompous "comedy" series I've ever seen.)

Anyway, what's wrong with Bo' Selecta? How long is a piece of string? It's just amazingly, hideously, unacceptably, reason-defyingly awful: a 45-minute vomit of mirthless swearing and canned laughter, aimed squarely at the kind of cow-brained retard who spends 98% of their waking life wondering which ringtone to download next. We should be rounding these people up and chemically neutering them, not broadcasting shows in their honour.

Perhaps most frustrating of all, there are some GENUINELY funny ideas amidst all the crap. It was funny once (and precisely once) to see Craig David talking with an unlikely northern accent and caring for a pet kestrel. But that seems like a very long time ago, and now all we're left with is a worthless, offensively feeble show that purports to mercilessly skewer the cult of celebrity, but actually crawls along behind it on hands and knees, begging to kiss its bumhole clean.

Ooooh, pleeeease Patsy Kensit - will you appear on our show? In a series of crashingly unfunny sketches? So you haven't got a comic bone in your body - so what? You're faaaamooousss, mmm, mmm, kissy kissy kiss kiss.

Christ, it's just plain EMBARRASSING. If I worked on Bo' Selecta, and my parents asked me what I did for a living, I'd lie and say I sat in a dustbin giving blowjobs for pennies. Just to retain some dignity.

Even in all that bile, he admits that some of the ideas are funny. Keep fighting the good fight, Leigh!

[Malcy]

Not a huge fan of Keith Lemon. Find him at his funniest when he appears on This Morning from time to time. I saw Leigh Francis getting interviewed for a Star Wars documentary a long long time ago and he seemed like a quiet, shy and quite down to earth person. It was such a change from Avid.

[studpuppet]

The day in the life of Craig David where he gets into an argument with Daniel Bedingfield over the intellectual property rights of singing your own name in songs is inspired.

I can no longer hear Craig David's name mentioned without launching into a Pavlovian rendition of them in the studio: "CAR-AIG DAVID! (DANIEL BEDINGFIELD)"

[Bazooka]

Yes I really liked it at the time, because it really worked then, especially that era of celebrity and reality TV phenomenon, before ITV made 6 channels dedicated to the genre, no irony where Celebrity Juice ended up.

But re-watching I don't get the tickle, but credit where credit is due, it was fresh, puppet face mad (cappery)?

[SavageHedgehog]

I didn't realise Craig David now claims his constant griping about Francis was a PR Stunt. Do we believe him?

[tenmen]

Here's what Charlie Brooker thought of Bo Selecta, back in 2004 when he could comfortably cast such scorn at television from a safe distance:

Speaking of honest titling, it's about time they came up with a new name for the equally patronising Bo' Selecta(Fri, 10.45pm, C4) - something that better reflects the show's contents. Something like Witless Pipdribble, perhaps, or Astronomically Dismal, or just plain Shit.

Earlier this year, I sat on the Bafta jury for Best Comedy Programme. Bo' Selecta didn't win, but it was one of the four final nominees. Why? Because the rules stipulated there had to be four nominees. No one really wanted Bo' Selecta to be there. That's how bad it is.

(For what it's worth, I wanted Harry Hill's TV Burp to get the recognition it deserves, but the rest of the panel considered it worse than Bo' Selecta - the philistines. They also outvoted me by nominating BBC2's Double Take, perhaps the most dismally pompous "comedy" series I've ever seen.)

Anyway, what's wrong with Bo' Selecta? How long is a piece of string? It's just amazingly, hideously, unacceptably, reason-defyingly awful: a 45-minute vomit of mirthless swearing and canned laughter, aimed squarely at the kind of cow-brained retard who spends 98% of their waking life wondering which ringtone to download next. We should be rounding these people up and chemically neutering them, not broadcasting shows in their honour.

Perhaps most frustrating of all, there are some GENUINELY funny ideas amidst all the crap. It was funny once (and precisely once) to see Craig David talking with an unlikely northern accent and caring for a pet kestrel. But that seems like a very long time ago, and now all we're left with is a worthless, offensively feeble show that purports to mercilessly skewer the cult of celebrity, but actually crawls along behind it on hands and knees, begging to kiss its bumhole clean.

Ooooh, pleeeease Patsy Kensit - will you appear on our show? In a series of crashingly unfunny sketches? So you haven't got a comic bone in your body - so what? You're faaaamooousss, mmm, mmm, kissy kissy kiss kiss.

Christ, it's just plain EMBARRASSING. If I worked on Bo' Selecta, and my parents asked me what I did for a living, I'd lie and say I sat in a dustbin giving blowjobs for pennies. Just to retain some dignity

.

Even in all that bile, he admits that some of the ideas are funny. Keep fighting the good fight, Leigh!

[Schnapple]

Not a huge fan of Keith Lemon. Find him at his funniest when he appears on This Morning from time to time. I saw Leigh Francis getting interviewed for a Star Wars documentary a long long time ago and he seemed like a quiet, shy and quite down to earth person. It was such a change from Avid.

As somebody has previously highlighted earlier in this thread, the early series of Bo Selecta really seemed to demonstrate a love for film and television. The parodies were always detailed and affectionate, and captured the tone of whatever they were taking aim at. Fair fucks to LF for his approach in keeping his private life private, and allowing Keith Lemon to be as crass as possible. I wonder if many people watching ITV2 even clock that it's a character? I know that my Grandmother doesn't!

[Rolf Lundgren]

Not a huge fan of Keith Lemon. Find him at his funniest when he appears on This Morning from time to time. I saw Leigh Francis getting interviewed for a Star Wars documentary a long long time ago and he seemed like a quiet, shy and quite down to earth person. It was such a change from Avid.

I don't get the Keith Lemon character but I'm amazed at how well he's done at getting recommissioned for all kinds of series. Good luck to him.

It's a shame that he doesn't really go back to his other character work. Bo Selecta was one-note, tawdry and all the rest of it but as others have mentioned it was still bloody funny at times. I couldn't watch them now because the joke wears thin but there was enough daft stuff in it to entertain like Jack Osbourne describing everything as brown bread.

[phatfill]

As somebody has previously highlighted earlier in this thread, the early series of Bo Selecta really seemed to demonstrate a love for film and television. The parodies were always detailed and affectionate, and captured the tone of whatever they were taking aim at. Fair fucks to LF for his approach in keeping his private life private, and allowing Keith Lemon to be as crass as possible. I wonder if many people watching ITV2 even clock that it's a character? I know that my Grandmother doesn't!

i am that somebody .I have always thought the above and defended Bo selecta from accusations of being witless shit by saying its well observed witless shit.  but I've always  wondered why no one ever mentions he's an amazing artist ,did all the early artwork,costumes and  series 1 and 2 drawings which i loved and show skill not many people have but instead hes keith lemon ,life is odd.

[Oops! Wrong Planet]

Name one comic genius who's publicly tweeted Happy Birthday to his wife.  https://twitter.com/LeighFrancis/status/978581104939675653

I mean, really Fleabag.

[Black Ship]

What the fuck has happened to CaB? When I stuck up for Leigh Francis back in the day, you guys shat on me like I was the last empty portaloo at a chilli and fig eating festival.

He had Sunday lunch up where I work a few months back, unfortunately the same day we had a large christening party. Cue lots of pissed up folks trying to photos of him and his family having dinner, despite efforts from our floor staff to shepherd them away. Apparently he was a bit little grumpy about this, but still left a pretty good tip.

Also yeah, he and his wife have been married for about 15 years and have been together since they were both in their late teens, so there you go. 

[Dr Rock]

The third series was still shit.

[dontrunyoullfall]

I liked the bits Leigh Francis used to do on Popworld. After that, not so much.

[checkoutgirl]

he and his wife have been married for about 15 years and have been together since they were both in their late teens, so there you go.

Not sure how germane that is to the subject. I don't know what period you are talking about, possibly before I was on CaB, but I've always stuck up for Francis. I disagree strongly with Charlie Brooker and I don't see him as some wise sage whose opinion is infallible. He hated Monkey Dust as well and I think he was wrong on that too.

I haven't watched series after series of Bo Selecta but the opinion that the first couple of series were decent and the third was rubbish sounds about right. It's not for everyone but he has done some very inspired lunacy in his time. Some of his ideas are amazing while simultaneously being easy to dismiss, I'm not sure why. I suppose that style of surreal light entertainment satire can be quite polarising. I mean I love early to mid period Vic and Bob but the majority of the populace probably don't understand it at all and therefore despise it.

Even the joke where the bear gets a boner and repeatedly says "Christine Hamilton, Christine Hamilton" to himself in an attempt to reverse the arousal, that's top stuff. Some of his dialogue, phrasing and accent work is up there with the most inspired comedy I've ever seen. He certainly has carved out a unique place in comedy.

As for Keith Lemon, that's a mixed bag. I've only seen one episode of his show and it was amiable enough middle of the road familyish style comedy. Not quite Shooting Stars but not far off either. A bit like TV Burp, a comic who has done better work settling into more mainstream work for good money but still decent enough. On the other hand the Keith Lemon movie was supposed to be an atrocity, although I've never seen it.

I don't think it's that relevant but I'm glad he leaves decent tips in restaurants particularly as he's probably worth 10 million squid. I'm only worth 10 quid and I leave decent tips.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

I too am a bit surprised at how warmly the show is being recalled in this thread. I can easily imagine it would have been savaged, way back when. The membership has changed a lot over the years though. Many of the more curmudgeonly types have naffed off since it was broadcast.

My friends and I loved it at the time, but then, we were teenagers. It lost some of its shine for me when I showed an episode to my older sister - thinking she'd love it - only for her to dismiss it as nothing more than a load of swearing. That may have been the maligned third series though. She and I generally like the same comedy things, so, now I'm older (and possibly wiser) maybe I'd be unimpressed by it as well. On the other hand, she didn't like 15 Storeys High or Rick and Morty either.

[c]

I disagree strongly with Charlie Brooker and I don't see him as some wise sage whose opinion is infallible.

I'm really shocked by the quality of that review. I was a massive Brooker fan back then - I bought his collected review books and everything - but this is so poorly written.

"Witless Pipdribble, perhaps, or Astronomically Dismal, or just plain Shit."

"Anyway, what's wrong with Bo' Selecta? How long is a piece of string?"

"Christ, it's just plain EMBARRASSING. If I worked on Bo' Selecta, and my parents asked me what I did for a living, I'd lie and say I sat in a dustbin giving blowjobs for pennies. Just to retain some dignity"

"Ooooh, pleeeease Patsy Kensit - will you appear on our show? In a series of crashingly unfunny sketches? So you haven't got a comic bone in your body - so what? You're faaaamooousss, mmm, mmm, kissy kissy kiss kiss."

There's nothing smart or interesting or witty about it.

[Utter Shit]

I can remember sticking up for Bo Selecta/Celebrity Juice a few years ago and, while it was still mostly panned (particularly Celebrity Juice) there were a few people sticking up for it.

Couple of old topics on Francis' work if anyone wants to see how opinions have changed (or not).

https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,1453.0.html
(2004)

https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,24512.30.html
(2010)

https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php?topic=45371.0
(2014)

https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php?topic=46143.0
(2015)

[up_the_hampipe]

I'm really shocked by the quality of that review. I was a massive Brooker fan back then - I bought his collected review books and everything - but this is so poorly written.

"Witless Pipdribble, perhaps, or Astronomically Dismal, or just plain Shit."

"Anyway, what's wrong with Bo' Selecta? How long is a piece of string?"

"Christ, it's just plain EMBARRASSING. If I worked on Bo' Selecta, and my parents asked me what I did for a living, I'd lie and say I sat in a dustbin giving blowjobs for pennies. Just to retain some dignity"

"Ooooh, pleeeease Patsy Kensit - will you appear on our show? In a series of crashingly unfunny sketches? So you haven't got a comic bone in your body - so what? You're faaaamooousss, mmm, mmm, kissy kissy kiss kiss."

There's nothing smart or interesting or witty about it.

Yeah, I'm sure he'd probably wince at that now, especially calling fans of a silly comedy show "cow-brained retards".

[bgmnts]

Bit rich of Brooker to write that with all the peurile mock wanking gags in Screenwipe.

[Bogbrainedmurphy]

Still find myself saying "mother fuckin' spoon lover" now and again, sometimes in company too. Then you have to go through the rigmarole of explaining it and dealing with the completely disinterested reactions after.


Bubbles was lovely though. "She ain't got an inch of hair on her goddamn body"

[chrispmartha]

Still find myself saying "mother fuckin' spoon lover" now and again, sometimes in company too. Then you have to go through the rigmarole of explaining it and dealing with the completely disinterested reactions after.


Bubbles was lovely though. "She ain't got an inch of hair on her goddamn body"

Took me a few years to realise Bubbles was Caroline Flack!

[Sgt. Duckie]

Took me a few years to realise Bubbles was Caroline Flack!

Just been enjoying the first series again thanks to this thread, and Bubbles is simply jawdropping.

[bgmnts]

Took me a few years to realise Bubbles was Caroline Flack!

No idea.

Good shout!

[hedgehog90]

I love this clip:

Pete Doherty, The Jammy Dodger

Not sure if it's from series 3 or the one that came after...
Surprised no one's mentioned 'A Bear's Tail' yet. I never watched it, on account of not bothering.

[Rolf Lundgren]

Surprised no one's mentioned 'A Bear's Tail' yet. I never watched it, on account of not bothering.

Me neither. Seemed to be one joke of his nob popping up and didn't fancy finding out how you build a series around that.

[madhair60]

I love this clip:

Pete Doherty, The Jammy Dodger

Not sure if it's from series 3 or the one that came after...
Surprised no one's mentioned 'A Bear's Tail' yet. I never watched it, on account of not bothering.

This is from Bo in the USA, which was the best series by virtue of being the most utterly unhinged series, losing the laugh track, just completely off the wall dream logic shit.

[Black Ship]

This is from Bo in the USA, which was the best series by virtue of being the most utterly unhinged series, losing the laugh track, just completely off the wall dream logic shit.

Bo in the USA has one of the most "WTF?" moments in a comedy series. This exchange from episode 2.

*Verne Troyer and The Bear are sitting at the poolside bar being served by Sasha Merrion*

Verne Troyer: Hey babe, why the long face?

Sasha: It is from my mother's side. She was raped by horse.

*Que awkward silence*

Also the whole Craig David/Donnie Darko weirdness. Then there is this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1z1p3Oy1XG0

[Jockice]

He was "discovered" by Davina McCall and only really got a television career because he buddied up with her. There were celebs popping up as guests on Bo Selecta right from the start as well, so he was never any sort of edgy outsider.

The first time I saw him was doing that Avid Merrion character on some Big Brother offshoot. I just sat there totally puzzled thinking: "is this meant to be funny?" I did watch Bo Selecta if I was in while it was on and had to admit I did find some of it quite amusing. Not The Bear though. That was shit. Incidentally, I showed some of Bo Selecta to a Canadian friend who came over to visit me circa 2009, after a conversation about Craig David. She thought it was hilarious. So there we go.

I've never seen anything with Keith Lemon on it. Just doesn't appeal to me at all.

[checkoutgirl]

The membership has changed a lot over the years though. Many of the more curmudgeonly types have naffed off since it was broadcast.

That seems to be true. When Nathan Barley came out I seem to remember it being destroyed in the old threads here whereas if you asked people on here now they would probably be more receptive.

[Bogbrainedmurphy]

Took me a few years to realise Bubbles was Caroline Flack!

Same! What a lady.