Author Topic: MEDIEVAL DESOLATION  (Read 1698 times)

spamwangler

  • fay bentos
Re: MEDIEVAL DESOLATION
« Reply #60 on: April 16, 2018, 04:07:19 PM »
not sure about this jester stuff, feels a bit like punching down to me

Re: MEDIEVAL DESOLATION
« Reply #61 on: April 16, 2018, 04:47:52 PM »
On one wall of the Roman baths is still visible a mosaic depicting beautiful nymphs, sea creatures and plentiful and exotic foods. Long since ruined, it now support a lean-to roof under which the children shelter from the February rains, chewing morosely on their black bread.

Re: MEDIEVAL DESOLATION
« Reply #62 on: April 16, 2018, 07:09:45 PM »
An early adopter of the potato is summarily bludgeoned by masked agents of the East Anglian Meat Guild.

Re: MEDIEVAL DESOLATION
« Reply #63 on: April 16, 2018, 07:24:52 PM »
A blood-stained chastity belt rusts in a Dundonian ditch.

Gregory Torso

  • sun of the vermin wind
Re: MEDIEVAL DESOLATION
« Reply #64 on: April 17, 2018, 02:48:39 AM »
In Lord Chauncey's Orchard of Pestilence the pustules on the trees are mistaken for ripe cherries by a hamlet of glaucomatous scavengers.

Norton Canes

  • Nuclear know-how, with an element of truth
Re: MEDIEVAL DESOLATION
« Reply #65 on: April 17, 2018, 10:01:27 AM »
Edmund super immissus defaecetur scurra

Re: MEDIEVAL DESOLATION
« Reply #66 on: April 17, 2018, 10:26:00 AM »
Roberte Godefry is settling down to watch "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" on the TV. However, it being mediaeval Wessex, the word "millionaire" in this case refers not to a million pounds, but to a million weeping pustules.

hamfist

  • Furry Asscandy
Re: MEDIEVAL DESOLATION
« Reply #67 on: April 17, 2018, 09:55:25 PM »
The childe cried not, therefore the apothecary drilled unto his head to release the devilles; the childe did perishe.

Re: MEDIEVAL DESOLATION
« Reply #68 on: April 18, 2018, 09:36:47 AM »
"More like the Gayeux Tapestry", laughed the King

Cuellar

  • MUSKATNUSS, HERR MULLER
Re: MEDIEVAL DESOLATION
« Reply #69 on: April 18, 2018, 10:54:55 AM »
A mendicant friar, after months of trudging through disease and bandit ridden countryside, finally reaches Salisbury only to be told at the gates that they're 'full'.

As he turns to go, a gust of wind whips his habit up over his head revealing his arse, cock, and balls to much sniggering.

A serf calls him 'a twat'.

Spoon of Ploff

  • visitors are welcome to Sheerness
Re: MEDIEVAL DESOLATION
« Reply #70 on: April 18, 2018, 11:14:52 AM »
Some drunken Norman civil servants spill mead over page 47 of the Doomsday book, erasing several paragraphs. As a result Simon De Mumfordandsons loses two thirds of his cabbage field acreage and has to sell his eldest child into Slavery.


Norton Canes

  • Nuclear know-how, with an element of truth
Re: MEDIEVAL DESOLATION
« Reply #71 on: April 18, 2018, 11:30:46 AM »
A witch's womb is nailed to a gate

BlodwynPig

  • R.I.P. The Waxwork René
Re: MEDIEVAL DESOLATION
« Reply #72 on: April 18, 2018, 12:29:23 PM »
Two foreign peasants collapse in the centre of Salisbury. Some blame witchcraft, others Hemlock poisoning, but King William blames "those from the East, the Veliky Knyaz" sending an army to Kievan Rus to exact revenge. They are never seen again.

Spoon of Ploff

  • visitors are welcome to Sheerness
Re: MEDIEVAL DESOLATION
« Reply #73 on: April 18, 2018, 01:31:31 PM »
For the second year running Maud the miller's daughter doesn't get invited to the St. Vitus Dance.

Re: MEDIEVAL DESOLATION
« Reply #74 on: April 18, 2018, 05:35:23 PM »
A rightwing serf with ideas above their status defends The Sheriff of Nottingham.

Re: MEDIEVAL DESOLATION
« Reply #75 on: April 19, 2018, 01:49:43 AM »
The only pleasure in Botwulf’s life of feculence and drudgery is to have a good olde medieval wanke whilst gazing upon a line-drawing of a comely milkmaid.  Sadly, one day he accidentally drops the drawing into ‘ye great pissie aqueduct’ and henceforth is reduced to arousing himself by recalling the time that Beardie Bertha’s left teat slipped out of her bodice whilst applying a clyster to the rectum of an constipated hogge.