Author Topic: Morrisons mystery  (Read 3462 times)

NoSleep

  • feat. Keith Jarrett and his singing parrot
    • Space Is The Place
Re: Morrisons mystery
« Reply #60 on: April 16, 2018, 04:10:40 PM »
I still think Morrisons were hiding something. There's a hidden agenda here.

They weren't even hiding the pies, as sight of them is what started this.

All they'll do is sell you an old one from the day before before 9am and fresh ones will go on sale at 9am (but will be hidden before that time). Well, I hope that's what they do.

NoSleep

  • feat. Keith Jarrett and his singing parrot
    • Space Is The Place
Re: Morrisons mystery
« Reply #61 on: April 16, 2018, 04:11:59 PM »
Can't tell if you're joking. If not, 10/10 for a totally irrelevant and unnecessary mention of JC

It's funny because it's true.

Povidone

  • fly with me, lesbian haircut
Re: Morrisons mystery
« Reply #62 on: April 16, 2018, 04:13:45 PM »
Look upon their works, o ye mighty, and despair... ... and then despair further...

Quote
Mrs Gilkes, 51, argued it was easy for allegations to be made because they lived near some of the named witnesses.

She said afterwards: “We’ve got a raw deal. We’re certainly not happy with it. What else can we do?”

Between that and the half baked ('scuse the pun) Morrisons 'agenda' chat they seem to have an infuriating way of saying fuck all.

momatt

  • PAPERCLIPS!
    • instagram.com/m0matt
Re: Morrisons mystery
« Reply #63 on: April 16, 2018, 04:15:55 PM »
"Tony, who has fish and chips three days a week and says he rarely touches pastry, believes Morrisons have a hidden agenda."
Fuck, I just realised this is actually part of the story.  I though you were taking the piss!

Definitely need to form an all-star group with the hungry teenagers, 50-year-old chicken couple, Ron, and the bloke who was punching seagulls.
Don't forget the dismayed jobless teenager!

NoSleep

  • feat. Keith Jarrett and his singing parrot
    • Space Is The Place
Re: Morrisons mystery
« Reply #64 on: April 16, 2018, 04:17:43 PM »
They should have their own Viz strip.

mothman

  • I don't know why
Re: Morrisons mystery
« Reply #65 on: April 16, 2018, 04:43:39 PM »
Don't forget the dismayed jobless teenager!



Won't anyone think of the childr... well, fuck, she must be about 40 by now.

biggytitbo

  • WHAT ABOUT THE GODDAM JAFFA CAKES ASSWIPE
    • theunredacted
Re: Morrisons mystery
« Reply #66 on: April 16, 2018, 04:47:02 PM »

mothman

  • I don't know why
Re: Morrisons mystery
« Reply #67 on: April 16, 2018, 05:03:01 PM »
Crikey, she has let herself go... to an exclusive clinic for gender realignment..?

Blumf

  • Not long now
    • IGNORE ME!!!
Re: Morrisons mystery
« Reply #68 on: April 16, 2018, 05:07:52 PM »
Why aren't we letting this couple negotiate Brexit for us?

Re: Morrisons mystery
« Reply #69 on: April 16, 2018, 05:29:35 PM »
I miss pie culture.

Re: Morrisons mystery
« Reply #70 on: April 16, 2018, 05:56:24 PM »
Anyone else get this vibe?


biggytitbo

  • WHAT ABOUT THE GODDAM JAFFA CAKES ASSWIPE
    • theunredacted
Re: Morrisons mystery
« Reply #71 on: April 16, 2018, 06:06:25 PM »
I can imagine she's very demanding in the bedroom, hitting him with an hairbrush, spitting, sandpaper on his balls etc.

Spoon of Ploff

  • visitors are welcome to Sheerness
Re: Morrisons mystery
« Reply #72 on: April 16, 2018, 06:16:46 PM »
I think it would be really funny if Morrisons were to sell their meat pies between 7.00am and 8.30am and then run out of the meat pies by 8.45am and when Linda and Tony Gilkes turn up at 8.50am all that Morrisons have left are the fruit pies this couple so clearly despise.

"I'm sorry Mr and Mrs Linda grandmother of four and Tony Gilkes" Morrisons would say. "We have run out of the meat pies and willn't have any more in until 11."

I would laugh and laugh and laugh.

mothman

  • I don't know why
Re: Morrisons mystery
« Reply #73 on: April 16, 2018, 06:19:14 PM »
Can we identify their local branch (it may even say so in the article, I'd have to go back and look) and make this happen?

Re: Morrisons mystery
« Reply #74 on: April 16, 2018, 06:22:08 PM »
Please do this.

imitationleather

  • "The French... are famous... for their kissing"
    • http://last.fm/user/ImiLeathr
Re: Morrisons mystery
« Reply #75 on: April 16, 2018, 06:24:44 PM »
It shouldn't be hard to find. How many big Morrisons can there be in Middlesbrough? Surely under twenty.

mothman

  • I don't know why
Re: Morrisons mystery
« Reply #76 on: April 16, 2018, 06:44:10 PM »
Please do this.

We can all chip in for running costs. Repurpose the Sergeathon phone line to collect donations.

But not throw the pies away - we’re not monsters. Must be a homeless shelter we could donate them to.

momatt

  • PAPERCLIPS!
    • instagram.com/m0matt
Re: Morrisons mystery
« Reply #77 on: April 16, 2018, 07:13:54 PM »

Won't anyone think of the childr... well, fuck, she must be about 40 by now.

Jenna is still the first thing to come up if you Google 'dismayed teenager'.
I'd love to know what she'd think of all this cyber-veneration we give her.

She's only 26 years old now!

Spoon of Ploff

  • visitors are welcome to Sheerness
Re: Morrisons mystery
« Reply #78 on: April 16, 2018, 07:17:37 PM »
The great Middlesbrough CAB meet (meat pie) meet 2018. Who ate all the pies? We did!!

mothman

  • I don't know why
Re: Morrisons mystery
« Reply #79 on: April 16, 2018, 07:19:03 PM »
^ I'm THERE.

Re: Morrisons mystery
« Reply #80 on: April 16, 2018, 07:30:00 PM »
Are we sure this whole thing wasn't a set up by Morrisons in order to publicise their new earlier pie availability?

Re: Morrisons mystery
« Reply #81 on: April 16, 2018, 07:33:11 PM »
They've got ovens in store you daft apeths if they run out they make more. 'sake.

im barry bethel

  • Member
  • **
  • to be fair I don't care
Re: Morrisons mystery
« Reply #82 on: April 16, 2018, 07:37:13 PM »
They've got ovens in store you daft apeths if they run out they make more. 'sake.

Grandmother of four Linda Gilkes won't wait 10 minutes for the clock to hit 9 she sure as hell won't wait 35 minutes in a preheated oven at gas mark 7

Re: Morrisons mystery
« Reply #83 on: April 16, 2018, 07:38:48 PM »
They're industrial three-phase and probably half cooked like the shite in greggs. Won't take that long.

Povidone

  • fly with me, lesbian haircut
Re: Morrisons mystery
« Reply #84 on: April 16, 2018, 07:42:42 PM »
Up here Morrisons proudly state that they use Bell's pies which, as anyone who has eaten one will attest, is hardly a sign of quality to be advertised.

Vodka Margarine

  • Television sick and television crazy
Re: Morrisons mystery
« Reply #85 on: April 16, 2018, 07:45:13 PM »
[tag]pies this isn't your time[/tag]

Re: Morrisons mystery
« Reply #86 on: April 16, 2018, 07:46:28 PM »
Up here Morrisons proudly state that they use Bell's pies which, as anyone who has eaten one will attest, is hardly a sign of quality to be advertised.

Aye, used to get served them as a half time snack on the regs back when I played arrows.

Still better than meat paste sandwiches or tinned hotdogs.

Povidone

  • fly with me, lesbian haircut
Re: Morrisons mystery
« Reply #87 on: April 16, 2018, 08:26:12 PM »
Dunno, at least with meat paste and hotdogs you can copmartmentalise and not really think too much about the filth you're eating. Not so easy to do the same when you stick a fork into a Bell's pie and pull out a single bit of grey mystery meat with unidentified tubules hanging off it.

Re: Morrisons mystery
« Reply #88 on: April 16, 2018, 08:29:14 PM »
Who eats a bells pie with a fork?

Povidone

  • fly with me, lesbian haircut
Re: Morrisons mystery
« Reply #89 on: April 16, 2018, 08:31:56 PM »
I was at home, alright. Felt like being civilised. Serves me fucking right.