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Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains

Started by Shoulders?-Stomach!, April 16, 2018, 01:49:39 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

seepage

^ mrs seepage saw it as a sad horse next to some flamboyant lads, on the South Downs, and headbutted it

pancreas

Three nuns agree to be made into a human centipede for Comic Relief.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: Foggy Buntwhistle on September 05, 2018, 09:35:12 PM
Duncan falls over his own socks as he scrambles toward the toilet. Doesn't make it in time.

With the news of his wife giving birth to a healthy baby girl, Duncan cums hard in his PJ.

Twit 2

Three centipedes agree to be made into a human nun for Comic Relief.

BlodwynPig

A person wrote

QuoteThe Gervais episode was spot on for me, despite my misgivings about Gervais's output. It was very nice to see the two particular flavours of misanthropy that Larry and Gervais expound clashing. At least it made a change from the arguably formulaic intra-judeo conflict which takes the form of ad nauseam repetition, cf. 'I know what you're doing. This is a chat-and-cut / this isn't a chat-and-cut / i'm the king of chat-and-cut I know a chat-and-cut.' ect ect

I also liked the moment of self-awareness, cf.
Spoiler alert
Suzy: 'I have no choice [but to invite you]: it's like your some sort of appendage to us.'
[close]
. Brilliant punchline.

The devil wretches at humanities inhumanity.



PlanktonSideburns

NHS Sanctioned deliveroo heart transplant delivery service

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Eric is studying the decomposition of three corpses:

1) Human male, 66
2) Human female, 61
3) Dog, 8

Shit, he strikes through Dog in his jotter and writes "Karl".

SteveDave

Pete Townsend logs onto the 'Net for the first time in ages surrounded by his close family and friends. 

Shoulders?-Stomach!


Twit 2

A overflowing piss bucket smells of doner meat.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Ted's only nourishment comes from encrusted surfaces.

Twit 2

After eating a wheelbarrow of ice cream, Steve Wright accidentally reads out a spousal death threat on Sunday Love Songs.

Twit 2


Ferris

David Blunkett spends an afternoon trolling the Guardian's comment section.

a duncandisorderly

Quote from: BlodwynPig on September 06, 2018, 06:30:54 PM
With the news of his wife giving birth to a healthy baby girl, Duncan cums hard in his on PJ.

I can confirm that this actually happened.

(no it didn't- I was there for the caesarian & saw the whole thing)

the midnight watch baboon

Adam (from U2) throws a wounded grass snake onto his bumper new Josper grill.

Pingers

Well Doc, what's the prognosis? Give it to me straight.

"You dead, motherfucker"

Spoon of Ploff

A free school drops physics from it's curriculum in favour of Pure and Applied Rule 34.

Shoulders?-Stomach!


Captain Poodle Basher

At Brian's funeral, the vicar describes him as "A cock-hungry cum whore" to the surprise of nobody, least of all his widow and children.

PlanktonSideburns

At the terrible denouement of his first date since Julie passed,
Trevor panics and tries to staunch a stab wound with Haagen Dazs

His eyes turn to glass and tumble out of his head smashing on the floor.


A measly morsel is proffered to a brain damaged pigeon who refuses even the slightest peck.


The meat just falls off the bone, until he is dead.

Pingers

You ask that Unfinished Sympathy by Massive Attack is played at your funeral, as you think it is haunting, emotional but also a bit uplifting. The cover version by Tina Turner gets played instead.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

It's your new prime minister - Pauline

dex

Vince Cable's shuddering climax whilst watching black and white, out of focus pornography.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Three completely unconnected people write online reviews using the word 'hellscape', about Whitby putting green

PlanktonSideburns

A misspelling on a condolences card

Typical, a ghost thinks.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Sylvia's canned beasts in jars, labelled by Kingdom, Phylum, Order, Class...

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Vice President Rod Petrie of the Scottish FA inadvertently discovers a new dogging site while en route to hide his brother's corpse