Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains

[Ferris]

A lad's week in Marbella goes exactly as expected.

[Cuellar]

An all-night brainstorm in the creative team at Walker's results in one idea:

Jizz and Onion flavour.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

A lad's week in Marbella goes exactly as expected.

An errant apostrophe inadvertently describes an even more desolate weekend than intended.

[Ferris]

An errant apostrophe inadvertently describes an even more desolate weekend than intended.

I meant it as the singular (with a nod to the plural), though it is desolate either way.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Fifteen pounds of tract sails downstream, making sure to interfere permanently with 58 ecosystems.

[Captain Poodle Basher]

A spunking cock scrawled on a child's coffin.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

A man stinks of cum in a religious setting.

[the midnight watch baboon]

A beloved gerbil, buried in a crisp packet.

[derek stitt]

Many pallet loads of J.k Rowlings new book 'Harry Potter and the Sophie's Choice' wait, in a shunting yard, for special treatment this Christmas.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

A beloved gerbil, buried in a crisp packet.

The best burial of his entire family, otherwise gassed and cremated by David Attenborough after a 'fucking brutal tbh' night out.

[PlanktonSideburns]

Snorting coffeemate in the work toilets to make the day end faster

[PlanktonSideburns]

A man is gutted to discover a document wherein he is described as 'a danger to himself and no one else'

[PlanktonSideburns]

Jimmy Nail and the Bad Seeds cancel half the tour dates on their 2020 tour after reading a review that describes them as 'defiling a stillwarm grave'

[Cuellar]

A financial advisor has an indifferent Greggs

[Cuellar]

A financial advisor has a superb Greggs

[Cuellar]

A financial advisor has a "life changing" Greggs

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

A man upgrades his Elite Fleshlight Membership to 'Black' status. An extra $5.99 a month, but hey, he thinks. It's my cock. I work hard.

[petril]

A financial advisor has a Spud-u-Like before asking for some overtime to cover for a Ladbrokes relapse

[dex]

A financial advisor has a Spud-u-Like before asking for some overtime to cover for a Ladbrokes relapse

Overtime DENIED.

[Ferris]

After 2 months at the dildo factory, the manufacture of the "adult" products no longer draw any mirth. Row after row of aubergine rubber phalluses drift past his nose, along the conveyor belt and on to the packaging warehouse. Not a hint of a smile.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

The foremost cancer research fellow decides the coin he rakes on slutcam with his horse cock dildo is worth "sacking that shit off frankly".

[Ferris]

Robbie Williams writes an opera.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

A girlfriend tries to splain that the wording of paedophile has "societally changed"

[Pingers]

Alan buys a tube of KY and a butternut squash in Tesco. Cums in his pants before he reaches the till.

[Glebe]

A man discovers a copy of The News of the World from 2004 in the attic. His attention is drawn inexplicably to a photo of Prince Charles and Camilla, and he is suddenly overcome by a strange urge which disturbs yet thrills him. There'll be more than mildew on that paper by day's end.

[PlanktonSideburns]

David Hokney gets an eye test for the first time in twenty years


The look on his face as he scrolls down his own website, seeing it for the first time in bottlethick specs is like an iceberg turning round

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

A youtube commenter calls Alistair Campbell "Legend"

[Glebe]

Shit parents allow their child to run amok in a pharmacy.

[Twit 2]

Monkman and Seagull's Genius Guide to Britain Series 2, and Eric sobs as he riffles through his own sick in a Wigan car park.

[a duncandisorderly]

Monkman and Seagull's Genius Guide to Britain Series 2, and Eric sobs as he riffles through his own sick in a Wigan car park.

stop right there, frankly.