Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

A man pays £60 and waits in line for 3 hours for the chance to boo Morrissey in person

[the midnight watch baboon]

Last night I dreamt I wanked to Madeley again.

[Foggy Buntwhistle]

Richard Madeley masters the art of astral travel. He spends his nights invading strangers dreams and wanking them off "against" their will.

[saltysnacks]

You realise that meditation actually allows you direct experience of the almighty creator, you discover Richard Madeley is the second coming of Christ and exemplifies the divine in man.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

(정우석)Wooseoks Necklace
@WooseoksNeklace
Todays mood is me sitting in bed in my pikachu onesie rewatching pentagon maker while listening to every single one of pentagons ballads and sobbing so much that I cant move a muscle at the end of the day#CubeIsOverParty

[Glebe]

A horse attempts to ride a dog. This results in a cement mixer getting knocked into the path of a wayward tramp, who accidently rams his cider up a nearby pedestrian's nosepipes.

[Chollis]

A 40 foot deep anal fissure in Sedgemoor claims another life.

[PlanktonSideburns]

A lego Monastery is spitefully dismantled by a FUMING future ex dad

[ASFTSN]

Ched scours Character Map in an earnest attempt to invent a fresh racist emoticon.

[BlodwynPig]

A swiss man rues the use of autocorrect after being banged up for 3 years for accidentally browsing a niche and illegal website called "kids love chocolate fondle"

[Gregory Torso]

A dwarf husband flexes his wan bicep at a trout fisherman who is ogling his trophy wife.

[Cuellar]

Beautiful

[Ferris]

Beautiful

... by James Blumt re-enters the chart at #3

[Bazooka]

A silly bugger bursts at the funeral of Robert Mugabe, his daily intake of Sunny D sticks to all the mourners.

[Ferris]

Your suicide seems a bit too easy.

[Ferris]

"Some assembly requires" makes you look like a total mug.

[Ferris]

Your mum shacks up with Daniel Bedingfield.

[Ferris]

You arrive at the offy 90 seconds before they close, and the staff just look at you.

[saltysnacks]

You explain that the beers are actually for your alcoholic father, not you.

[Dannyhood91]

Astrally projecting yourself into a Little Chef

[BlodwynPig]

Seance in a Blue Boar.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Getting beaten up in your dreams, then waking up in hospital

[Spoon of Ploff]

A visit to Sheerness on Sea is the highlight of your week month year life.

Oh. Sorry. Should have posted this in the Euphoria thread. What am I like?

[Foggy Buntwhistle]

A flaming crystalline angel appears to you in your dreams, the beauty is overwhelming, a vision of divinity aflame with the creators love, love for you. It begins to speak, it has the voice of David Beckham.

[Ferris]

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pizza_Man_(2011_film)

[Vodka Margarine]

Extra school reunion name stickers are made "for all the missing ones".

[Captain Poodle Basher]

As he succumbs to the final stages of his fatal heart attack, Derek wishes he had the ability to close the browser window for www.beastedtwinks.com he'd been wanking off to just now. Nothing to be done about being found dressed in his wife's underwear though.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Salamander as a pizza topping

[dex]

As he succumbs to the final stages of his fatal heart attack, Derek wishes he had the ability to close the browser window for www.beastedtwinks.com he'd been wanking off to just now. Nothing to be done about being found dressed in his wife's underwear though.

He died doing the thing he loved most. Lawrence died by slipping over in dog shit and splitting his swede clean open in Skegness. A scally took his shoes even!

[Vodka Margarine]

A beautiful, fleeting wonder of nature is fucked off for spoiling the atmos.