Tip jar

If you like CaB and wish to support it, you can use PayPal or KoFi. Thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the site - Neil.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Support CaB

Recent

Welcome to Cook'd and Bomb'd. Please login or sign up.

March 28, 2024, 09:01:32 AM

Login with username, password and session length

Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains

Started by Shoulders?-Stomach!, April 16, 2018, 01:49:39 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

dex

Gervais rubs his hands together as a Derke Christmas Special script is accepted by Sky.

dex

Low hanging fruit going after Gervais again. DESOLATION!

petril

a brass band appears in Derke: The Movie

Shoulders?-Stomach!

A postman's views are deemed 'problematic' by a committee.

Vodka Margarine

Beach Boys obsessive Colin tosses his Dennis Wilson hamster into a rancid fish pond 'for authenticity'.

petril

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on December 11, 2018, 05:54:41 PM
A postman's views are deemed 'problematic' by a committee.

a committee... of brass band members

Script idea: Derke tries to blow his own trumpet. Kev pulls a face.

Cuellar

Why don't you fools realize that any extension of Derek would be the best thing in the universe.

petril

Quote from: Cuellar on December 12, 2018, 11:53:30 AM
Why don't you fools realize that any extension of Derek would be the best thing in the universe.

because it would always fail. no room for tension or conflict because he is kind

Cuellar

You underestimate the genius of Gervais.

Who could forget the classic story arc: Derek sad for some reason, Kev alcoholic simpleton develops interest in robotics build robot dog, Derek now happy!

There's your tension, and conflict? Don't talk to me about conflict. Don't you remember the weekly enemy that would come in and a goodie (not the sketch group) would shout at them? Wow! Conflict out the arse!

We would be SO BLESSED to have a Derek special.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

An emotionally derelict Grime artist forgets the name of own cat, who is himself currently pre-occupied with more pressing matters, namely trying not to die in a car crusher he has been placed in.

RIP Random Cat, the man ruefully reflects, mid-Toffee Crisp.

Spoon of Ploff

On Erwin Schrödinger's first day at kindergarten a pack of cats beat him up and steal his lunch.

Ferris

Quote from: Spoon of Ploff on December 12, 2018, 04:58:19 PM
On Erwin Schrödinger's first day at kindergarten a pack of cats beat him up and steal his lunch.

Pavlov and his gang of dogs watch and do nothing to intervene.

BlodwynPig

Overheard desolation on bus:

"Who was sacked?"

"Charlie"

"The one with no teeth?"

"No the gay one"

petril

a mother of three stops buying faggots because her husband won't stop with the shit jokes. about being a zombie

Dannyhood91

All the dead Andrex puppies dead in a big pile.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

All the dead andrex puppies arranged into a furry decomposing NO PARKING sign

Spoon of Ploff

All the dead andrex puppies animatrized to bark and do flips:


Shoulders?-Stomach!


The gentle touch of moistly glistening tod against your ringpiece tells you that you have misjudged if there was room for one more in the portaloo.

Twit 2

A stricken caretaker sandblasts his fiancé's cunt in a paddling pool.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

A beleaguered flautist volleys a smartie up a cat's arse.

Fishfinger

7am, and a homeless addict tries to negotiate a joint interpretative instrument with a starving rat.

Fishfinger

Three days of F5-ing and still no reply to your online suicide note.

Fishfinger

The death of a comedian inspires a parent to shatter frosty rocks with a mallet.

Fishfinger

A well-known film director and actor breaks the fourth wall during a molestation.

Fishfinger

A short-lived delusional species launches another sexed-up coffin into the void.

Fishfinger

Saturday morning and you have nothing better to do than read this.

Fishfinger

Savile's ghost possesses a cancer ward.

Fishfinger

An algorithm is set to delete CVs containing the word 'carer'.