Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains

[Fishfinger]

A man's best friend plunges haplessly into an icy pond and not even captured for YouTube.

[Fishfinger]

An oxygenated bubble is penetrated by a ruthless wasp.

[Fishfinger]

A grey Dennis thumps a toddler into a gravel pit.

[Fishfinger]

Those fucking spackers at Games Workshop have delivered the wrong miniature, and you have D&D this very afternoon.

[Fishfinger]

A cardiganned widow abrades an armchair into crusty dust.

[Fishfinger]

A half-arsed web causes desiccated corpses to tumble onto your unwashed bed.

[Fishfinger]

The girl you loved at school gets rich as an educator in an oppressive state.

[Fishfinger]

On an abandoned industrial estate, a Greggs pasty serves as an impromptu ball gag.

[Fishfinger]

It's not over 'til the fat lady sings, but you buried her in a shallow grave in EU-funded woodland.

[Fishfinger]

A life-bestowing planet tries to negotiate a joint interpretive instrument with a fiery meteor.

[Fishfinger]

A joint interpretive instrument is found in the ashes of a civilisation, and immediately tossed aside.

[Fishfinger]

A motorway pile-up is the new show runner for Doctor Who. Edit: sorry, should be in Euphoria.

[Fishfinger]

Your correct opinions are swatted away like midges on a Scottish holiday.

[Fishfinger]

Christmas is ruined by lackluster crackers, a paralysing stroke, and the presence of your relatives.

[Fishfinger]

A pound shop Russel Brand seduces your daughter.

[BlodwynPig]

Sausage Party - 3 stars in TV Choice

Dave buys a 17 pack of knock-down Carling

[Vodka Margarine]

Wednesday 26th January 2005 is considered the most pointless day in history by calendar expert Rob, until he realises it's his next girlfriend's date of birth.

[Berthas Fat Leg]

Ugly naked guy prepares a noose. All he wanted was to be liked.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Purely for ergonomics and no other reason whatsoever, Xander of Galashiels bench-presses within the uneven earth of his uncle's grave.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

You can never have too many cat corpses, ponders Brenda, in a Rotherham hovel.

No, indeed not, comes the telepathic response of Kathy from Leeds.

That's not telepathy love it's called Skype.

[derek stitt]

A reformed Begbie from Trainspotting opens an upscale restaurant. To keep away the riffraff he calls the place, CUNTS? FUCK OFF!

[Foggy Buntwhistle]

a brain worm leaves yer noodle out yer earhole coz there in't enuff sustenance in there

[Foggy Buntwhistle]

a parasitic alien species steers well clear of erff after intercepting a broadcast of last of the summer wine

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

There are whispers going around about your gait.

[Twit 2]

Not knowing the difference between an egg, an armadillo and an acorn.

[Pingers]

[proper noun] [verb] an [adjective] [object] [preposition] a [subject]. Desolation.

[Twit 2]

That joke/analysis has been done before. Desolation.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

The Chicago Cubs start sacrificing children to win more games

[Gregory Torso]

Dogshit Doritos

[Gregory Torso]

A pigeon deep-throats a child's entire 99p cone just moments after acquisition.