Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Lightning from The Gladiatorial Television Series misses a rung in a children's playground and three caustic little baboons shriek cruel whoops at her.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

A Deliveroo wastrel with unfulfilled fisting ambitions spends an hour and a half on his Raleigh trying to successfully deliver a rapidly decomposing egg and chips to Myarsemate, Hendon.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Tammy is shown how to use the filter function in Excel by a member of the beaker folk.

[Glebe]

Chris Hoy accidently cycles down a tunnel and gets wankered by a Nissan Micra.

[dex]

A druid celebrating Winter Solstice at Stonehenge slips over in dog shit and fractures his tail bone. Curses reign and traffic chaos ensues on the nearby A303.

[BlodwynPig]

The phantom limb of a teenage paraplegic prefers up the arse to regular hand shandies, much to its owners chagrin

[Lordofthefiles]

A truly fantastic wank reaches a disturbing conclusion when the carefully constructed mental image and narrative of a sexy woman at work sucking your nob turns into the face of a retarded relative at the moment of orgasm.

[BlodwynPig]

A truly fantastic wank reaches a disturbing conclusion when the carefully constructed mental image and narrative of a sexy woman at work sucking your nob turns into the face of a retarded relative at the moment of orgasm.

This is how kinks start!

[Ferris]

Karl Lagerfeld lives a long and happy life, and his estate is incorporated in Monaco so no need to trouble the taxman.

[dex]

Milverton vows to make his way back onto a comedy discussion forum he was banned from...

[petril]

A man is convinced he can re-enact the video for Rabbit In The Headlights by Unkle. Clyde Tunnel's been shut for two days. He succeeds, apart from the walking away at the end bit. Or breathing

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Vajazzle is used as a cheaper alternative to cats eyes on a minor road near Immingham.

[Glebe]

Shirley Bassey grunts at a homeless man in Filey.

[dex]

Shirley Bassey grunts at a homeless man in Filey.

Good one. Filey alone would have done!

[Glebe]

Good one. Filey alone would have done!

Heh, thanks!

Meanwhile, Geoff Boycott shouts at a Pakistani man in the high street for no good reason.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Nope wait, it's about his defensive technique and hideous wife

[Glebe]

Roger the dolphin careers into the side of a SeaWorld employee who tosses coffee in his fucking face and tells it to fuck right off back to the ocean.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Due to a slip of a finger, a bored teenager publicly broadcasts the exact moment Gordon Ramsay calls a sous chef "an absolute fucking abortion" across the fields of the Somme during a remembrance day ceremony.

[Twit 2]

Speaking of Ramses, everything that he says and does in this clip could be an entry to the thread:

https://youtu.be/Mz_01tjBwAE

[petril]

your only Christmas present is a humourous fonts calendar

[Twit 2]

A fat cunt eats a pheasant up a chimney.

[Bum Flaps]

Aubergines are discontinued by Tescos in Lowestoft due to poor sales.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Don Jamon, Jamon y Mas

The mas = sweaty adultery

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Brian Harvey gets a maggot in his ear in a dream

[dex]

After too many pats on the back and punches to the head, Tyson Fury decides to join UKIP. Paul Ross meanwhile rubs his hands together and gets the meow meow ready...

[petril]

Paul Ross has been a fully paid up BNP member for a decade, and nobody has noticed

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

The BNP eventually notice and end his membership on the basis that "we can't be seen to be associated with people like you".

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Martin Lewis has to shit in his bag-for-life after a violent diarrhoea attack and spends the next 5 years unsuccessfully suing Tesco for breaching the sale of goods act.

[Twit 2]

Jonathan Ross penetrates Paul Ross's anus and sphincter again and again and again and again, as the main event in a hastily arranged lay-by sympathy fuck. A trembling portrait-mode video of the event - taken by a trafficked Serbian gay from behind a grime-encrusted fly sheet - wins the Prix Un Certain Regard at the Luton Bumming Festival.

[dex]

Franke Boyle's high pitched titter, on a loop as old Sun articles of his are farted out.