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Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains

Started by Shoulders?-Stomach!, April 16, 2018, 01:49:39 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

dex

An annoying hipster is hammered to death with a 3 pound ball peen hammer. As the blows rain down on his face, caving it in and then eventually killing him, the killer is informed the camera failed and the footage failed to capture on Liveleak.com

dex

Bit of real life deso: My mate Chris tweeted about how exited he is to be watching Gervais in St Albans next month. Different folks, different strokes and all that but I expected better from him.

dex

Top deso day for the corgis as Phillip survives another clanger and takes out his frustrations in fucking them senseless.

A man injects his teenage son's clumsily discarded semen in a bid to overcome his impotence.

Ferris

The greatest defensive third baseman of all time is born into servitude in 11th century Poland. He is haunted by dreams of advanced sabermetrics he doesn't understand, and is eventually polished off by a localized cholera outbreak.

the midnight watch baboon

Louise can only run on the spot, cartoon-like, as the twins scamper up onto the sheets, toward her honey puddle.

Pingers

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on January 20, 2019, 03:44:39 AM
The greatest defensive third baseman of all time is born into servitude in 11th century Poland. He is haunted by dreams of advanced sabermetrics he doesn't understand, and is eventually polished off by a localized cholera outbreak.

+1

Glebe

Shirley Bassey fucks a tonne of rotten heron over the fence of a chav.

dex

Your nan dismisses you as a "bumbaclart".

Glebe


Gregory Torso

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on January 20, 2019, 03:44:39 AM
The greatest defensive third baseman of all time is born into servitude in 11th century Poland. He is haunted by dreams of advanced sabermetrics he doesn't understand, and is eventually polished off by a localized cholera outbreak.

Excellent.

dex


Berthas Fat Leg

A bag for life is used as a bag for death.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Beer users gather in pubs to watch grown men fight with weasels

Pingers

Quote from: Berthas Fat Leg on January 21, 2019, 05:43:15 PM
A bag for life is used as a bag for death.

Local newspaper editor proclaims blood sacrifice of homeless man and "brave" but far-too-trusting disabled youngster to the God of Headlines "well worth it"

Ferris

We're getting very close to page 100.

I'd like to pitch "Desolation V: The Foetid Caves" for the next one.

the midnight watch baboon

A snooker man's sperm attaches to a discarded Mini Egg

Shoulders?-Stomach!


~~~ This is for the fucktards, the 'ey up loves', the banterbros, the chinbeards, the no johnnies love i don't like the feel, the 3am vommers, the tosspots, the full kit wankers, here's to you Mister Knocked Her Up At 17, the four lagers please, the Gary of London Town, raise a glass for the closet racists, the belm impressionista, the cheeky Nandos, the duvet day, the McIntyre DVD of the soul, the meat and two veg, the chug forfeiteers, the hope it goes away, England's Lion! ~~~

Dannyhood91

Selling the contents of Nigel Farages ashtray on eBay for six grand.

Chollis

The mangled corpses of Rod, Jane and Freddy are left outside Broadcasting House as a warning. 

Head Gardener



some British Homes are now outside the store

Shoulders?-Stomach!

A paedophile declares he is "Confused.com" after the intangible line between ephebophilia and paedophilia is outlined to him academically by a patient work colleague. Don't try it mate. It won't stand up in court. Mind you, neither will little Neil.

Pingers

^ bleaker than bleak last line, that one.

ToneLa

Left the house today to go to Speke.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

An ampute from the hip down walrus expert diagnoses his phantom penis with phimosis.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Julian Clary's best friend becomes a Skutter.

ToneLa

MY RAIL-REPLACEMENT BUS STOPPED
IN ROCK FERRY
FOR TEN MINUTES
WHICH WAS SUFFICENT TIME
FOR ME TO SOBER UP

Pingers


buttgammon

Quote from: ToneLa on January 22, 2019, 11:48:37 PM
MY RAIL-REPLACEMENT BUS STOPPED
IN ROCK FERRY
FOR TEN MINUTES
WHICH WAS SUFFICENT TIME
FOR ME TO SOBER UP

Window into my life c. 2013.

ToneLa

Quote from: buttgammon on January 23, 2019, 12:08:44 AM
Window into my life c. 2013.

I genuinely think it's a Linux into my life circa now.

Have you trawled through Birkenhead lad? It has something of the fetid about it.

- Disgusted
Tony L,
Ellesmere Port