Author Topic: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains  (Read 78210 times)

Dannyhood91

  • I thought you said KING AAARTHUUUR!
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #30 on: April 17, 2018, 07:24:12 PM »
A dog votes BNP.

Dannyhood91

  • I thought you said KING AAARTHUUUR!
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #31 on: April 17, 2018, 07:25:02 PM »
Injecting mustard into your sleeping dads dick.

Dannyhood91

  • I thought you said KING AAARTHUUUR!
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #32 on: April 17, 2018, 07:29:23 PM »
A heron is raped to the theme of The (US) Office


Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Are we human? Or are we toilet
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #34 on: April 17, 2018, 09:05:39 PM »
A heron is raped to the theme of The (US) Office

Absurdly good. Maybe a switch to another animal would make it even funnier.

Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #35 on: April 17, 2018, 10:17:04 PM »
A half-drunk Steve Rider scribbles down ideas for 'Grandstand: The Dinner Experience,' only to rip up his notepad two beers later.

Spoon of Ploff

  • visitors are welcome to Sheerness
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #36 on: April 18, 2018, 08:28:07 AM »
A wheezing old man finds a Queens Silver Jubilee mug in his garden shed and wonders what happened to his country.

Norton Canes

  • The leper heart will see you for what you are
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #37 on: April 18, 2018, 09:14:48 AM »
A magpie carries off a duckling

Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #38 on: April 18, 2018, 01:18:37 PM »
After a morning of slinging sharp pebbles at cyclists, Compo flakes off some of his impetigo scabs into Clegg's tea.

Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #39 on: April 18, 2018, 01:19:44 PM »
Compo and Clegg cause Foggy to have a Normandy flashback when they take him on an illegal grouse shoot.

dex

  • Maybe, but there again maybe not.
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #40 on: April 18, 2018, 01:21:00 PM »
The sugar tax renders drinking petrol cheaper than pop. A bag of hot chips is passed round and the family dog steals yours.

Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #41 on: April 18, 2018, 01:24:07 PM »
Compo lies down in a stream under a footbridge hoping to look up a lady's skirt as she crosses. He catches pneumonia. His first course of action is to try and infect Clegg; when that fails, he reluctantly goes to the hospital where he steals three pens and coughs on as many children as possible. Foggy later sells his antibiotics to a farmer as "lamb speed".

Dannyhood91

  • I thought you said KING AAARTHUUUR!
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #42 on: April 18, 2018, 01:33:22 PM »
Compo and Clegg cause Foggy to have a Normandy flashback when they take him on an illegal grouse shoot.
[/quote

Fucking massive chuckle at that

Dannyhood91

  • I thought you said KING AAARTHUUUR!
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #43 on: April 18, 2018, 01:36:25 PM »
Howard from the Halifax advert punching Emily Ratajkowski square in the fucking chops after a game of Uno.

Proper flattens her.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Are we human? Or are we toilet
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #44 on: April 18, 2018, 01:42:05 PM »
A shut in pornography goliath is forced to attend a trip to the British Museum.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Are we human? Or are we toilet
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #45 on: April 18, 2018, 01:52:03 PM »
A buried penis syndrome survivor spills his yoghurt in a vestry.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Are we human? Or are we toilet
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #46 on: April 18, 2018, 01:54:44 PM »
A panopoly of dysenterists co-evacuate on an industrial estate.

Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #47 on: April 18, 2018, 01:57:25 PM »
Seymour builds a face-fucking machine and climbs up into an old oak tree where he fucks his own face for the rest of that afternoon.

BlodwynPig

  • Throwing two dogs at a goblin
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #48 on: April 18, 2018, 02:25:38 PM »
I see the heavyweight desolates are having a field day in here. Keep it up.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Are we human? Or are we toilet
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #49 on: April 18, 2018, 02:46:22 PM »
Ten mail clerks devour their collective body weight in vile rancid chicken flesh without suspecting a thing.

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #50 on: April 18, 2018, 03:05:41 PM »
A magpie carries off a duckling

A tumour carries off a hummingbird.

Dannyhood91

  • I thought you said KING AAARTHUUUR!
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #51 on: April 18, 2018, 05:05:54 PM »
An uneducated scrote throws a Lobster Thermidor out the window because it’s “gay”.

Dannyhood91

  • I thought you said KING AAARTHUUUR!
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #52 on: April 18, 2018, 05:08:47 PM »
Percy The Parkeeper knows where the bodies are hidden.

Dannyhood91

  • I thought you said KING AAARTHUUUR!
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #53 on: April 18, 2018, 05:10:27 PM »
A pair of first year students at Sheffield Hallam university solely through references and squeals.

Dannyhood91

  • I thought you said KING AAARTHUUUR!
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #54 on: April 18, 2018, 05:13:16 PM »
Paul Ross’s family has just been him in different wigs the whole time.

Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #55 on: April 18, 2018, 05:15:33 PM »
An office worker posts his suicide note on his company's intranet. It's seen 3 years later when the company is taken over by Chinese robots.

Dannyhood91

  • I thought you said KING AAARTHUUUR!
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #56 on: April 18, 2018, 05:16:45 PM »
A knackered old hag frigs herself off to Disney’s animated Hercules and thinks of happier days.

Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #57 on: April 18, 2018, 05:20:24 PM »
A small, rented room is suffused with the smells of cigarette smoke and store-brand energy drinks.

Dannyhood91

  • I thought you said KING AAARTHUUUR!
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #58 on: April 18, 2018, 05:43:58 PM »
Sun, Sex and Suspicious Packages

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Are we human? Or are we toilet
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #59 on: April 18, 2018, 06:50:04 PM »
A park bench carrying the engraving


"R.I.P

Gavin Denton

'Battered Sausage + Peas Wrapped Up'

1978-2018'


Is given a wipe down with an axe