Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains

[Fishfinger]

The Krankies after 6 months under Dennis Nilsen's floorboards.

[Glebe]

Five chocolates left in the Celebrations tub. All Bountys.

That's extra-strength deso taken to new levels, mate.

[Gregory Torso]

EUPHORIA

Seconded. The Bounties are the best ones you mad bastards.

[Ferris]

The tin of Quality Street is down to the final couple of dozen toffee pennies and toffee fingers. Some fucker on minimum wage picked out all the purple and green ones at the factory. You gave away all your bounties.

[Spoon of Ploff]

Five chocolates left in the Celebrations tub. All Bountys...

... with the chocolate sucked off em.

[Glebe]

An arse makes it way into Aldi.

[Bison]

In the distant future scientists discover the partial remains of Olly Murs preserved in amber.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Oil of Ulay discover a way to prevent the 8th sign of ageing: getting more right-wing.

[Gregory Torso]

Ruud Gullit wallpapers his dining room with Panini stickers of the 1990 World Cup England team. Every single Bryan Robson has had its eyes scribbled over with permanent marker.

[Norton Canes]

Liam Gallagher finally meets his daughter

[Ferris]

The neighbourhood cretin lets himself down.

[Huxleys Babkins]

"I don't believe it! The old man's done it one last time! Now, that's magic!"

Debbie can't bring herself to tell Martin she knocked his dad's urn off the mantelpiece whilst practicing the Pasodoble.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

A lifelong Catholic declares "i was only in it for the kids cocks", then expires before justice can be done.

[Glebe]

Barney of Suffolk collects doorknobs.

[Ferris]

A lifelong Catholic declares "i was only in it for the kids cocks", then expires before justice can be done.

Laughed

[Twit 2]

Dolly Mixture spat onto a turd.

[drummersaredeaf]

Bingo wing flavour stock cubes.

[petril]

bread flavour chewing gun

[derek stitt]

Rip Van Winkle wakes up with forty  years worth of wet dream matted into his beard and pubes.

You are born with your cock and balls on upside down.

A beastialist masturbates over an energy saving lightbulb, imaging  it to be a pigs cock.

Rise of the Footsoldiers 3

[Twit 2]

A rapist dressed as a boiler smashes into a brothel.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

A boiler dressed as a rapist is given 10 years and told to "step down, please".

Later released on appeal, but not before developing severe health issues.

[Spoon of Ploff]

I don't believe this image has made enough appearances on this page yet.

[Spoon of Ploff]

A lepidopterist's transect notes are presented to the court as Exhibit A.

[Ferris]

I don't believe this image has made enough appearances on this page yet.

Chris Tarrant's hair transfer "ends in disaster". Too much is transferred. Nothing can be done.

[Cuellar]

Muffled sounds drift through the floor into Elizabeth's studio flat.

"How exciting all their lives must be!", she thinks.

The Bella Pasta beneath is doing a roaring trade.

[petril]

in between the puggy arrangement at the fair, sits a Mortal Kombat machine. Five of the buttons are melted away from being used as ashtrays, and it crashes on Kano

[Huxleys Babkins]

Richmond sausages are Paul's absolute favourite.

[pancreas]

Richmond sausages are Paul Ross's absolute favourite.

[Twit 2]

Johnny Walker accidentally tees up some James Brown as 'Funk Peterson & The n**gers.'

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

A member of the alt-right tries unsuccessfully all afternoon to get a thrush off his lawn.