Author Topic: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains  (Read 15570 times)

SteveDave

  • Buy my new LP out on 6 July 2018
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Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #1020 on: June 13, 2018, 02:20:10 PM »
A big mouse glares menacingly at a small rat and thinks "I'm the daddy now"

Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #1021 on: June 13, 2018, 02:58:32 PM »
children play hopscotch 5 feet away from a pint of piping hot cum on a windowsill

Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #1022 on: June 13, 2018, 04:03:07 PM »
Pete Townshend tries to gauge how far he can push his luck by researching a book about murdering prostitutes.

Spoon of Ploff

  • visitors are welcome to Sheerness
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #1023 on: June 13, 2018, 04:13:39 PM »
Simon notes that the can of chickpeas he bought a while back, to replace an out of date can he already had, is now also out of date. He grasps for a deeper meaning, and finds none.

Spoon of Ploff

  • visitors are welcome to Sheerness
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #1024 on: June 13, 2018, 04:18:37 PM »
Bob has been staring at the Bristol chart, pinned to the back of the toilet door, for over an hour now. He can't remember the last time he managed to produce a type 1,2,3,4 or 5. He strains for a deeper meaning.

the midnight watch baboon

  • Gelled, spiky hair fragrant near my teeth
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #1025 on: June 13, 2018, 06:27:06 PM »
Boxer burns stomach on ma's hob whilst bobbing around in ma's open dressing gown to ma's Marion 5 CD

FerriswheelBueller

  • Floaters gonna float.
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #1026 on: June 13, 2018, 06:48:58 PM »
Eerily prophetic.
I read an article about Mitch Hedberg a few months ago, and a line stuck with me about him being very utilitarian with language, “no words wasted”. I’m trying to refine my own writing to make it as efficient as possible. That post is my best refinement so far - 2 words, infinite desolation.

spamwangler

  • misleadingly labeled, sneaky bentos
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #1027 on: June 13, 2018, 09:14:19 PM »
you find out that all the stuff that poo goes on about here actually all exists on xhamster

Gregory Torso

  • sun of the vermin wind
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #1028 on: June 14, 2018, 01:24:08 AM »
A fug of morning breath from a thousand commuters’ mourning mouths wafts your paper-thin corpse through the subway tunnels

spamwangler

  • misleadingly labeled, sneaky bentos
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #1029 on: June 14, 2018, 09:00:08 AM »
a finnish bergerac fan discards a bent spoon in Kettering

spamwangler

  • misleadingly labeled, sneaky bentos
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #1030 on: June 14, 2018, 09:01:13 AM »


a minnow  looses a pivotal bag of laxatives down a storm drain

spamwangler

  • misleadingly labeled, sneaky bentos
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #1031 on: June 14, 2018, 09:02:54 AM »
a desperate left-wing sparrow buys a webcam

spamwangler

  • misleadingly labeled, sneaky bentos
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #1032 on: June 14, 2018, 09:04:18 AM »
a malnourished seal smells exactly like geordies

spamwangler

  • misleadingly labeled, sneaky bentos
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #1033 on: June 14, 2018, 09:04:48 AM »
a thrush is tossed off a ferry

spamwangler

  • misleadingly labeled, sneaky bentos
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #1034 on: June 14, 2018, 09:05:23 AM »
a sand-badger gores a hamster for a baying crowd of peter sudcliffes  in a Calais wine outlet

spamwangler

  • misleadingly labeled, sneaky bentos
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #1035 on: June 14, 2018, 09:08:35 AM »

A brexit flavored sausage roll comprimises the entirety of a dissapointing freak show in county armatgh

spamwangler

  • misleadingly labeled, sneaky bentos
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #1036 on: June 14, 2018, 09:09:13 AM »
a goulish wasp is shamefully snaffled in a greggs back alley by a sow

spamwangler

  • misleadingly labeled, sneaky bentos
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #1037 on: June 14, 2018, 09:09:47 AM »
an Unidentified Flying Graham cleans his bionic undercarriage with a drugged coastguard he keeps in his fridge

spamwangler

  • misleadingly labeled, sneaky bentos
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #1038 on: June 14, 2018, 09:10:18 AM »
a medi cocooned twitter-gone-wrong barely raises an eyebrow of the local baby swan on his combined maiden voyage/desperate coastguardsong

spamwangler

  • misleadingly labeled, sneaky bentos
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #1039 on: June 14, 2018, 09:10:49 AM »
centre parks visitors succumb to the wasps in their shed, surrender their holiday to the queen

spamwangler

  • misleadingly labeled, sneaky bentos
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #1040 on: June 14, 2018, 09:11:46 AM »

several 4.5/10 Ians write strongly worded letters of coplaint

spamwangler

  • misleadingly labeled, sneaky bentos
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #1041 on: June 14, 2018, 09:12:20 AM »
a stoat is knocked for six by a stag-do lobon.

spamwangler

  • misleadingly labeled, sneaky bentos
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #1042 on: June 14, 2018, 09:14:56 AM »
a sparrowhawk is dashed off the console of a speeding vauxall nova trying to impress a nearby chaffinch

spamwangler

  • misleadingly labeled, sneaky bentos
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #1043 on: June 14, 2018, 09:15:29 AM »
a trawlerman mistakenly builds a londis on an unwitting blue tit with hopes and dreams

Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #1044 on: June 14, 2018, 09:22:55 AM »
A man falls into an infinite feedback loop of recursive desolation.

Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #1045 on: June 14, 2018, 10:35:03 AM »
Darren invites Beth around for a meal and a movie. Tonight might just be the night!

She arrives to find candles, mood music, Richmond sausages and Aunt Bessie's frozen mash.

dex

  • Maybe, but there again maybe not.
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #1046 on: June 14, 2018, 11:37:53 AM »
Pete Townshend tries to gauge how far he can push his luck by researching a book about murdering prostitutes.

Laughed. Good work.

dex

  • Maybe, but there again maybe not.
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #1047 on: June 14, 2018, 11:42:24 AM »
The DIY mechanics was all going so well. That is, until the driveshaft pops out of the gearbox and you're left in an Ikea car park with gearbox oil pissing out onto the tarmac and a now un-driveable motor. Curses!

dex

  • Maybe, but there again maybe not.
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #1048 on: June 14, 2018, 11:49:23 AM »
A small African boy for sale in Costco.

Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #1049 on: June 14, 2018, 12:47:48 PM »
A Billy bookcase stuffed with Katie Prices and Dan Browns.