Author Topic: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains  (Read 42569 times)

Twit 2

  • All impotence, no impetus
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #2310 on: November 08, 2018, 09:43:43 PM »
A passing fakir shits up an ashram.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Got to be getting his head on that for me Gary
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #2311 on: November 08, 2018, 09:52:40 PM »
Roy looks down at his strudel and sees only anguish staring back - and apple.

Vodka Margarine

  • Television sick and television crazy
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #2312 on: November 08, 2018, 10:38:48 PM »
A nightmare flashback designed to remove every last trace of hope and love succeeds so well it has another go just for fun.

New Jack

  • BANG! Lyrical blow to the jaw
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #2313 on: November 08, 2018, 11:41:06 PM »
Tom Jones throws a pair back

FerriswheelBueller

  • Floaters gonna float.
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #2314 on: November 09, 2018, 01:30:37 AM »
A gamesmaster uses his power for evil, again.

Glebe

  • Kinda hard to believe cos there was no one around.
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #2315 on: November 09, 2018, 02:14:38 AM »
A goose knows its place in the scheme of things.

BlodwynPig

  • R.I.P. The Waxwork René
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #2316 on: November 09, 2018, 02:38:21 AM »
A goose knows its place in the scheme of things.

One of those things being "succulent thighs"

Glebe

  • Kinda hard to believe cos there was no one around.
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #2317 on: November 09, 2018, 02:41:13 AM »
One of those things being "succulent thighs"

Another of them being "pate".

BlodwynPig

  • R.I.P. The Waxwork René
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #2318 on: November 09, 2018, 02:46:10 AM »
A Toulouse goose feasts on a complacent man. Barely registers in its stomach.

Glebe

  • Kinda hard to believe cos there was no one around.
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #2319 on: November 09, 2018, 04:11:09 AM »
A carrot gets fed up in the vegetable drawer and goes about Hampstead Heath punching sunflowers in the bonce.

PlanktonSideburns

  • scuttling little piss balloon
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #2320 on: November 09, 2018, 11:10:22 PM »
Matthew Perry to play Jello Biafra in new biopic

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Got to be getting his head on that for me Gary
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #2321 on: November 10, 2018, 08:13:45 AM »
A Cypriot pisses up his fricatives in efforts to accurately shout "Schnell" at his Taiwanese gardener.

:(

Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #2322 on: November 10, 2018, 08:18:15 AM »
Silk Road by pogo with Ronnie Pickering, Ch 5 9pm

PlanktonSideburns

  • scuttling little piss balloon
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #2323 on: November 10, 2018, 09:04:17 AM »
HOBBIES:atheism

Spoon of Ploff

  • visitors are welcome to Sheerness
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #2324 on: November 10, 2018, 09:09:57 AM »
Wood smoke through trees on a still, cold, bright winter's morning

Get lost in woods. Die of hypothermia. Next, the badgers move in driven by hunger.



:(

Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #2325 on: November 10, 2018, 09:33:42 AM »
A Tory MP low fives a black kid.

PlanktonSideburns

  • scuttling little piss balloon
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #2326 on: November 10, 2018, 09:55:07 AM »
Knighton based dubstep musician is taken quietly to one side and told that it is 2016 and he should probably pack it in. The door to his dad's gravel factory yawns open with an awful groan of metal fatiuge, beckoning

:(

Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #2327 on: November 10, 2018, 10:10:20 AM »
Hah, good one.

PlanktonSideburns

  • scuttling little piss balloon
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #2328 on: November 10, 2018, 10:28:05 AM »
Knighton based dubstep musician is taken quietly to one side and told that it is 2016 and he should probably pack it in. The door to his dad's gravel factory yawns open with an awful groan of metal fatiuge, beckoning

As the door slams shut, it makes a CRUNCH sound, like it will never open again.
His eyes adjust to the darkness - what's this?
All the gravel has been cleared away, and in the middle of silo is Dad, stood next to a 300w cashgen active Pa speaker, it's wires leading to a stack of pallets with Ian's cdj 1000s on it.

What's going on dad?

I KNOW THIS IS DIFFICULT SON, BUT THIS ENDS HERE, TONIGHT

but dad,

DON'T SAY ANYTHING.

bu-

In an instant, Ian is face down in what's left of the gravel, the infinite weight of Dad astride him, they seep into the gravel

THIS ENDS HERE SON. DO YOU UNDERSTAND

DO YOU UNDERSTAND

yes dad

DO YOU UNDERSTAND

YES DAD his voice small now, partially submerged and gravelly

GET UP IAN. GET UP ITS TIME

Dad watches him pull himself up from the gravel

YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NOW SON?

yes

DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NOW?

yes dad

WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NOW SON

You're going to fuck the dubstep out of me

SAY IT AGAIN

dad, you're going to fuck the dubstep out of -

LOUDER

YOUR GOING TO FUCK THE DUBSTEP OUT OF ME

I'M GOING TO FUCK THE DUBSTEP OUT OF YOU


YOUR GOING TO FUCK THE DUBSTEP OUT OF ME
I'M GOING TO FUCK THE DUBSTEP OUT OF YOU

fin.

PlanktonSideburns

  • scuttling little piss balloon
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #2329 on: November 10, 2018, 10:51:21 AM »
Sarin attack on Garth comes as a relief tbf

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Got to be getting his head on that for me Gary
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #2330 on: November 10, 2018, 11:08:20 AM »
Todd uses "posture" as casus belli to rape a goat.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Got to be getting his head on that for me Gary
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #2331 on: November 10, 2018, 11:09:56 AM »
The same goat is molested later that afternoon by Mark of Lichfield because it had "been doing my head in".

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Got to be getting his head on that for me Gary
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #2332 on: November 10, 2018, 11:12:40 AM »
A local court finds Todd not guilty and Mark "only sort of guilty-ish"

PlanktonSideburns

  • scuttling little piss balloon
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #2333 on: November 10, 2018, 11:18:10 AM »
Ian wishes everyone would stop calling a goat. I AM a real boy I remember! He says, stamping his front legs

Spoon of Ploff

  • visitors are welcome to Sheerness
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #2334 on: November 10, 2018, 11:24:51 AM »
LOVE IT reader found buried to death under pile of LOVE IT magazines. For more grizzly details turn to page 19 of the latest edition of LOVE IT... plus paedos.

PlanktonSideburns

  • scuttling little piss balloon
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #2335 on: November 10, 2018, 11:26:17 AM »
Cwmbran based okcupidist scrapes right through the barrel, through the floor into the basement.

The basement is full of empty barrels.

And chlamidia

PlanktonSideburns

  • scuttling little piss balloon
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #2336 on: November 10, 2018, 11:27:11 AM »
GOD I'M BORED SPLOFF.

when's it going to start?

PlanktonSideburns

  • scuttling little piss balloon
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #2337 on: November 10, 2018, 11:28:05 AM »
THAT'S THE WELSH SPELLING YOU CLAMYDIA RACIST

Twit 2

  • All impotence, no impetus
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #2338 on: November 10, 2018, 08:45:10 PM »
A degenerate uses his faeces to paint Otto Dix-style renderings of his wanks.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Got to be getting his head on that for me Gary
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains
« Reply #2339 on: November 10, 2018, 10:47:38 PM »
A couple have next year's holidays planned


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