Wife bonking away or mad bint on a one?

[Kelvin]

What a mad story. Even if the stuff about your wife is true, imagine being mad enough to go to all this effort, and to even photograph it!

Has to be fake, surely?

It's a given that all wives are having affairs.

All my wives are having affairs, certainly. 

[Rolf Lundgren]

I'm a touch of muff miffed that you backspaced the "You know your wife better than anyone" bit when we could have had another swathe of infidelity gags.

I realised it could sound dickish when I didn't mean it to sound dickish so I dicked it off.

[Chairman Bodog]

Twitbrother, why don't you go a-knocking on your neighbour's front and see if they got the same letter or saw a skulking loin beluga fisting your post box.

[Neomod]

Does Mrs Twit 2 have breasts worthy of puttinginsomeonesfaceit'sdisgusting?

If so, case closed.

[Chairman Bodog]

I realised it could sound dickish when I didn't mean it to sound dickish so I dicked it off.

That's a fair dicking, man.

[Isnt Anything]

The SIM part is weird. We live in a world of constant online connectedness she could just bluetooth it over surely. Anyway that was written by a child. I mean just look at that writing. It's a 15 year old having a joke.

Ive met more than one person who gets SIM cards and MicroSD cards muddled up, at least namewise.

As for the handwriting it does seem childlike. Perhaps she got her child to write it ? Someone i know once got a poison valentines card from a love rival and the crazy woman had got her eight-year-old kid to address the envelope in order to disguise who it was from. My poor acquaintance got given the card in bed by her own ten-year-old 'how sweet' she thought 'hes made me a card to cheer me up' ummmmmm no. :(

Could just be the woman herself writing with her left hand or just being crap of course. Or maybe deliberately crap given all the spelling is perfect except the very cliched 'discusting'.

[Colin Sanction]

Maybe your wife wrote the note. Once you start questioning her, she'll have grounds to divorce you as your paranoia broke up the family home.

She gets half of all your stuff which she can sell to shack up with the bloke from work she's been seeing all these years.

Swings and roundabouts mate.

[Blinder Data]

Absolutely discuss it with your wife otherwise it will nag away at you

Smells like a load of bollocks to me but if there's any truth to it I bet it would come out after discussing it with your wife

[Sebastian Cobb]

I'm ashamed to say that handwritiing is much better than mine.

[Zetetic]

Maybe your wife wrote the note.

Mmm.

https://www.lrb.co.uk/v40/n03/bee-wilson/merely-a-warning-that-a-noun-is-coming

[Dr Syntax Head]

Twit 2 hasn't posted in here for bit so maybe this conversation is happening right now

[Colin Sanction]

Bin the note and never say anything. Just keep the note in mind for the rest of your life. Every weekend away with the girls, going from work to the gym and a glass of wine to console Linda from HR as she's having boyfriend troubles. You'll have every word of that note coursing round in your body raising your blood pressure until you can't take another moment on earth.

All the while she's living it up with the man you'll never be.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Has anyone suggested pumping the mad woman yet?

[Johnny Yesno]

Maybe your wife wrote the note.

Maybe it was aliens.

[Twit 2]

Twit 2 hasn't posted in here for bit so maybe this conversation is happening right now

Life goes on, was shopping and now cooking.

We're both pretty knackered and need an early night so I'm wondering about leaving this till tomorrow. I will tell her, I reckon. My instinct is this is all bollocks, but even so it's going to be stressful for my wife. I hope she can get her sacked if it is her. How would it be proven? Surely the police aren't going to do fingerprints as this is way too 'sort it out yourself, mate'.

Btw, it seems highly unlikely my wife has made up the coworker being difficult to preempt things. She's read me email trails about it, so unless she has written up a decoy email trail I think that it's safe to assume that part's true. She often comes home ranting about how shoddy this woman's written work is so how could she know I was going to get a letter that matches with this?

More context: my wife is on the up at work, bosses love her, the colleague she's meant to be slurping  is one of her bosses, whose job my wife will take when he retires. She's recently done a project that will gain her employers millions in revenue, so there's a lot for this bint to be jealous of.

She does have cracking knockers, though.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Shagging her way to the top, eh?

[madhair60]

dp

I mean the oral was bad enough but sheesh!

[bgmnts]

More context: my wife is on the up at work, bosses love her, the colleague she's meant to be slurping  is one of her bosses.

The plot thickens...

Edit: too slow

[Phoenix Lazarus]

It's really poorly written - style, spag, handwriting

If the writer had cerebral palsy, then it would be poorly written.

[Operty1]

I couldn't wait until the next day, i'd have to show her. Also, if you show her in the morning she's going to go into work like a fucking bomb. If you show her tonight she's more likely to have got her head around it before tomorrow.

[Dr Syntax Head]

I couldn't wait until the next day, i'd have to show her. Also, if you show her in the morning she's going to go into work like a fucking bomb. If you show her tonight she's more likely to have got her head around it before tomorrow.

That is good advice

[massive bereavement]

What's wrong with sleeping on it?

[Chairman Bodog]

It's on the company dime.

[Cuntbeaks]

It would be even more ridiculous if the allegations weren't true to be honest. What she is suggesting is well within the realms of possibility and i doubt someone of such low intelligence would fabricate something as specific, claim to have proof and then have fuck all to back it up.

A) Request the photos, then make your mind up

B) With no preamble, show the letter to your wife and study her immediate/unfolding reaction. The guilt, if any, will be plain to see. Say nothing, let her do the talking.

[Johnny Yesno]

What's wrong with sleeping on it?

It might give the impression that Twit 2 gives it some credence. I'd being saying 'Oh yeah, some dickhead put this through the door earlier. It wouldn't be that woman at your work, would it?', or something like that.

[Dr Syntax Head]

What's wrong with sleeping on it?

Nothing but the wife has to go to work tomorrow and it wouldn't be fair to drop it on her just before she has to go in. I personally would just get it out of the way tonight to let her sleep on what to do next.

[Birdie]

Have only read first post.

Show your wife obviously.

Will now read thread.

Bye:)

[newbridge]

Post that pic, bro

[massive bereavement]

Nothing but the wife has to go to work tomorrow and it wouldn't be fair to drop it on her just before she has to go in. I personally would just get it out of the way tonight to let her sleep on what to do next.

He can wait until tomorrow evening, a day won't make a difference. The letter writer will assume it hasn't arrived yet.

If Twit 2 is the type that couldn't possibly tolerate, under any circumstances, his wife being with another man and that would be the end of the relationship as far as he's concerned, then there's no point in waiting around, he may as well find out now. Otherwise, I think he needs time to think things through.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Let someone else get to the bottom of it all:
http://www.itv.com/jeremykyle/be-a-guest