Intercourse - what do you like (NSFW)

[Fambo Number Mive]

I have never had intercourse and likely never will, but I wondered what kinds of things people enjoy during intercourse. Men's magazines have lots of tips e.g. blowing on your partner's areas, but I am not sure which work. Just in case of the unlikely event I do have intercourse with a woman.

[Norton Canes]

This thread is your friend

[Depressed Beyond Tables]

Stick on the Grand National in the background. For pacing.

[Dr Syntax Head]

This thread is your friend

The Karma Sutra for the Clowne generation.

Tip 1. Do it doggy style so you can both watch x-files.

[Cerys]

Are we talking sexual intercourse here?  Because I frequently have other kinds of intercourse with people in the street, but I don't recall ever blowing on them.  Aberystwyth is windy enough as it is - further airflow would discombobulate the seagulls.

[Dr Syntax Head]

Tip 2. At least make an effort to pretend you find your intercourse partner attractive if you don't.

[Kane Jones]

Repeating myself for the billionth time on here but my favourite thing is cunnilingus, specifically face-sitting.

[Neville Chamberlain]

Yes, I too am a lover of the yellow-flowered shrub of the pea family!

EDIT: Oh, intercourse! I'm sorry, I thought you said "into gorse"!!!

[BlodwynPig]

Yes, I too am a lover of the yellow-flowered shrub of the pea family!

EDIT: Oh, intercourse! I'm sorry, I thought you said "into gorse"!!!

I thought you meant cunnilingus

[bgmnts]

Ask your dad.

[Dr Syntax Head]

Repeating myself for the billionth time on here but my favourite thing is cunnilingus, specifically face-sitting.

Queening. They call facesitting Queening.

[imitationleather]

I'm mainly just happy to have been called up to represent my country.

[poo]

I don't just have sex with gashes and bum holes, I live in them.

[Neomod]

This has always been of great comfort to me.

[Kane Jones]

Queening. They call facesitting Queening.

I know, but I hate that term. She's sat on my face; it's face-sitting.

[Dr Syntax Head]

Tip 3. Swarfega makes great lube. It cleans as you glide.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Are we talking sexual intercourse here?  Because I frequently have other kinds of intercourse with people in the street, but I don't recall ever blowing on them.  Aberystwyth is windy enough as it is - further airflow would discombobulate the seagulls.

We are talking about that kind of intercourse, yes.

[Dannyhood91]

Protection is something I always have at the forefront of my mind when engaging a woman physically so I'm never without my trusty crash helmet and chainmail.

[Paul Calf]

We are talking about that kind of intercourse, yes.

I'm a bit hesitant to ask this, but why do you think you'll never do any knobbing?

[checkoutgirl]

I just want to have intercourse once before I die. Is that too much to ask?

Apparently yes, yes it is.

[Fambo Number Mive]

I'm a bit hesitant to ask this, but why do you think you'll never do any knobbing?

Mid thirties and haven't so far. Very unattractive. Weird voice. Lack of balance. Just feel I'll be rubbish at it. Can't be bothered to clear the dangleberries from my bum. Not good with people.

[checkoutgirl]

Intercourse is also a town in Pennsylvania. A place I would like to go at least once before I die. Is that too much to ask? Apparently yes, yes it is.

[checkoutgirl]

Mid thirties and haven't so far. Very unattractive. Weird voice. Lack of balance. Just feel I'll be rubbish at it. Can't be bothered to clear the dangleberries from my bum. Not good with people.

That is why brothels were invented.

[Fambo Number Mive]

I'd rather not have it at all than pay for it. No offence to those who do.

[Cerys]

We are talking about that kind of intercourse, yes.

Just checking.  What are your thoughts on whipped cream and sink plungers?

[Dannyhood91]

Mid thirties and haven't so far. Very unattractive. Weird voice. Lack of balance. Just feel I'll be rubbish at it. Can't be bothered to clear the dangleberries from my bum. Not good with people.

Is it something that bothers you? If it really really is (which it shouldn't because sex is far from the be all end all) you can work on yourself with your confidence and social skills. But I suspect you're not as unattractive etc as you think you are.

[Bhazor]

I have been informed that I am quite good at doing the sex. I found the trick is faking it. Good sexering is all about confidence. Act as if the partner is blowing your mind like everything they do is the most incredible thing to ever happen to your joy department. Tremble at light touches. Practice sweary breathing. Make a noise like Jeff Capes lobbing a fridge when you spunk. Make your partner feel like the super hero of your balls. They'll have the confidence to mantle with a plomb and try every position to full exploit their magical body holes. Soon you won't have to fake it.

I also enjoy light bondage and light psychological abuse. Pinning their arms above them and just leaning over them an inch from their face not doing anything but staring into their eyes and letting out a low rumble. Or balancing a half full glass of water on their forehead and telling them that if they spill it while you gobble them then you'll stop and get dressed and there will be no roaring up any twats for them tonight.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Is it something that bothers you? If it really really is (which it shouldn't because sex is far from the be all end all) you can work on yourself with your confidence and social skills. But I suspect you're not as unattractive etc as you think you are.

It doesn't bother me, but it is something that feels very alien, and I was wondering, if I ever did end up having intercourse with a woman, what kinds of things women enjoy.

[massive bereavement]

They're all different. You have to go where the situation takes you.

[Bhazor]

I'd rather not have it at all than pay for it. No offence to those who do.

No need to pay mate, theres some right skanky whores around these parts who'd pump anything with a pulse for a half pack of monster munch. Like this slattern. https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php?action=profile