Another "I'm going to a place, tell me what to do thread"

[monkfromhavana]

Making a trip to London this weekend for the first time in about 15 years to see Stewart Lee at Festival Hall, and then Saturday night at Scala (N1) watching some Spanish music.

Anyone got any recommendations of decent food places, pubs  that don't cost the earth (nearest Samuel Smith's pub seems to be The Windsor castle) and free things to do around the venues during the day?

We've seen all the tourist tat, apart from the London Dungeons, and don't really want to take part in any stabbings or converting basements which seems to be all the rage in London.

[Vodka Margarine]

I don't think anyone on here lives in London, mate.

[imitationleather]

You've not been to London since 2003? There hasn't been much change except they sell coffee in London now. Go have some of that.

[chocky909]

https://www.bleeckerburger.co.uk/

[monkfromhavana]

You've not been to London since 2003? There hasn't been much change except they sell coffee in London now. Go have some of that.

Why go to London when you have Coventry on your doorstep? The majesty, the splendour, the creativity, the glamour.

Just not really arsed about London to be fair,

[Cuntbeaks]

Don't get stabbed.

Manage that and you'll be fine.

[Buelligan]

Maybe think about not going to London?  As you say, you've managed to make a complete success of it for fifteen years on the trot, why completely fuck a winning streak up the arsehole?  Madness, it seems.

[shiftwork2]

The Horniman Museum and gardens gets a lot of love on here.  Never been but I hope to soon as it sounds brilliant and right quirky.

It has displays of anthropology, natural history and musical instruments, and is known for its large collection of taxidermied animals.

[Buelligan]

I'd pay good money not to see and old stuffed animal.  I'm not even joking.

[shiftwork2]

Well it's free isn't it so you don't have to not pay not to see stuffed animals.  Can't tempt you with a big cat with a rictus grin?

[monkfromhavana]

The Horniman Museum and gardens gets a lot of love on here.  Never been but I hope to soon as it sounds brilliant and right quirky.

I don't think my girlfriend is up for seeing stuffed animals either to be fair.

Maybe think about not going to London?  As you say, you've managed to make a complete success of it for fifteen years on the trot, why completely fuck a winning streak up the arsehole?  Madness, it seems.

I'd rather be sitting under a shady tree in a field in the middle of nowhere, but sometimes you just have to visit the metropolis. Plus, I get to see Stewart Lee, and I don't think he's playing any field near me anytime soon.

[Dr Rock]

There's fuck all to do near the Royal Festival Hall. Maybe go up the OXO tower there's a super swanky bar and restaurant there, they'll let you in if you don't look too shabby.

[Dr Syntax Head]

Do what I did last time I was there and wander around the Brandon estate admiring the tower blocks from 15 storeys high and then play a game of celebriblank around Primrose Hill and then get lost around Canary Wharf on a Boris bike and miss your coach home and a week later get charged £50 for not putting the Boris bike in one of those Boris bike stations because I left it on the steps of a bank. I did this when I went to see Swervedriver and drank way too much Vodka. Best night in London ever.

[idunnosomename]

Aberdeen Angus Steak House. Yum yum

[Dr Syntax Head]

Sit in a park drinking wine

[monkfromhavana]

There's fuck all to do near the Royal Festival Hall. Maybe go up the OXO tower there's a super swanky bar and restaurant there, they'll let you in if you don't look too shabby.

I will be looking shabby, I can't look anything other than shabby. I'd go to a park, but I'm loathe to do that. I'm in the metropolis, I want to be bedazzled by sight and sounds that shake the rustication out of me. I want concrete and angles and fun and most of all not having my girlfriend moan at me that we've done nowt and that once again I've failed in my organisational abilities when it comes to "going out".

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

You say you've done the tourist tat but you can hardly beat the range of free museums out there, some of them are enormous so I'm sure you won't feel you've seen it all before.

Gods Own Junkyard looks quite cool, a repository of old neon signs.
The Viktor Wynd Museum which is full of curios and largely unlabelled, but fascinating and not that expensive

Really shit ideas:
£10.50 for the fucking ArcelorMittal Orbit, to go down a slide and see a huge bell

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

https://europeanbarguide.wordpress.com/bar-directory/

Lastly, I don't have the biggest selection for London (20 or so) as unfortunately I don't live there, but you can use my map to browse good pubs and bars near you at any given moment.

[monkfromhavana]

Gods Own Junkyard looks quite cool, a repository of old neon signs.
The Viktor Wynd Museum which is full of curios and largely unlabelled, but fascinating and not that expensive

These sound pretty interesting, I'll run them up the flagpole.

As for the bar guide, the Citte of Yorke was a pub I was looking at going to anyway, so I might nip in and see what's going on.

[Dr Rock]

I will be looking shabby, I can't look anything other than shabby. I'd go to a park, but I'm loathe to do that. I'm in the metropolis, I want to be bedazzled by sight and sounds that shake the rustication out of me. I want concrete and angles and fun and most of all not having my girlfriend moan at me that we've done nowt and that once again I've failed in my organisational abilities when it comes to "going out".

Take her up the OXO tower then. Not a euphemism. You can drink cocktails or eat posh food with a great view over London.

If you've got time, explore the secret labyrinthine Knights Templar related mini-city where the barristers train and there's a church with a dead king in it or summit. Slightly better known now that Dan Brown blew its cover

http://www.bbc.com/travel/story/20160510-the-hidden-world-of-the-knights-templar


You can enter via that little door in Fleet Street or wander up towards it, from the south, if you've parked near R Festival Hall.

[buttgammon]

Trying to think of London pubs...I like The Ten Bells in Spitalfields, but that mightn't be too convenient for you. The Blackfriar by Blackfriars Station is nice too - the decor inside is seriously nice. In fact, it's a really nice building in general.

Aberdeen Angus Steak House. Yum yum

My dad was a Londoner and he took great pleasure in ridiculing them. It's something I seem to have inherited from him, as I'm obsessed with them, despite the fact that I'd never go in one, not even out of morbid curiosity. My latest hobby is reading negative reviews of them on Tripadvisor.

[colacentral]

I thought this would be a Knightmare thread.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Whatever you do, don't eat at Caravan in King's Cross. Fucking wank.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

I thought this would be a Knightmare thread.

Sidestep left. No, LEFT.
Cunt.

[idunnosomename]

My dad was a Londoner and he took great pleasure in ridiculing them. It's something I seem to have inherited from him, as I'm obsessed with them, despite the fact that I'd never go in one, not even out of morbid curiosity. My latest hobby is reading negative reviews of them on Tripadvisor.

I do wonder if time is coming up on them like Woolies. They have big banners saying "no booking necessary for large parties". Are they a money laundering scheme or what

[buttgammon]

I do wonder if time is coming up on them like Woolies. They have big banners saying "no booking necessary for large parties". Are they a money laundering scheme or what

I think it's the lack of pressure in knowing they don't need to attract repeat business because most of their customers don't live in London. Even so, they do seem like a complete anachronism, but I've heard some of them make enormous amounts of money. It does sound like they're getting desperate if they have to advertise the fact that large parties can get in without booking.

[poo]

Try and do all the Pret a Mangers

[bgmnts]

Market Borough is always good for me.

I could just do a tour of eating street food in London. Where is that old petrol station that they have transformed into a little street food square? Wherever it is, go there.

Its next to a Tesco Express i think. So just search every Teaco Express in London.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Try and do all the Pret a Mangers

What do you have to get in each store for it to count

[Small Man Big Horse]

There's fuck all to do near the Royal Festival Hall. Maybe go up the OXO tower there's a super swanky bar and restaurant there, they'll let you in if you don't look too shabby.

I was there last night for Marc Maron and they've got an Abba exhibition thing going on at the moment! https://www.southbankcentre.co.uk/whats-on/123377-abba-super-troupers-201718 - I'd have done it for free to waste some time but the ticket price is ridiculously high.

If you've the time I found The Viktor Wynd Museum of Curiosities amusing and pretentious, it's undoubtedly a bit too much in love with itself but I'm definitely glad I went - http://www.thelasttuesdaysociety.org/museum-curiosities/

Oh and this is daft and silly but worth going to if near by: http://www.novelty-automation.com/