Car Crash Televisionion

[lebowskibukowski]

Does Guy Goma count? Please tell me Guy Goma counts...

[Steven]

Does Guy Goma count? Please tell me Guy Goma counts...

Hes a business studies graduate, so I imagine he can. Racist.

[Namtab]

I was referring to his infamous appearance on Jonathan Ross that you won't find online, as his management have it taken down the instant it pops up again.

Tom Waits must have a similar arrangement regarding his appearance on Channel Four's Loose Talk, as it has dropped off the internet entirely. All I could find was a transcript that doesn't quite do justice to it(and doesn't have the bit where Waits got hacked off with Ian Hislop).

http://www.tomwaitsfan.com/tom%20waits%20library/www.tomwaitslibrary.com/interviews/83-oct18-loosetalk.html

What did Hislop do to hack him off?

[Steven]

What did Hislop do to hack him off?

Waits was speaking incredibly quietly so he asked him to speak up so the audience could hear him, is all.

[St_Eddie]

What did Hislop do to hack him off?

That's ten kinds of wrong.

[Jockice]

One from the early 90s that nobody else seems to have seen. Probably because they were at work while I was stuck in bed with a knackered back at the time.

The Time The Place with John Stapleton. An audience-participation chat show in which they used to do a different subject every day. One day it was long-distance romance. Lest we forget it was pre-internet so such things weren't easy. The centrepiece was a woman whose great love lived in America and they were currently discussing whether she should live over there or he should come here.

The grand finale was Stapleton phoning him up. Unfortunately this guy had obviously not been warned about the call and wasn't too pleased to be called by a stranger at what would have been the very early hours of the morning in the US. And made this perfectly clear. I don't think he actually swore. but he certainly wasn't pleasant. Something along the lines of: "How dare you telephone me? And how the hell did you get my number?" He then hung up.

The shocked expression on the woman's face as she realised that this wasn't as good an idea as she must have originally thought was something to behold. I wonder if the relationship actually carried on after that.

[Isnt Anything]

Had she never spoken to him on the phone before ?

[Glebe]

The Time The Place with John Stapleton.

I had to post it.

[Jockice]

Had she never spoken to him on the phone before ?

I assume she had but it was Stapleton who made the call and got cut off before he had the chance to pass the phone onto her. Which I think was the plan.

[thraxx]

I had to post it.

I've decided that I think John Stapleton handles this pretty well. Better than Kilroy or Trisha or Kyle would have.

[kidsick5000]

Not sure it counts but Jonathan Ross' review of Clerks 2 was so vitriolic it was close to a personal attack.
I'm no fan of the turd that is Clerks 2 but it has to be seen to be believed.
I don't know who was more upset about it, but this is another seemingly wiped from the internet.
Did Ross regret it or did the BBC or Kevin Smith go after and take down all evidence of it?

[bgmnts]

I dont know if it's car crash but Lynne Perrie on shooting stars pissed as a fart is quite cringeworthy.

I think they get away with it because the show is so anarchic anyway.

Robin Gibb was incredibly humourless on that show too.

[Chriddof]

The bit I always remember about the Lynne Perrie episode of Shooting Stars is how she completely fucked up the "Vic's Joke" bit, where as you'll recall he'd say a bad joke and no one would laugh, and bells would start tolling on the soundtrack (accompanied by literal tumbleweeds blowing across a long shot of the set). When Vic gave the punchline, Lynne did this weird sort of strangled "AAHHHH-HA-HAAAAAAA" laugh, immediately making everything feel awkward. I think it was Sarah Greene (who was also on that episode) who started to giggle a moment later out of nerves or something, and then fully cracked up, followed by the audience all laughing as well. Bob had to completely skip the standard "I told you not to tell it" part and move straight onto the next round.

Another really awkward moment on Shooting Stars was when Matt Lucas told a joke to Griff Rhys Jones in one show - can't recall what it entailed but Griff appeared to get quite annoyed with it and gave Lucas a very severe glare. I've noticed they've cut that out of the repeats. As it happens, Lucas made the same joke to someone else in the same series - think it was a footballer - and this time the other bloke did actually laugh at it.

[St_Eddie]

I dont know if it's car crash but Lynne Perrie on shooting stars pissed as a fart is quite cringeworthy.

There was also the time that she noshed off a stripper on live television.

[kidsick5000]

Robin Gibb was incredibly humourless on that show too.

I think he'd been sold the wrong idea of what it was.
He was on the promotion circuit for his solo stuff.
For some reason, Vic and Bob/ the producers agreed that a snippet of his new song would get played. It has a stop/start intro which people took as a joke (understandably) and Gibb thought they were laughing directly at his music rather than a gag.

[biggytitbo]

Another really awkward moment on Shooting Stars was when Matt Lucas told a joke to Griff Rhys Jones in one show - can't recall what it entailed but Griff appeared to get quite annoyed with it and gave Lucas a very severe glare. I've noticed they've cut that out of the repeats. As it happens, Lucas made the same joke to someone else in the same series - think it was a footballer - and this time the other bloke did actually laugh at it.

The thing that weirdly always made me feel awkward is when 'Mad' Frankie Fraser was on the show, a man who a notorious psychopath, murderer and torturer. he might have been in his 70s by that point but when Matt Lucas lays into him, rampantly taking the piss and getting incredibly aggro at him, it still made me cringe and worry for his safety a bit. Was ballsy though, I guess he thought it was OK because he was dressed as a baby.

[Jockice]

I think he'd been sold the wrong idea of what it was.
He was on the promotion circuit for his solo stuff.

Not TV, but it reminds me of the time when Nik Kershaw couldn't get arrested but he had a new album out which his record company were trying to promote. The paper I worked for was planning to run a Valentine's Day special (I know, how do they think of such things?) and, basically as a favour, set him up to do a phone interview about his attitudes to love and romance with a young female reporter who knew bugger all about music.

You can probably guess how that went. He kept trying to shoehorn mentions of his album into it and she wasn't remotely interested, leading to the infamous, interview-ending exchange where he went: "What about my career?" and she replied: "What career?"

[Glebe]

Not really car crash, but let's be having some vintage Parky and Kenneth Williams having a wee bit of a barney.

And continuing the Carry-On theme, there's a certain melancholy about an aging, pissed, Charles Hawtrey being interviewed by Roy Hudd.

[biggytitbo]

Someone could have put his wig on straight.

[Porter Dimi]

Another really awkward moment on Shooting Stars was when Matt Lucas told a joke to Griff Rhys Jones in one show - can't recall what it entailed but Griff appeared to get quite annoyed with it and gave Lucas a very severe glare. I've noticed they've cut that out of the repeats. As it happens, Lucas made the same joke to someone else in the same series - think it was a footballer - and this time the other bloke did actually laugh at it.

Speaking of Matt Lucas: Mash & Peas on Dom & Kirks Night O Plenty

[AsparagusTrevor]

The bit I always remember about the Lynne Perrie episode of Shooting Stars is how she completely fucked up the "Vic's Joke" bit, where as you'll recall he'd say a bad joke and no one would laugh, and bells would start tolling on the soundtrack (accompanied by literal tumbleweeds blowing across a long shot of the set). When Vic gave the punchline, Lynne did this weird sort of strangled "AAHHHH-HA-HAAAAAAA" laugh, immediately making everything feel awkward. I think it was Sarah Greene (who was also on that episode) who started to giggle a moment later out of nerves or something, and then fully cracked up, followed by the audience all laughing as well. Bob had to completely skip the standard "I told you not to tell it" part and move straight onto the next round.

Another really awkward moment on Shooting Stars was when Matt Lucas told a joke to Griff Rhys Jones in one show - can't recall what it entailed but Griff appeared to get quite annoyed with it and gave Lucas a very severe glare. I've noticed they've cut that out of the repeats. As it happens, Lucas made the same joke to someone else in the same series - think it was a footballer - and this time the other bloke did actually laugh at it.

God, Lynne Perrie's laugh has indelibly burned itself into my brain, even watching that clip for the first time in at least a decade I remembered exactly the noise she made.

[NurseNugent]

I remember Leslie Grantham on That's Show Business getting asked a question about Abba or some other 70s music and getting it wrong and one of the other guests or Mike Smith saying "Where were you in the 70s" in a fairly light hearted, how did you not know that kind of way. Cue glares and awkward silence before Mike Smith moves on.

Anyone else remember it? 

   

[Steve Williams]

No clips for these but does anybody else remember Graham Norton calling his co-host a "stupid bitch" during his New Year special, back in the 90's?

Sorry to spoil this, but it wasn't quite like that. It was his Millennium Special in 1999/2000 and Raquel Welch appeared live via satellite for a slightly stilted interview. At the end there was some textbook nineties Norton business and when they went back to Welch for a goodbye, she said "I hope you achieve a higher level of taste next year" and then the link failed and she disappeared, to which Norton said, "Well, happy new year to her, the grumpy old bitch", to much hilarity from the audience.

Anyway, apparently it was because she could only hear what was going on, not see it, and it sounded much worse than it was, and Graham apologised afterwards and everyone was friends again.

[DrGreggles]

I remember Leslie Grantham on That's Show Business getting asked a question about Abba or some other 70s music and getting it wrong and one of the other guests or Mike Smith saying "Where were you in the 70s" in a fairly light hearted, how did you not know that kind of way. Cue glares and awkward silence before Mike Smith moves on.
Anyone else remember it? 

I remember seeing Leslie Grantham walking around near the arts theatre in Cambridge a few years ago.
I was so surprised that I nearly forgot to shout "MURDERER!" at him.

[Custard]

Leslie Grantham is someone who could only ever be hard in a soap. See also: Steve Owen and Phil Mitchell. Bunch of chocolate hardmen

Plus Grantham is a shooter, not a fighter

AND NO, LETS NOT POST THAT WEBCAM PIC PLEASE

[Bad Ambassador]

Leslie Grantham is someone who could only ever be hard in a soap

Er, yeah, apart from that time he literally murdered someone.

[Custard]

With a gun. That's not hard

Grant Mitchell would batter him up, blud

[BlodwynPig]

CaB "hardman" Shameless Custard, there. Reporting from under his Incredible Hulk duvet.

[the]

Another really awkward moment on Shooting Stars was when Matt Lucas told a joke to Griff Rhys Jones in one show - can't recall what it entailed but Griff appeared to get quite annoyed with it and gave Lucas a very severe glare. I've noticed they've cut that out of the repeats. As it happens, Lucas made the same joke to someone else in the same series - think it was a footballer - and this time the other bloke did actually laugh at it.

Was that the bait-and-switch joke where the format was something like:

George (smiling): Ere, you're that [celebrity] from [thing] aren't you!

Celebrity: Yes, that's right.

George (turning nasty): Yeah, well so what mate... Y'know, you can't just roll in ere acting the big man, giving it all that...

etc.

[Custard]

I will Stanley you, BlodwynPig

Carve you up like a fackin' Christmas turkey

(It's a Thanos duvet)