Who Wants To Be A Millionaire with Jeremy Clarkson

[JesusAndYourBush]

Did anyone see this last night?  I saw a trailer a week or so ago and assumed they were taking the piss, that they'd got him to do the trailer for a laugh but someone else would be doing the show... but no, it's Clarkson presenting WWTBAM!

It's back to the original format of 15 questions rather than the later one where they changed it to 11 questions and introduced time limits for each question to try and hurry things up a bit.

AND OMG... it's so slow.  That first guy... he took 40 minutes to get 8 grand.  Jesus Wept it was excruciating to watch.  It must have taken about 20 minutes to get through what I call "the idiot questions" - the first 5 questions up to $1000 which only an idiot could get wrong.  (Although saying that,  there was a question about what TV show Meghan Markle had been in which I didn't know because I haven't read any of the articles about her in the tabloids.)

They're only doing it for a week but if they're waiting to look at ratings before commissioning a series then they need to do something about the pacing.   It'll fail, but not because of Clarkson who surprisingly did a good job of hosting it, but because it's so bloody slow.

[Dog Botherer]

[Alberon]

Give it two more lifelines where contestants can stay in the game after a wrong answer. One is called 'arm' and one is called 'leg'. The contestant can choose to stay in the game by entering a legally binding agreement to have an arm or a leg removed surgically.

Actually, that's given me a great idea for a quiz show reworking of the hangman game. Though it would have to be filmed in Switzerland for petty legal reasons.

[Emma Raducanu]

The audience were so eager to laugh at everything

[kidsick5000]

It's back to the original format of 15 questions rather than the later one where they changed it to 11 questions and introduced time limits for each question to try and hurry things up a bit.

AND OMG... it's so slow.

Is that where we're at? Nostalgia for the pauses?
Oh, then again. It did start 20 years ago. As you were.

[imitationleather]

They should have updated the format for our generation by awarding the prize in Bitcoin.

[machotrouts]

The original 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire' is the only well-paced gameshow I've ever watched. Every other gameshow is too fast, there's no tension, no time to think. You'd think the problem would be with me, that I'm just too slow, but no, it turns out it's actually everything else that's wrong.

[Blumf]

They should have updated the format for our generation by awarding the prize in Bitcoin.

Instead of questions, the contestant has to calculate the bitcoin hashes by hand to mine the prize money.

You want your pause, there's your fucking pause!

"8491452381016cf80562ff489e492e00331de3553178c73c5169574000f1ed1c, is that your final answer?"

[Consignia]

I would have put the fastest finger first as a proof of work.

[biggytitbo]

Shouldnt it be who wants to be a billionaire by now what with inflation?

[machotrouts]

Did you see "The Million Pound Drop" recently got demoted to "The £100,000 Drop"? Nothing is sacred. What the fuck can you do with £100,000? Take a big fat SHIT on it, that's all. You can't even use it to wipe the SHIT off your ARSE – because you've already SHIT on it. WORTHLESS

[imitationleather]

Actually pre-2008 we were all rolling in fucking dough and a million back then was pretty much just chump change. I'm surprised the revamp isn't Who Wants A Jumbo-Sized Tin of Hot Dogs with Jeremy Clarkson.

[shiftwork2]

Who Wants To Blow It Out Their Arse

[shiftwork2]

Who Wants To Be A Jeremy Clarkson with Jeremy Clarkson




Apparently if you're the Friend a big fuck-off bouncer comes round to your house to make sure you don't google it, it was on Danny Baker the other week.

[thraxx]

How long before there's a side show on its coat tails called 'who want to win £80 with Richard The Hamster Hammond?'.

[Replies From View]

Are audiences still allowed to cough in this?

[Rolf Lundgren]

Apparently if you're the Friend a big fuck-off bouncer comes round to your house to make sure you don't google it, it was on Danny Baker the other week.

I don't get the point of that. They say it's to stop them cheating but if somebody can google the answer within 30 seconds then fair play to them. It's a boring night for the person who has to travel to somewhere in the country to sit in someone else's living room on the off chance they'll get a phone call.

[Kelvin]

What is the point of asking the host when he's so spectacularly ignorant about everything? He's not been confident about a single answer he's given.

[Kelvin]

Haha, fucking hell. Talked someone out of £7000, what a tosser.

[St_Eddie]

I don't get the point of that. They say it's to stop them cheating but if somebody can google the answer within 30 seconds then fair play to them. It's a boring night for the person who has to travel to somewhere in the country to sit in someone else's living room on the off chance they'll get a phone call.

I don't know where Danny Baker is getting his information from but I'm fairly certain that it's a common misconception that the producers sent a bouncer around to all of the phone a friends' places of residence.  The logistics of that would be insane (all of the potential phone a friends, for all of the potential contestants).

As you say; it's not really feasible for a person to hear the question and google the answer within the span of 30 seconds.  I recall a producer talking about this once and saying how they would often hear the frenzied sound of keyboard keys being hammered, during the 'phone a friend' segments but none of them were ever able to google the answer in time.

The only way I can imagine the producers being able to make it work logistically, would be to have all of the potential phone a friends in a green room, back stage at the studio, with a single bouncer on hand.  However, like I say; I remember hearing a producer say that they simply rely on the fact that it's ridiculously difficult to google an answer within the span of 30 seconds (especially when under pressure).

Furthermore, I also recall a person regaling their experience in their capacity as a former phone a friend. They didn't try to google the answer but they talked about how they had to stay in all evening, on the off-chance that they got a phone call from the show and that every time their phone rang and it was a friend or family member, they'd have to shoo them away, to keep the line free.  There was no mention of a bouncer or any such thing.

So, yeah, Danny Baker's talking shit.

[rectorofstiffkey]

Haha, fucking hell. Talked someone out of £7000, what a tosser.

Watching the contestant in the immediate aftermath of that was an experience; not sure I've ever seen such a divided face.  Her mouth was smiling and saying the right things but her eyes shone pure cold hatred.  I'd advise Clarkson not to walk down any dark alleys in the near future.

[rectorofstiffkey]

I don't know where Danny Baker is getting his information from but I'm fairly certain that it's a common misconception that the producers sent a bouncer around to all of the phone a friends' places of residence.  The logistics of that would be insane (all of the potential phone a friends, for all of the potential contestants).

It's more feasible than it was, because they've cut it down to two per contestant (at least, one of the contestants said so last night), and it used to be five.

Clarkson refers to it every single phone-a-friend time, so if it's not true then he's a big ol' liar.

[St_Eddie]

It's more feasible than it was, because they've cut it down to two per contestant (at least, one of the contestants said so last night), and it used to be five.

Clarkson refers to it every single phone-a-friend time, so if it's not true then he's a big ol' liar.

Ah, I see.  I haven't watched this new version (I can't get a TV signal for love nor money).  If Baker was referring to this new iteration of the show, then it's just about feasible, I suppose (though still not really credible if there's still ten or so potential contestants, up for the hot seat).  Even if Baker is correct in regards to this new version of the show, then he's still inadvertently helping to perpetuate the misconception that the show's always been produced this way, which is mildly annoying.  He should get his facts straight/clarify the era of production (delete as appropriate).  Fucking baked potato.

[Zetetic]

Why would you only have 30 seconds to Google the question?

[Cloud]

The folks watch The Chase and Eggheads religiously and I'm sick to the back teeth of both.  Nice to see some Millionnaire again to shake things up! (Too bad the others are still running!)

Clarkson does seem right for it, the way he speaks just "works" as a replacement for Tarrant (did he get offered and decline or what?  Or did he die in the great celebrity purge of 2016?)

Bloody hell though he rips into the contestants.  "Says it as it is" in classic Clarkson style.  When he said to the first one "well maybe we'll get someone next who has a bit of general knowledge" I thought "fucking hell Jeremy you don't pull your punches do you?"

[Alberon]

Bloody hell though he rips into the contestants.  "Says it as it is" in classic Clarkson style.  When he said to the first one "well maybe we'll get someone next who has a bit of general knowledge" I thought "fucking hell Jeremy you don't pull your punches do you?"

That's what've what got him fired from the BBC.

[Phil_A]

I was sure I heard Phone A Friend participants used to be shut up in a hotel for the duration of filming to negate the possibility of cheating. Do they just not bother now?

[Hat FM]

i like the idea that its a massive bouncer who sits with the phone a friend people. does he beat them up if they attempt to google?

[Captain Z]

Why would you only have 30 seconds to Google the question?

Because that's the time limit of your phonecall.

They should just update the lifelines so that one of them allows you 30 seconds to google the answer.

[St_Eddie]

Why would you only have 30 seconds to Google the question?

During the 'phone a friend' lifeline, the contestant is given 30 seconds to read off the question to their friend and that friend is then given the remaining time (minus the time it took to ask the question and list the possible answers) to give their answer.  That's less than 30 seconds to google the question.